<p>So, Yale requires an additional essay. And I was thinking about revamping a government assignment I had this quarter--we were challenged to develop a political party and come up with a seven-facet platform. I created a rather unique set of ideas, focusing on my personal aspirations and how I think my beliefs/regimes would benefit America. This is not an experience that influenced my life, nor is it emphasizing a particular extracurricular or anything like that...this is my views, my take on the problems in the USA. I am applying as a potential econ/poli.sci major/minor combo or double major...do you think this would be a good submission? </p>
<p>It does tell about me, but its not a conventional essay topic.</p>
<p>As succesful Yale applicants, I trust that your advice is significant and would truly appreciate any comments...</p>
<p>Try and think of this essay as less of a place to highlight your intellectual strength - this is what you have already done with every other component of the application - but as the one space where you can spread out and talk about yourself, in your own voice, through some anecdote, experience, activity, what have you. </p>
<p>It could be the coolest platform idea the world has ever seen put in 500 words, but if it doesn't reveal much about YOU, it's just not the right topic for this particular essay. You risk coming off two-dimensional and pretentious - whereas the point is for you to help the committee see you in their mind's eye as the living, breathing, unique person you are.</p>
<p>It sounds like a presidential manifesto. I don't think it would be a good idea for other colleges; but for a political college like Yale, it sounds ok.</p>
<p>ok, so one person says its not a great idea...the other says its ok. Any more comments?? Basically its the 7 things I think the country should focus on. I figure it reveals information about me because it shows what I hold most important.</p>
<p>I think it really depends how it is written. If it comes off as some dry political/intellectual exercise, then it won't work, no matter how good the ideas might seem if presented in a politics class. If, however, you are able to refocus it sufficiently that it shows very clearly how you have come to your ideas, based on your own experiences and values, then it might be OK. It's not impossible to write a quirky, revealing, 'if I ruled the world' type essay. </p>
<p>What is important is that you do the work to show why this topic is relevant and useful in learning more about you and making a decision on your application, you can't expect the adcom to read between the lines to try to turn your intellectual exercise on how the country could improve into something else.</p>
<p>I would advise that you have people you know read it. Can they immediately see in it the want2bIvy that they know? Does your voice shout from the page? Do they learn about you and your life, or do they learn about abstract political ideas?</p>
<p>The best essays are ones that say "this is me" not "this is what I know"</p>
<p>Your transcript and scores should already scream "I'm really smart". While reading this second essay, what qualities about you would a reader write in the margin? If you've already given the reader evidence for 5-10 adjectives describing you in the first essay, maybe you can get away with a treatise in the second one. If the words that truly describe you can't be derived from the first essay, the second one should be used to round out the picture of you. </p>
<p>My d had a GC from another school, whom she had never met, read her essays (for Yale). This was his advice and she adjusted her essays accordingly. I'll let you know how it turns out. She's EA.</p>