<p>I've been reading a lot and have learned so much from all of you. We are from Colorado. My daughter is a senior in high school. How does a Mom help in the midst of such a stressful time? NYU artisitic review Wed 1/20 and Juilliard 1/22. How can I help without adding to her anxiety? Its just she and I going to NYC for the week. Thanks.</p>
<p>You can support her. Listen to her monologues (and songs?). One piece of advice I got from an acting teacher that helped me a lot is to “have one or two people watch your monologues right before your audition and say nothing but ‘you’re fantastic’. This will get your confidence up and give you conviction.”</p>
<p>Just be there for her.</p>
<p>I agree with musicalstudent. I’m a high school senior preparing for upcoming auditions so I know first-hand that auditions and preparations can be very nerve-wracking and stressful. So, it’s always helpful to have as many supporters as you can. In a couple weeks, I’m traveling with my dad to NYC and Pittsburgh for three auditions, and, as an auditioning student, it’s comforting to know that someone on who I can rely will be there to support me for that week. </p>
<p>So, to add to musicalstudent’s great advice, I would say to do everything you can to make your daughter comfortable. Audition week(s) are about the students, and, from a student’s perspective, it’s amazingly stressful and anything my dad could do to ease my nerves would be highly appreciated. Things like arriving at the audition sites early, being woken up with enough time for breakfast, watching my monologues, etc.</p>
<p>Also, it’s kinda off-topic, but I’m auditioning at Juilliard the same day your daughter is!</p>
<p>I have some pictures of my D onstage through the years–I’ve kept the best ones, that really show her energy and spirit-- when she was set for a harrowing audition a while back (not for college yet), I took them out and went through them with her to remind her what she can do. It really seemed to help. </p>
<p>I think I might also keep a list of successful actors who don’t come from top acting schools-- to remind that this isn’t the be all and end all. And I talk about times when I’ve been totally stressed, to remind her it’s pretty normal. And, to echo what’s been said above-- just keep telling him or her-- you’ve got this material down cold, you’re great at it, now is the time to just perform and enjoy. Break a leg, all!</p>
<p>One major thing that I’m telling everyone who is auditioning this year is to stay in your own “bubble” during the audition day. Last year, I did 16 auditions (12 at unifieds and 4 on campus). There are a lot of people there who are gunning for you to fail and will try and psych you out. I heard more “Oh, I sang the song you’re singing and they didn’t seem to like it” and “You only prepared 2 monologues? My friend said that they wanted 3” than I ever wanted to.</p>
<p>Bring a book, bring an iPod, bring something that will keep you focused on what YOU are doing. It’s always nice to make friendly chat with other auditionees, but you have to remember that the focus of the day is YOU.</p>
<p>One of the things a parent can do to ease stress is to help keep everything organized. My daughter did 6 onsite auditions for musical theatre. I made all the travel arrangements and set up a travel schedule that provided for arrivals the night before so that there was ample time for a good night’s sleep, a relaxed dinner or breakfast and the opportunity to scout out the exact location of the auditions and parking logistics. I also put together a binder for my daughter for each school. She gave me the audition pieces she selected for the school and the head shot she wanted to use and I put together a binder for each school containing her application, essay, info from the school’s website and mailings concerning the audition process and the department as well as her audition materials, copies of her headshots and resume. That way, when we left home for each audition, she just had to grab the binder for the school. The night before departing, I also nonchalantly reviewed with her what she was packing so that she could remind herself of any special clothing needs for the audition or for the climatic region. Just like I pack a first aid kit for family vacations, I also made sure to pack a “vocal first aid kit” with a personal steamer, Netti bottles, Muscinex and various other sundries that a performer grabs for if coming down with a sudden cold or congestion.</p>
<p>The most important thing, however, was to make the traveling and time together a “safe harbor”, a time where she could relax and have the opportunity to escape from being inside her head thinking about auditions. Lots of conversation about current events in her non-performing life, current events in the world, her thoughts on a variety of topics of interest and importance to her, about the town or city we were visiting and things that we could do or see there unrelated to the audition. I tried to make each audition trip a bit of an adventure, a mini vacation exploring a new place we had never visited together. Conversation about life in general, just using the time to connect, listening to her, talking about her hopes and aspirations and at times her apprehensions. Very little conversation about the audition itself, other than a few words of support and encouragement. The audition process is so stressful and h.s. students going through this process are so hyper-focused, that sometimes the best role a parent can play is to provide an escape from all of that in a supportive environment. From a parent’s perspective, traveling to auditions can be a wonderful opportunity to connect with your kid.</p>
<p>Great advice. Thank you.
