<p>Yes, my D freaked out as well. She was okay until the email came saying the results would be out the next day at 6, and then she really lost it. My older D was adament not to let herself fall in love with any school (she didn’t even want to visit) until after she got in, and that had its own issues. My younger quickly identified a dream school and then got totally invested. Not sure which is worse, we were so happy when she got in.</p>
<p>The last couple of years have been full of acceptances and rejections, wins and losses for my daughter. I am hoping her experiences have prepared her for whatever may come next Tuesday. </p>
<p>I try to remember the words of Rudyard Kipling in the poem “If”</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Senior year of high school was the greatest emotional roller coaster of any year in my children’s life. Anxiety about where to apply, stress over essays and applications in general, relief when apps are done, anxiety of waiting (some of the worst stress, IMO), pain of rejection and joys of acceptance, parental and teacher frustration over ‘senioritis’ once they have selected a college, nostalgia over “the last time as seniors we will do…”, anxiety/joy/ambivalence about leaving school/home when the reality starts to hit them, (parents, too), the bittersweet of graduation with the successes and the nostalgia of leaving friends that one grew up with. I cannot think of another year that has as much emotion. My daughter has graduated college (2008) and son is a sophomore now. It was similar for both. </p>
<p>At my daughter’s COLLEGE graduation dinner, I told the story of the day she found out about her acceptance to a highly selective college via ED in December. She went to her computer while I was trying to ‘play it cool’ in the den. She had been obsessively checking the website just in case they were going to let her know earlier than Dec 15(they didn’t). After her part time job was done on Dec 15, she went on line. What she saw appeared to be the same welcome screen as she was used to seeing for days “Welcome XXX” but it suddenly had new hyperlinks on the right side of the page. Curious about these links, she spent ten minutes clicking on them-one about housing, one about financial aid, one about majors/advising… I said it was ten minutes for for me trying to be patient, it felt like a year. I kept listening for some sign–good or bad. Nothing. Silence. Finally, after checking all the links she got back to the sign on page. It was then that she realized that it did not say, “Welcome XXX” but “CONGRATULATIONS XXX” She let out a scream!! I knew she got in. A moment in her life that I will never forget.</p>
<p>Michigan rolling admissions are fantastic. My D got in OOS last year in Nov. She then knew that was her “worst Case” scenerio. LOL! What a great “worst case”. Really took the pressure off when she got her Cornell deferral. </p>
<p>The worst thing was that all her friends were CONVINCED she would get into Cornell ED. They told her, oh don’t worry, you are in for sure. That makes it very hard to go to school the next day. She had said she would wear her Cornell shirt to school if she got in. Since she was deferred she took some masking tape and made a big question mark under the word Cornell on her shirt. It was funny and deminished the sting.</p>
<p>I’m the one who’s more anxious around here than my son. That’s just his nature, but the pot of angst is at school, and on FB, and it’s bubbling over. My H reminds me he’ll be fine wherever he goes, and while my son’s heart is getting into his 1st choice, he’ll succeed regardless.</p>
<p>I remember last year, and going through this with another son. We were absolutely convinced he’d never in a million years get in, so we kept talking up some wonderful LACs. I was in complete shock when he called to tell me the news.</p>
<p>Please be sure to let us know what happens. As I write this (almost noon), I picture you pacing in circles for the next 5 hours. I hope you can keep distracted!</p>
<p>DS applied ED and knows that they’re slowly sending out acceptances. He’s handling it so well - keeping busy w/an upcoming concert and winter ec’s. I’m the one freaking out but DH and I agreed to not bring it up to stress him out</p>
