<p>It’s hard to imagine a kid who adores Auburn being a poor fit at FSU. Talk about football and a fun campus! If your in-state school were, say, U of Vermont or Wyoming, I’d say that was apples and oranges. But Auburn and FSU are like a Gala apple and a Fuji apple. I don’t think you’re being stingy under these circumstances. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with an Auburn visit as long as you are clear about her need for a merit scholarship.</p>
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<p>You mean they aren’t? :)</p>
<p>Too stingy? No. Part of what we are trying to teach them is how to manage money. To take a big expense and double it, for thin reasons, is generally not good money management. We don’t normally let 17-year-olds make major financial decisions for the family. They don’t always understand their own long-term best interests, either. To wit, teen marriages often end badly.</p>
<p>I am a proponent of the “here’s the budget” approach. The kid can tell me how she’s going to make it work.</p>
<p>I think it can be dicey, deciding whether to visit (or apply) where the numbers are clearly unworkable. If the kid dislikes the school, or is not admitted, whew. The answer is “no”, and I didn’t have to be the one to say it. But it’s possible for the visit and the application to be misunderstood by the kid as encouragement. </p>
<p>When the two parents disagree on the college budget, I think they need to sit down together with a financial planner, acknowledge their long-term financial goals as a couple, evaluate their progress toward those goals, and decide together how much they can really afford to spend on college.</p>
<p>I have always lived in the Northeast. I doubt that a resume listing one large southern football school would command a premium over another, when the graduates are interviewing as young adults in the Northeast. If the grad had come through some specific, unusual, distinguished program at the school, and came to the employer’s attention through contacts in the field, it might be different. But when a high schooler has undefined career goals, and the selection of colleges is not program-driven or specialty-driven, that will probably not be a factor.</p>
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<p>Very likely somewhat similar in academic quality, after all, they are state schools…but the “college life experience” would be different at UAH or UAB than it would be a UGa or Bama. UAH and UAB are largely commuter/suitcase schools. UAB is an urban campus. UGA and Bama have more of a traditional campus. UAH is a small regional public. </p>
<p>Bama differs from UGA by having a LOT more OOS students (BTW…over 900 Calif students attend Bama, Calif is #5 state that sends students to Bama.)</p>
<p>Anyway, I agree with @Hanna A student that likes Auburn is going to find that FSU is quite similar (except that FSU is in a larger city). Fit will be similar. Sounds like the Auburn wish is simply one to go “OOS”. </p>
<p>If DD wants to go OOS, then look at Miss St…also a nice campus, but merit awards are given for lower stats.</p>
<p>Honestly, she can’t give me a good reason for wanting to go to auburn. I believe it’s because she would be different by going out of state. Except for the few outliers in her public high school who are going elite or private, the great majority of the kids in her class are going to the instate publics. UF, FSU, the directionals, or community college. She will just have to be happy being one of them. I do know we tried to get her to study for the sat and act, but she had too many other things going on to bother. If she had done better so she was in a position of maybe getting some merit aid, possibly I would feel differently. But she, like all kids, needs to learn that if they want something, they have to work for it.</p>
<p>It is perhaps a few hundred dollars to visit Auburn from Florida, assuming you want to stay overnight because it is too far not to:
<a href=“Undergraduate Admissions | Auburn University”>http://www.auburn.edu/admissions/visit/family-tour-form.html</a></p>
<p>The tours seem to be during the week.</p>
<p>I would not quash my child’s dreams without at least having them look at what they are comparing. Especially if my child is hung up on Auburn and I am not sure why.</p>
<p>The EFC vs. real life is a hard comparison. If you <em>truly</em> can’t afford Auburn, you absolutely positively are not being stingy. If you have to cut out some vacations in order to afford Auburn, that is different.</p>
<p>My plan, FWIW, is to let my son apply RD to schools that are outside our EFC by 10K or more, IF he can tell me why he really REALLY wants to go there. Then, if he is accepted, he’ll get an FA package. And we’ll compare that FA package to other schools. Then, I can convince him if the FA is not good enough, he is not going.</p>
<p>We will be going into the process of applying to any school that is likely too expensive as “you can go if they give sufficient aid” and he can’t if they don’t. I don’t see harm in trying that for your daughter.</p>
<p>^ I agree with parents who say she ought to know the budget - she can go to Auburn if she gets enough merit aid so that Auburn fits in the budget,
(Don’t make the budget artificially low, like, lower than R&B, though, so that it sounds “real” to your daughter, not another way to say “no”… I’d pick something that you feel is reasonable, between what you’d pay for a Florida public, and what would stretch your budget - for example, if Florida Public is 22k, Auburn at 40k is too much, you can say anything from 22k to 27k…?)
