Asians and Dating

<p>my first boyfriend and i were really serious - i broke up with him after 6 months. my current boyfriend and I are celebrating our 4 months this month. i don't understand what you mean that most asian relationships here are immature. can you explain that?</p>

<p>I mean immature as in the kind of relationship that a young kid would have. Like never really going on dates, but saying you were bf and gf. And just mutually liking each other and saying you were together when you really weren't. And hugging each other and thinking it's the most amazing thing in the world. I had to listen to how amazing it was when they hugged from like 3 different asian people, including the girl herself. It just seems really weird to me...</p>

<p>doesn't seem to me like they're too concerned about actually becoming bf and gf.</p>

<p>The conservative and more traditional chinese families usually assert a lot of power over their kids. In fact, I come from such a family, although my parents did not assert their power. They raised me to be more independent as my high school years went on.</p>

<p>Usually, the conservative parents won't let their kids date until what... college? In some cases, grad school, something ridiculous like that. Oh, and they also tend to want their kids to date other pure Chinese.</p>

<p>I've only dated white girls in my entire life (I'm chinese), and every single time I pick up a new one (or in one case the girl picked me up, lol), my family has always implied that they want pure chinese grandkids.</p>

<p>LOL, I wish a Race Draft existed today like in the Chappelle Show.</p>

<p>
[quote]
At my school most of the Asian kids are second generation or first generation. Its an anomaly to see Asian+other races or Indian+other races. The sad thing is this is in NYC.
Interestingly, I have never dated anyone from my race EVER (indian).And I moved to this country four years back.

[/quote]

that's part of the reason I love NYC.
Around here you'd rarely see two kids of the same race (with the exception of whites) dating. I'm not exactly sure why, it may simply be because of the general lack of minorities, but I'm not sure.
If I were to date an Indian guy especially at my school, I would get weird looks or "Aawww...that is SO cute!"s from people as if it's something different from any other relationship.
In NYC, there's such a vast population of all minorities that it wouldn't be strange to date someone of the same race; at the same time, it wouldn't be looked at as weird to date interracially either...</p>

<p>o_____o;;;;;;</p>

<p>Yes, the Asians in my school are like... Especially this particular girl. She went out with this white guy because she "wanted something different" and the next week they were broken up. He lied to her and said he was grounded so he wouldn't have to talk to her and she found out. lol Then, one of her good friends broke up with her long-time boyfriend and the next day the girl was all over him... Needles to say, they aren't friends anymore. :)</p>

<p>heheheh, i also live in NYC (i'm a hispanic girl curently dating a chinese guy). i dunno, i see a lot of same-race couples too though. <em>shrug</em> everyone's different..</p>

<p>My mom won't let me date till college. She says you need a degree and a job under your belt before you date.</p>

<p>I just heard something that would be a nice addition here. One of my closest friends (he's chinese) told me and everyone else that he was in China. Other people also told me he was in China. It turns out that he was actually locked up in his house. He told everyone he was going to China because he wanted a break from his Chinese girlfriend for two weeks. He called her and pretended he was using calling cards from China. Is that messed up or what?</p>

<p>haha; dat guy sounds like a chump</p>

<p>segar_indurkyah: THat's absurd, your parents are old skool, i find your parents decision ridiculous; if you date until college, it will be too late to "hook up" with people. Other than that; you'll live and die alone.</p>

<p>lol my dad told me and my brother we couldn't date until after college. haha. even so, i've had a couple boyfriends and i don't even know the number of girlfriends my brother has had. lol. we're Chinese btw</p>

<p>Well... we have this universal thing in our grade. You can either follow the "eastern" way, or the "western" way. The eastern way is where you just go with the flow. You don't have to talk everything out, but your just "together". And the western way is you say it, and it's clear. I suppose the one in the example is that both of them are thinking the eastern way.</p>

<p>LOL atomicfusion!! What a funny guy!</p>

<p>there is this chinese girl (who is kinda like my friend i guess) and this korean guy. They are very flirtatious with each other and it's totally obvious that they both like each other.
And so I asked the girl, May, 'are you and Paul (the guy) together?' and she said 'No way!'
And i asked why. and she said, 'because... it's just.. we both know that we like each other but we decided that we won't go further on'
And I was like "wth?" and she said, "it's because our culture clashes". and I was like "..............."</p>

<p>You usually don't see interracial dating here.. like whites and asians.. only very very few.. indians and asians..even fewer....
but korean and chinese.. that's not a major culture clash... geeeez</p>

<p>hmm....well, my own parents have said something along the lines of "you cant date until you've almost graduated college..." and thats gotten to be notorious among my circle of friends. ive had several (white) guys interested in me, but it seems like they're intimidated, either by me or by my rather strict freedom. so, as of yet, i havent had a b/f. just guys who've liked me, but never asked me out. :-/</p>

<p>and to thesloc: im thinking and hoping you were kidding when you said that asian girls fall for guys who play RPG and final fantasy and stuff. i personally am turned off by that because I'd rather have a guy who will watch movies, play sports with me, etc. And I'm first generation here. And as for white guys and asian girls dating, there are tons here in South Florida. Then again, it IS Florida. lol</p>

<p>LMAO at these comments. Im also rofl about that chinese guy story hahahaha. But in all nature of seriousness, my rentz are strict too about dating. No dating till college (***?) Needless to say ive had a few "secret" relationships, it gets too hard to maintain, especially with nosy asian rentz :(.</p>

<p>damitssam: i was thinking about "secret relationships"' also, but i figured that they wouldnt work out for me and my strange situation. (my parents basically dont let me go out with ppl a lot because they're afraid im gonna get kidnapped or something or other). </p>

<p>i dont know how much a guy is willing to have a "secret" relationship anyway. though in theory it does sound kinda fun ;)</p>

<p>there aren't many asians in my school, so i'm not friends with a lot of them. but i definitely don't think that i'm shy. the non-asian guys that i went out with were more spontaneous and carefree than the asian guy that i dated, so i had more fun :-).</p>

<p>ladyinred: i agree with you. for the most part, i think guys are intimated by smart girls. it may not be the case on this site though.</p>

<p>yes, guys ARE intimidated by smart girls..one of my friends said that may be why most guys that like me never ask me out :-/</p>