<p>Hang in there, folks. It’s a rare kid , indeed, that doesn’t learn about this type of rejection at some point. Whether it be high school, UG, grad or pro school, internships, or job - it’s coming to virtually all of them . Our job is to make help them (if the opportunity presents) to realistically gauge the possibilities and (if the opportunity presents) help identify some plan B’s. </p>
<p>My data point didn’t experience much disappointment in the UG process so she’s having the opportunity to learn “valuable life lessons” in the med school app process. I’m sure there are more “valuable life lessons” coming her way as she lives her chosen life. But , if you don’t ever try, you don’t ever do. Do ya? IMO the cure for this disappointing affliction is far worse than the disease.</p>
<p>Just let them vent…and be ready with the hugs .</p>
<p>Yes! My normally calm, centered child has become a complete mess while awaiting the results of her ED application. She can’t sleep and is having a very hard time focusing on her school assignments. I’ve never seen her like this before! And, to add to the stress, her ED school sends results by snail mail. Everyday she thinks “this could be the day” and everyday she is disappointed.</p>
<p>We decided to let her apply ED only because it was her clear first choice, with several other schools tied for a distant second. And yes, any of those schools will be good, maybe even better in some ways but she certainly can’t see that now. If she gets deferred or rejected it will take a few days of licking her wounds before she will be in the right frame of mind to tackle the remaining apps. In the end, I suspect she will be resilient like OldFort’s daughter, determined to get into every other school on her list.</p>
<p>But as the wise Curmudgeon says (thank you, Curm, for chiming in on this thread), it is definitely better to risk being disappointed than not to ever try.</p>
<p>I know what you mean about senior year. And here I thought junior year would be the worst-- her ED school does not email or have any online resource to find out-- we have to wait until they mail the decisions-- ‘postmarked’ on the 15th-- Cornell posted on their site that people would find out earlier than planned-- nice for them! In another week this should be all over–if we live that long!</p>
<p>To post a gross over-generalization: Girls freak out; guys hold it all in. Exhibit A: My son, who was cool as can be on the outside. Inside, his stomach was in knots. After he got his ED acceptance, there was no hopping up and down “squeeeee” moment. Occasionally, I wasn’t even sure he still wanted to attend his first choice college. A few very late-night conversations prompted by a few very insightful threads from other CC parents finally laid it all out – throughout the process, he was every bit as excited, nervous, jittery, emotional as any daughter mentioned on this thread. After the acceptance, he had all the usual worries: Will I fit in, will I measure up, am I really good enough for that college, how will I handle living on my own and being responsible for myself? He was just processing his emotions internally and wasn’t ready to share them until he’d figured them all out for himself.</p>
<p>If your son seems overly “cool” about the process, please keep this in mind. It could save you a lot of worry later on!</p>
<p>Lots of angst at my DD’s high school now, particularly for the high-achieving kids. I do feel they suffer more acutely during the college admission’s process since they have more pressure to get accepted at very competitive schools than the B/C kids do. My DD is friends with kids from both groups. All her 4.0 buddies are losing sleep and crying. Her 2.0-3.0 buddies have been accepted at rolling admissions schools and are relaxing. (My daughter is in the 2.0-3.0 group and has been accepted to 3 rolling admissions schools and is busy planning what movies she will see during Xmas break.)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I fiind that infinitely sad. We hear everyday about kids having a nervous breakdown when they get to college. Something is not “right” that kids should be so full of anxiety that they are loosing sleep and crying. Not healthy at all.</p>
<p>I AM a college hopeful, and I am a wreck.