Then you offer to pay for her to take the ACT or the SAT again so that her opportunities at scholarships increase.
There’s no significant difference between Auburn and USF, FSU, UCF, etc. so I understand your point.
If she wants to go out of state, there are other possibilities: Ole Miss (with lower ACT requirements for scholarships); Millsaps (small, but in a State Capital), Hendrix (small but near Little Rock), Guilford in Greensboro; Agnes Scott, Hollins, Sweet Briar, Meredith; Appalachian State (has football but also snow), UNC-Wilmington (beach resort + TV stars but no football), UMW ( not far from DC but no football)…
Each of these schools is different from Florida Publics, in different ways; all are accessible to a daughter with decent but not extraordinary stats; all have merit aid (and/or low costs); all would be an opportunity to “go out of state” at a decent cost (do run the NPCs before you list them to her, if you so wish to do, to check for costs.)
Good luck to you :)</p>
<p>If she just wants to go OOS to be different from most of her classmates then have her look at this thread:</p>
<p><a href=“VERY LOW COST OOS COA universities......less than $25k COA for everything! - Financial Aid and Scholarships - College Confidential Forums”>VERY LOW COST OOS COA universities......less than $25k COA for everything! - Financial Aid and Scholarships - College Confidential Forums;
<p>there are a number of schools on the list that have low COAs. </p>
<p>She could also look at U New Mexico and the Dakota publics. They have Div 1 sports and low OOS costs or rather generous merit (UNM). Her stats may be high enough for merit from UNM.</p>
<p>I agree that she should have to work for what she wants…If she does find a low-cost OOS arrangement, then I’d have her work during summers to help pay for something…books, travel costs, etc.</p>
<p>Univ of South Dakota has an OOS COA of about $23k per year. A flagship, big sports and low cost.</p>
<p>I appreciate these schools, but in the end they will all cost significantly more. Florida has a pretty decent prepaid system …at least it did when I bought it. Almost all fees and tuition for four years of college were paid for long ago at an average price of 75.00 per credit hour. Dorms for the first year were paid for. We have to pay for the food plan and books the first year…and then florida bright futures will contribute about ś2000 per year. No matter how much tuition or fees inflate, we are covered. Since these schools are all decent schools… and she can still have the college experience of being away from home. She does not want too small of a school. She wants a larger university. You all have pretty much convinced me that going out of state is not reasonable even if I can afford it.</p>
<p>It’s NOT about not going out of state.
It’s about going out of state <em>justifyingly</em> and at a cost that is affordable.
Going to Auburn, Clemson, or UAH rather than USF for instance makes no sense; choosing, say, Hendrix or U New Mexico or Agnes Scott or Appalachian State would be very different from choosing a Florida public: respectively, for experiential opportunities and contact with professors; for experiencing a different culture that is part of the US; for an academically focused, women’s college in a big city; for a college in the mountains and in another part of the country (with a different student body and a different culture). Additionally, these would let you avoide the mandatory summer session and online classes 
Based on what you said earlier, all of these would be affordable, and the price difference could be justified since there’s be a “plus” compared to the Florida public. You’d have slightly higher costs but there’d be definite added value. You’d be allowed to use your prepaid plan, BTW: “Don’t worry if your child decides to attend an out-of-state or private school, you can still use your benefits.” (copy/paste from the FL 529s/prepaid website).</p>
<p>(Note that in your original post you didn’t say you wanted to pay the same thing IS and OOS, you said $40,000 for OOS was too much - which we all agreed on, pretty much. There’s a difference between saying “I won’t pay 40K” and “I won’t pay if it’s OOS”.)</p>
<p>So, going to Auburn from Florida is pointless, but going out of state isn’t, especially if she finds something that you can afford (even if it’s more expensive than some instate colleges, which you can transfer in many instances) AND is different. Which is why I suggested all these colleges, all different from Florida schools. Going to school in South Dakota or in Maine would also be inherently different from going to school in Florida.
But in all cases there’s a drawback and she should understand that - a smaller school, or colder weather, or taking on work-study, or going to the same school that everyone’s going to.</p>
<p>Also, if she doesn’t want to do what everyone does, why not let her apply to Eckerd, Flagler, Rollins, UTampa…? There’s bound to be a couple private FL schools that she will get into and where she’ll get merit or FA.
In addition, could she get into UMiami, for instance? She’d have football and still be in FL, plus it’d be different from what “everyone does”.</p>
<p>Why not let her apply to a variety of schools, telling her what the budget is (making sure it’s not a “fake” choice, whereby the only schools that are affordable are Florida public schools - kids hate being tricked like that) and when admissions and financial aid packages come in, make the choice keeping costs in mind? She could even apply to Auburn. And if Auburn is 40K, well, it’s off the table; if she finds a way to make an OOS school work, good for her (and it’ll mean she got invested in her college search, thus her future.)
