<p>OK, being new to this forum and having a d who is a newly (just a few years) diagnosed MT junkie...and wants to pursue it.....I need some guidance on supporting her through the lows. The highs I can manage rather nicely (I think) but the lows...the moments of utter lack of self confidence and fear....the "what if I'm not good enough and I don't get in anywhere and you've wasted all this money on voice lessons and those auditions and everyone at school will talk about me because they announce the college acceptances at school meeting and I won't have ANY" moments. And yes that is a direct quote, pretty much, said in an agonized tone with tears in her eyes....and what do I say that is meaningful and honest? She is way too smart to listen to "You'll do fine...it will be OK....you'll get in somewhere (like that is going to help?!). I know there are experienced parents out there, and older students who have all been here....what did you do? Its much appreciated. I have read for hours on this forum and its wonderful, but I didn't see a thread like this (then again, I did get bleary-eyed more than once). Thank you and a Happy Thanksgiving to all.</p>
<p>Going through the audition process with my D and having talked to many parents who are all in the very same boat, I can only reiderate that it is really important to not forget that "things happen for a reason & whatever is meant to be, will be". All our kids should be applauded for even wanting to pursue this incredibly tough track. When people talk to me about the slim odds of getting into an "ivy league school", I kind of chuckle at this point, because what we are doing is very similar, and possibly even more competitive. It has been said many times before and I am sure you have read this forum back and forth like most of us, there are so many ways to follow your passion. Just make sure that she has some "safeties" built in, that will allow her to feel secure in that she will be going somewhere. Having a number one school and being disappointed about not getting in is probably the scariest way to approach this process. My D's way of dealing with things was to put together a list of 10 schools - including a couple of non-audition schools where she applied early on and was accepted academically through rolling admission or early action - and is at peace knowing "she will be going somewhere". If she has not done that, may be it is something to consider. Hope this helps a bit :) Hang in there & Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours!</p>
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<li>edit - I just realized that your D is a junior, so you still have "plenty of time". One thing I would recommend if at all possible is that your D attend a summer program for rising seniors. It is a great way of meeting people from all over the country and to get a better feeling for where you are talent wise. Some of us live in really small rural areas and our kids are "big fish in a small pond". I think it helps to get a bit of a reality check and a final "yes, I really want to do this" before you and your D head into the audition process. Good luck!</li>
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<p>I think two things will help...first of all being as well prepared as possible makes confidence come from the inside. So have her get as much training as possible, an practice auditioning as much as possible.
The second is to make sure her list of schools contains enough options, of both audition and non-audition fits that she will know going into the process that she will have a great place to go, no matter what the outcome of auditions.</p>
<p>I completely agree with MTgirlsmom. My S, like most artists I know, is all over the page emotionally and confidence-wise. One moment he knows that he will get in to the best programs and the next he is despondent about being completely inadequate and untalented. When his mom and I decided to embrace his career choice, I asked/told him to let me coordinate auditions/school choices/admissions. I forced him to look at good non-audition programs that would provide good training and that would keep him from losing face in case none of the audition BFA/BM programs didnt come through. For us that was Cal State Fullerton-which has a wonderful MT program that you start with an academic acceptance then have to audtion into the BFA program your sophomore year. I then advised him to seek coaches who have had experience with the MT application/audition adventure--who knew the ropes! Their guidance was priceless and they were very honest and often brutal in their assessments and coaching-but they built his confidence by letting him know that he was fully prepared going into the audition season.</p>
<p>A very wise and experienced mom on this list (I wish I could remember her screen name) wrote about this a year or so ago and her basic, very smart message was this: Auditioning is super stressful, and we (parents and guardians) need to be our kids' "soft place to land/fall." It's not our job to give our kids false hope (in any case, they know better than to believe platitudes such as "Oh, sweetie, you are the most talented one out there! You'll get in everywhere; don't worry!") but it is our job not to criticize or micro manage and to bolster their confidence with assurances that no matter what happens (don't say that ...:)) they are loved and valued. We need to remind them that our love and support are unconditional.</p>
<p>Thank you - especially for taking time during this busy season - for your replies. I think I am on the right track with her. We are looking into summer programs and so far my answers (with heart beating madly and tears held in check, I admit) have been around what you all have suggested. Thank you for reminding me about being the "soft place to land" - thats important. I am of course her greatest fan and supporter but I don't think, no, I know that I steer her towards reality. The nonaudition programs suggestion is very helpful - there are a couple on her list now although she wants "more". Jacksdad, thanks for the idea to seek coaches out who have been through the process. I will pursue that. Many thanks again to all.</p>