Big Wellesley decision tomorrow, and my lackluster SAT scores have caused me to pace and panic.</p>
<p>I wish I could calm down, but all my other friends have already gotten accepted rolling admission and are just enjoying themselves.</p>
<p>DD is anxious but not panicked, and certainly not losing sleep though there have been perhaps a few more emotional outbursts over unrelated matters these last few weeks as the tension builds. She knows she’s statistically a good match for her ED school, a highly selective LAC, but their acceptance rate is low even on ED. We’ve talked about it and agreed that if she’s not accepted it doesn’t mean they deem her unqualified, but only a judgment by the school that she’s not a good “fit” for the class they’re trying to assemble. She also has a good back-up plan; if she’s rejected ED, she still has time to apply ED II to her second choice LAC, also a very good school but somewhat less selective, where we rate her chances of admission to be quite high. That’s not to say there won’t be tears of joy or tears of disappointment when the big news finally arrives, but for now she’s keeping a fairly even keel. The positive dividend is that she seems to be even more focused than usual on nailing her first-semester classes in case there’s another round of college apps to submit after D-Day.</p>
<p>Anyone have any news yet?</p>
<p>S2 has received an acceptance from a safety he really likes and has not shown any anxiety at all. Apps have gone smoothly, applying to some matches and reaches as planned, but taking it all in stride. I am a very grateful dad.</p>
<p>Folks, get a grip. Get a life. This is mass hysteria brought on by helicopter parents and tolerating (even seeking) a school atmosphere where the name brand of the college is important. </p>
<p>Remember the history class on tulipmania? How about the Power Ranger craze? Mutant Ninja Turtles? People can turn themselves and their children into raving lunatics. </p>
<p>Parents would do SO much better if they said, at the start of the college process, “You are about to begin a journey. We have no way of knowing if it will be smooth or bumpy. We have no way of knowing if it will be fair or happy. We do know that there will be opportunities for you to build character and show grace and kindness or choose to be a complete whiney, self absorbed brat. We love you and will be in your corner. Even on those moments that the brat side wins out, we will still love you and be in your corner. Whatever bumper sticker you send home from college is the one we will proudly display because, you, dear child, will be a blessing to that institution and we want the world to know that it’s one hell of a smart and wonderful place to be.”</p>
<p>Don’t respond to peer pressure. BE peer pressure. Get off the damn sofa, throw away the tissue box and LEAD a life worth living.</p>
<p>Well, I started this thread, so maybe I’ll update. D got rejected by Columbia. (2220 SAT, 4.6 GPA, two 800s on SATII, double legacy). I mean, flat out rejected, not even deferred, not like that would really make a difference, but it would have been a bit gentler as a let-down. We began with disbelief then moved on to tears. I just spent 3 hours trying to console hysterically crying D who felt this was the perfect school for her. To make matters worse, her good friend got accepted. She’s trying to be happy for him, or at least offering congratulations but it’s hard for her to get the txt message out between sobs. She feels humiliated and doesn’t want to go to school tomorrow. (tho she IS going…) Crap. I feel like someone died. And now she still has all the regular decision aps to get out because stupid Columbia doesn’t use the Common App. I sure was hoping this would be over. And the “why?” part will never be answered. Just not what they were looking for at that moment. Sucks. </p>
<p>I do in fact know she will go to a good school, but it still is painful. </p>
<p>Time for bed. This has been exhausting.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for her grief. I have posted this in previous years and it seemed to help a couple of young women, so here goes for your girl:</p>
<p>Years ago I was engaged to be married. Had the dress, the flowers, the cake . . .and relatives arriving by the boatload for the big day. The groom called and . . . canceled.
I cried for three days. I never knew a person could produce so many tears.
I finally go tired of not being able to breathe through my nose so I finally got out of bed. </p>
<p>Went back to work. Eventually went to graduate school. Met a tall, handsome, adventurous man working on his PhD. Nicest man in the world. Married him. Had a bad accident, but he was terrific as I recovered. Traveled, lived on a tropical island, had babies and hubby is still just the nicest, smartest, most amazing man. </p>
<p>So, Husband 1.0 was a tremendous upgrade over Fiancee 1.0. All those tears I cried? Wow, I think I would have cried a thousand times more if I had gone down that first path. At the time I thought Fiancee 1.0 was the perfect guy for me. I had no idea how much more was out there. </p>
<p>Columbia lost an opportunity to have a loyal and excited student. Columbia lost this week. Not your daughter. She should go to school and hold her head high. (It was hard for me to meet my boat load of relatives with no wedding happening, but I took a deep breath and did it and we went on to have a really, really nice party anyway).
Good luck!</p>
<p>I’m wondering what these schools are thinking outright rejecting a double legacy in range. Talk about killing off alumni support and networks. Deferrals don’t hurt them in the least.</p>
<p>So sorry for your DD and family!</p>