Why not suggest she take the SAT/ACT once more, in case it brings OOS merit money?
(There’s no downside: it’ll make her score higher for Florida publics too…)</p>
<p>Got to admit, some of these schools sound intriguing. North Dakota? I would think these types of schools would be a a huge culture shock. She will only be eighteen and I think going away to school for the first time being away from home will be difficult enough. But a brand new culture in a part of the country she has never been? I could see that being a total failure and her wanting to come home immediately. </p>
<p>Anyway, she has made clear she does not want a too small of a school. We had already suggested Flager in St. Augustine, which I personally really like, both the school and the town . . but she said too small. I would think Stetson and Rollins were in the same category. Eckerd I don’t know much about, but doubt it has the reputation in the Northeast that a Florida Public University would have. And UM . . too far south, too hot (my daughter likes cold) and simply way too expensive. Unless my daughter wanted to major in something like Marine Science, I just don’t see the value. She will never be a Stem major . . . and I also have to assume she will change her major more than once. So the cost of trying new things and taking more than four years to graduate needs to be possibly expected.</p>
<p>I suppose if were to send her out of State, going to School in New York or Pennsylvania might be the best bet for her, because that is where she wants to end up anyway. But again it comes down to cost. She can graduate debt free from a Florida College and it will not be a financial strain on the family (we have another in college right now). We can afford a school up north . . . BUT, I still think it better she stay closer to home, get the most bang for the buck, and then, as a twenty two-three year old, with a new BS or BA, no debt, start out her life by going wherever she wants to go. She absolutely loves NYC and my guess is that is where she will end up. And things could be worse. Go to New York, live there with some roommates, get a job with potential growth . . and live the life. Maybe even get residency up there and go on to Grad School. Like I said, we will help her do that. Especially, if we save significant dollars at the undergrad level.</p>
<p>I think your plan is good and sound indeed but your daughter needs to have choices (that’s why they’re supposed to have 2 safeties) and she’ll likely balk if you tell her your plan. Let her come to it on her own.
She may be able to compromise a little on Flagler (St Augustine is cool, it’s big enough that she wouldn’t feel as isolated as, say, in Sewanee, Grinnell, or UMN-Morris).
Yes, it’d be a huge culture shock, but some kids want this. If she doesn’t, fine. But she’ll see you’re serious about the OOS business, if it has an added value (such as learning how to live far away from home in a very different culture).
Schools like UMN-Twin Cities or SD or Maine are rather cheap so even if it’d be cheaper to stay in-state, there’d be a “reason” for wanting to go there. Not that I think a FL WOULD WANT to attend college in, say, the Dakotas or Nebraska, but… it’d be on the table.
Indeed, you’re right, it’d make more sense for her to look at colleges in PA/NJ/NY.
A few colleges there could be bargains. Remember you can use your prepaid/529 there too
However, once again, she’d have to compromise on a few things.
For example, West Chester is relatively cheap ($9,700 tuition), large, and it has some scholarships to boot; it’s by Philly but it is mostly commuter. Most of the PASSHE schools are easy to get into, have merit scholarships for 3.25 or 3.5 GPAS (or even 3.0, depending on the school), and are located throughout the State (they’re the equivalend of the Florida Directionals). Then you have the Penn State Branch campuses, but costs are likely to be unaffordable after 2 years when the branch students move to the main campus. The SUNYs are low-cost to start with and some may have scholarships.
