<p>According to CC, Asian American parents are Academic Performance Cult fascists who raise their kids with an iron fist and demand straight A's and every Honors/AP class known to the human race plus a few more. (I say that this is a stereotype. After all, many people in Idaho own guns but most aren't militia kooks. Not all Caucasians in the South wave Confederate flags and wear white-hooded outfits. And not everyone in Iowa raises hogs.) What are you all trying to do, convince me that my parents were born in outer space and not China?</p>
<p>Is the hardcore Academic Performance Cult worship so universal among Asian American families? There were plenty of times my parents (usually my mother) criticized me, but I can't remember any of the criticisms EVER being about grades, not even the time I got a D in gym in 3rd grade or my then-lowest GPAs ever in junior high school (3.0-3.6 in all but one quarter). They were always proud of my academic performance. They didn't even doubt me as an undergraduate student, when I developed a very blatantly shoddy attitude towards my studies. In fact, I was disappointed by their nonchalant attitude because I was in a rebellious mood for the first time ever in my life. (I'm surprised I graduated with my BSEE at UIUC with a GPA of 4.13 on a 5-point scale.)</p>
<p>Some background:
1. I graduated from high school 14 years ago. My parents were born in the 1930s in mainland China and left in the late 1940s. My father went to school in Taiwan and then in the USA. My mother moved to Hong Kong, then Australia, and then the USA.
2. I grew up in southwest suburban Chicago, where there were very few Asian Americans. Was my experience different because I was cut off from the mainstream Asian American culture during my day-to-day life? I know that Asian Americans are a much more significant percentage of the population in the major metropolitan areas of California and the east coast. For all I know, the average Asian American who grew up in Arkansas only earned a C+ GPA, but Asian Americans in Arkansas aren't a significant percentage of any population and would thus be invisible in any survey or study.
3. I was the youngest of three, and I earned better grades than my older siblings (brother is 7 years older, sister is 10 years older). Maybe my parents were older and mellower by the time I reached school age, or maybe their expectations were based on my older siblings.</p>
<p>If I ever have kids and shove the Academic Performance Kool-Aid down their throats, PLEASE call the DCFS to take my kids away and send me on a hunting trip with Darth Cheney.</p>
<p>i think what mostly has to do with the APC is the fact that most Asian parents are immigrants. They worked hard (or had tons of luck) to get to where they are today. In their mind, I guess they want to reap their rewards. "I gave these kids the best life they could, and they could at least repay me with a 2400 SAT / 4.5 GPA" </p>
<p>And also, which is true for lots of parents, not just asians, the generation gap comes into play. Most parents think that they way they were raised is the way they should raise their children. No one takes into any account that society has changed dramatically since they were young, and therefore parenting has to change with it. For example, growing up in the 50s any child could go out and play in the streets till its too dark to see, and parents would be fine with it. But now with heightened crime and such these days, parenting had to adjust and get a little stricter.</p>
<p>I have Asian parents, and I'm blessed that they're supportive in whatever I get. In the 8th grade, I had straight Cs in math till the last quarter. I cried when I got the report card. But my parents just said "just try harder and if that's your best, then be happy."</p>
<p>My mother and I had a talk about why she was lax when it comes to my grades or academics. I've known people in life who got straight As and were amazing students, but they didn't succeed in life. And I've known people who didn't do that well in school but have made something out of themselves. You're going to forget what you got on those tests you studied so hard for in 10, 15 years. What you'll remember are your relationships you formed with your teachers and peers, which is more important than anything."</p>
<p>Those words will stick with me forever. I think about that when I get stressed out with school and stuff. I'm definitely going to be the same for my kids.</p>
<p>
[quote]
In their mind, I guess they want to reap their rewards. "I gave these kids the best life they could, and they could at least repay me with a 2400 SAT / 4.5 GPA"
<p>the reap the awards thing might be true for the chinese culture in general. Eastern family traditions always held parents in a high regard and generally couples had children in hopes that they would be cared for when they're at an old age--in that sense they believe there's a certain degree of obligation.</p>
<p>Haha BUT i was raised completely away from that asian immigrant culture--my parents came here when they were like 20 for their doctorates and know not to impose some superficial mold onto me.</p>
I've known people in life who got straight As and were amazing students, but they didn't succeed in life.
[quote]
Thats not true, if you are really smart, you can become anything you want and make money, like lawyers and doctors.... They make much more money than the average joe!</p>
I've known people in life who got straight As and were amazing students, but they didn't succeed in life.
Thats not true, if you are really smart, you can become anything you want and make money, like lawyers and doctors.... They make much more money than the average joe!
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Just because you're smart doesn't mean you'll have a job that pays a lot of money.</p>
<p>And just because you have a job that pays a lot of money doesn't mean you've suceeded at life.</p>
<p>my parents fit that stereotype perfectly. i'm sure if i didn't have straight A's theyd go charging up to my school and demand a talk with my teacher. lol.</p>
<p>My parents never stress me about my grades, but then again I don't think they care much anymore. I think they used to, but now I feel like they have been influenced by their friends' stupid kids who don't care about school and are satisfied with community college and play basketball all day.</p>
<p>Personally, I would like to have some hardcore asian parents breathing down my neck each time I got an A-. It would have motivated me a lot more to do sports, ECs, take more challenging courses.</p>
<p>One of the most important lessons you can learn from is failure. People don't like people who have never failed. You know why? Because they break down the first time they do. Don't kid yourself. Life isn't going to be as easy as getting straight A's in HS.</p>
<p>
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For all I know, the average Asian American who grew up in Arkansas only earned a C+ GPA, but Asian Americans in Arkansas aren't a significant percentage of any population and would thus be invisible in any survey or study.
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</p>
<p>The few asians here are generally top performers too. (Of course, there are a few of those few asians who aren't.....)</p>
<p>I'd like to note that Warren Buffet went to Columbia and Wharton in addition to University of Nebraska. Bill Gates had a 1590 on the SATs. According to Wikipedia, Gates went to a Seattle prep school that was more expensive than Harvard. Paul Allen had a 1600. Sun Micro CEO Scott McNealy had a 1420. Pretty good considering this was back in the day before CB recentered the scores.</p>