Safe harbor, support, stress free, organizer, first aid</p>
<p>Perfect</p>
<p>Operationgold7
Exciting to know you’ll be at Juilliard, too.
Where are you traveling from?</p>
<p>I’m coming from LA on the 20th. Maybe I’ll see you at the audition!</p>
<p>I’ll tell my D to look for a lady from LA
We’re from Colorado</p>
<p>Break a leg!</p>
<p>Well, you might want to tell her to look for a young man from LA…Haha.</p>
<p>Break a leg for your daughter as well!</p>
<p>oh sorry
I will</p>
<p>MichaelNKat
I hope your D got into the program of her dreams.
Your post was very thoughtful and complete. Thank you
If I can ask, where did your D apply and where is she now?
So much excitement in the next few months for these young adults. Wow.</p>
<p>daughtersdream, my daughter applied for BFA MT programs at University of the Arts, Syracuse, Ithaca, Emerson and Carnegie Mellon and for a BA at Muhlenberg . She was accepted at 4 of the schools and chose University of the Arts. She is in her junior year and is thrilled with the experience, training and faculty relationships.</p>
<p>We drove to all of her auditions and visitations. Muhlenberg was a day trip, Emerson a 2 night stay and the others a 1 night stay. The time we spent traveling together and visiting the cities and towns provided so many memorable moments. It was a time of so much excitement and opportunity to just enjoy each other’s company. </p>
<p>Best wishes to your daughter to realize joy and gratification in her endeavors this year.</p>
<p>I second Michael’s advice about being the travel agent/concierge for your daughter. My son is now a devotee of John’s Pizzeria of Bleecker Street thanks to our trip to NYC. It’s a good idea to do a little research to find a few places to unwind before/after auditions so your child feels comfortable, happy and special and can focus on something other than the audition for a little while. I recommend tripadvisor and Zagat as two sources of this type of info. As Michael said, make it an adventure – you won’t be sorry.</p>
<p>Thank you, WellMeaningDad.
John’s Pizzeria will be on the list.
The ultimate comfort food for my D.</p>
<p>Here’s something I wrote last fall before all this started in another entry about my hopes for students as they audition:</p>
<p>"The hardest part about auditions is how easy it is to get sucked into the dream. I don’t mean to sound like a negative person. I honestly am not. But many auditors believe it is their job to keep you “up” and encouraged. They tell you how great you are, that you did a good job, that your headshot is beautiful, that you have a great voice. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, students and their parents dissect every single word that comes out of these auditor’s mouths. They compare it to every word spoken to a friend or someone else on CC. And, if the comments are positive, this is (mis)interpreted to mean good news. </p>
<p>And then the skinny envelope may come and feelings are hurt and self doubt creeps in.</p>
<p>Then, there is the opposite experience. The auditor who says nothing, and treats the student like a piece of meat in a cattle call. Little is said. No feeling is obtained, leaving the student feeling cold, and no warm and fuzzy feelings directed toward the school.
And that very school is the one that sends the big fat envelope. Confusion reigns. </p>
<p>The only thing you can know about this process is that it is, to a very large degree, a crap shoot. You have studied. You have taken your tests. If you are wise, you have been coached and prodded and prepped for your auditions. Beyond that, there is little more that you can do than go in there and do your absolute best. You should expect nothing more of yourself, but you should expect nothing from the auditor.</p>
<p>An auditor who compliments and praises you is being kind. They are not guaranteeing you admission. An auditor who ignores you is also being kind. They are not leading you on.</p>
<p>The best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away from each audition with confidence in your heart that you did your very best and knowledge that whatever happens happens and it will be for the best. Walk away and try (I know it is hard) to not think about it. There is nothing more you will be able to do, so there is really no point in dwelling on it."</p>
<p>This applies to Moms as well. The best thing you can do for your kid is not to get too sucked into dissecting every little word that an auditor says. When it is done, its time to move on. What is done is done. </p>
<p>My D and I had a great time, walking through S.F. during the unifieds, getting Chinese food. She says this is what she fondly remembers about the process. </p>
<p>So, pull away from the auditions as much as you can. Help your daughter to relax by letting go…</p>
<p>That would be my advice.</p>
<p>thanks MichaelNKat,
Should be amazing!
Flying to NYC on Sunday 1/17
D is super excited too.</p>
<p>thanks chrissyblu
your advice and insight are excellent</p>
<p>starting to pack for trip tomorrow</p>