You can run Net Price Calculators on DeSales, St Joe’s (Philly), Duquesne (Pittsburgh), Temple (but THAT would be a bigger shock than the Dakotas if she’s not used to “urban living”), Susquehanna (friendliest administration ever), Dickinson, Moravian, UScranton, Muhlenberg, Juniata, Washington&Jefferson(near Pittsburgh), Ursinus (near Philadelphia) Lycoming; TCNJ, Marist, SUNY New Paltz, Adelphi, Ithaca, Geneseo, Hartwick, Siena, Manhattanville, Drew, Caldwell. She may bear being at a small college if she’s not far from NYC and/or Philadelphia…
She could even apply to some of the CUNYs (CSI just built brand-new dorms), Pace, Fordham (why not) and see what happens; and if it’s too costly? Well, it’s too costly and she’ll go there for grad school once she graduates, debt-free, from a FL university… :)</p>
<p>Has she visited a smaller school and a large one yet? Just would make sure she understands what each if them feel like before she dismisses one sight unseen. </p>
<p>Going back to your DD’s interests, business or communication, I’d need to take a look at the FL colleges more closely. UM is not just known for marine science. They have a lot invested in NS, and have a strong support network for LDs. Almost all of the UM graduates I have met have been in business. There are many internship opportunities in Miami. </p>
<p>If she wants relatively cooler climate, FL state, St Augustine, etc. are better options. </p>
<p>at this point, I would do a spread sheet of the FL schools compared to Auburn. </p>
<p>If you already prepaid her tuition long ago then it seems that it has been well settled where she would go to school. Seems a bit unreasonable for anyone in the family to support a decision to throw that money away and pay an additional $40,000 per year for a “beautiful campus and a football team.” </p>
<p>Kids are usually pretty good about accepting a decision when both parents are strongly aligned. They know there is no other choice. I would take your wife out to a nice dinner and have a chat.</p>
<p>If she hasn’t already, make sure she does an overnight at any instate schools she applies to. A visit may change her mind about how desirable the instate schools really are. And overnights are usually fun. </p>
<p>I think it’s South Dakota that has the low cost OOS school.</p>
<p>Anyway…don’t worry that she’s only 18…so is everyone else who goes to college across the county. If she can’t handle it, she can transfer someplace else…she’s not giving up aid or merit.</p>
<p>How much do you get from your prepaid if she goes OOS? </p>
<p>""throw that money away “”
@HarvestMoon1 The money isn’t thrown away. The family would be given a certain amount…see below</p>
<p>The OP needs to tell us how much the prepaid pays out for a non FL school.</p>
<p>edit: according to the Florida Prepaid website:</p>
<p>“While prepaid plans are designed to be used at a Florida College or State University, the amount covered by the plan can also be applied at other schools nationwide.”</p>
<p>So, if the prepaid pays $8k per year for a FL public, it would pay $8k per year towards another school. So, a school like South Dakota would be affordable.</p>
<p>Regarding what Florida Prepaid will pay at other schools, yes, I have looked into this, but its not a huge amount of money. For example, Florida now has a “tuition differential” program that is a separate charge to increase the cost of tuition . . bringing it more in line with other out of state public universities. We don’t pay that differential because we have the Florida Prepaid before 2007… so Prepaid this Fall Semester for another child attending a public university paid a total of $2080.00, that covers her tuition and most fees for 13 credits. I suppose that means it will pay a total this year for my other daughter of $4000.00 and some dollars, despite the fact the published tuition is about $6300 for the year. When our other daughter started, Prepaid also covered her cost of a dorm for her Freshman year. If we go to a private or out of state school, I believe it pays the amount it would have paid had we attended the “average” Florida University. So of course it helps . . . but it sure is easier to not have to worrier about writing a check for tuition and fees. Cost of Living? Well we have to pay for her food anyway. Cost of residential living? . . . that we can easily handle . . . even with two in college at the same time.</p>
<p>I hate to say this, but I am looking at this from a practical point of view. The Florida Public Universities are all decent schools. There is no indication my kids want to go to graduate or professional schools, but if they did, they can get there from the Florida schools if they do well. If not . . . who knows where they will end up. All I know for sure is they do not want to be doctors or lawyers and I have no problem with that. They did not do well enough in HS to even consider elite schools, and I am fine with that also. That was their choice. So if they end up going to a decent undergrad, learning some stuff, maybe some critical thinking skills, getting a degree in a field they are interested in, and still had the college experience (my oldest is in a Sorority) . . . then I am happy. I don’t see how my youngest will be any better off going out of state to Auburn . . . where it will cost me an additional 40K for just the first year. I suppose if a school out there really intrigued them and they had a reason for wanting to go there (say Flagler because it is smaller), or had some major they were really interested in . . . that would be different. I would spring for that. But springing just so they can go out of state to be out of state . . . well they have their whole lives to live out out state. And myself being a graduate of a public flagship . . I just don’t see where the classroom experience will be very different from one school to another once you get out of the very top schools.</p>
<p>@HarvestMoon1,
Re: "pay an additional $40,000 per year for a “beautiful campus and a football team.”</p>
<p>We did exactly that (we purchased the prepaid public college plan for our state when our child was very young) except that it was not for a beautiful campus and a football team. – The campus is beautiful though and I heard the tailgate, but not the game, is fun for young college students :)</p>
<p>You can say there are some “fools” as far as the finance is concerned.</p>
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<p>i think HarvestMoon1 nailed it. If you and your wife aren’t together on the college issue, your daughter will use this to get her way. I agree - you should take your wife out and figure out what you both want for your daughter. If you both say, in-state only then that’s what it is. I vote for a family meeting with you, your wife and your daughter. Talk about the finances. Say $40K+ (tuition and other costs will go up every year) a year is just not feasible.</p>
<p>There is absolutely no reason to visit universities you know you can’t afford and that your child will not get any aid, need-based or merit. </p>