Still remember my brother in law’s response decades later when we announced our second son’s name-“aah, the colonial theme.” A simple thing like “nice name” would have been more appreciated. It definitely felt like a judgment about our choice at a vulnerable time-having a new baby!
Brother in law was older than us, but had no children yet. When he did have a child in his late 30’s, they named their son William! I congratulated him and said how wonderful the name was.
I know I was being sensitive about this(both sons have classic names), but surprised this is something I still remember years later.
What do you say when you hear a new parent announce a name? Most parents give alot of thought to naming their child. Anything that is either good to say or not good to say?
I was discussing baby names with a pregnant mom (in general, not her choices). I said “I don’t like girl’s names that used to be boys’, like Taylor”. And, when I saw her after the birth, she gave me a piercing look and introduced me to her daughter – Taylor. This was 30 years ago and I still remember how mortified I was. So, no opinions of baby names, ever, is my rule!
I do remember a cousin’s response when we told her my youngest’s name “I guess kids will make fun of him but that’s ok”
I like most names just fine, so it’s very easy for me to be complimentary. I usually say the whole name and my response ranges from “that’s nice.” To “I like that. It sounds nice.” Or “I love that! So pretty”.
But then again I’ve never been faced with some of the awful names H has had to teach that should probably be outlawed. Hermajesty. Really? (That’s one of the better ones)
There’s some people in my extended family that think we named our kids after ancestors on their side. Not at all. I let h come up with a short list of names that he didn’t have any negative associations with from teaching. And I picked from there. Both are pretty typical, though one is super common - but H never taught one! Anyhow, it makes them proud, so we don’t correct them.
That sounds just like me and my sibs! We love talking about baby names, and do categorize them into themes–Colonial, Wild West, old Jewish grandparents, The Sound of Music, Hippies, Old Testament famous, Old Testament obscure, Hollywood Glamour, Norse gods, Beach Blanket Bingo. We for sure would comment (to each other, not to strangers) and we would never mean it in a bad way at all. We even ask each other for help using the categories… like “help give me some ideas for a girl’s name in the Catholic Saints theme.” I love the names of all my nieces and nephews,and my sibs feel the same about my kids’ names.
About 15 years ago we were at a restaurant and the couple next to us had an adorable baby. I said so and asked his name.
“Ralph” the father said, followed by an apologetic “it’s a family name” with a shrug.
I can’t believe he didn’t bleed out on the spot with the daggers his wife was sending his way!
That discussion sounds wonderful for your family. That kind of thing never happened here. We were the first to have children in our generation . And we were in our 30’s. Small families, I only have 4 nieces and nephews, and only through marriage. My only sibling, my sister, never married.
We never had any discussion about names with husband’s siblings when they had their kids down the line. Every family is different. My brother in law is known to be somewhat condescending, I can still hear his tone decades later. Again, I was overly sensitive.
I have an acquaintance who named her daughters Grace and Violet. At the time – ~15 years ago – I was aghast, but they seem to have become fashionable. (The names, not the girls.)
Yes, names come in generations. In elementary school, I was one of three girls in my class of 12 girls to have the same first name. Now, no one names their daughters that name. I expect it will return.
Absolutely. Leo, Theo seem pretty popular these days.
My older son and his wife are in their mid thirties. Lots of their friends have been having babies. Henry, Naomi, Benjamin, etc. I may have made the mistake of telling daughter in law that I liked these names and wasn’t crazy about unisex names. She said she also likes unisex names so I will keep my mouth shut in case they have children. They want children so do hope that happens for them.
Both GD’s names were revealed after birth. I liked that- you immediately attach the name with a wonderful human being. The only thing D did ask is if we had any names that had a very negative feeling to them.
I remember a work colleague who visited a new mom in the hospital and asked what they’d decided to name the baby. She kept a straight face but came back to the office horrified and asked everyone if she should tell them about the unfortunate choice given their surname (it was a name like “Annette Curtain”). Had they done it deliberately or just not realized?
In the end she went back and it turned out they hadn’t realized at all. But by then it was all too late and the name had been put on the birth certificate, so forever after the kid was presumably the butt of jokes about their name.