<p>@fa-la-la-lena
Yes, you probably are judgmental, “persay,” and yes, denial has a lot to do with it. You can pretend like you’re okay with it, but I have a feeling your judgmental personality has and will continue to restrict the amount of fun and the amount of meaningful friendships you can have.</p>
<p>@gotakun: I think you don’t really understand my problem. Looking back at much of your responses…I don’t really seem to get your point. </p>
<p>And I think everyone is judgmental at some point…after all we are human. Its not like I want to hang out with the smart people only (I do know some friends I enjoy being around with a lot who weren’t academic). I just think I’ll fit in better with people who have the same values as I do…academics is one of them.</p>
<p>For the record, I’m not a social reject. I’m cool with everyone in school, but I just can’t connect with anyone…I want to hang out in the mall, go to parties, have sleepovers, talk about politics, etc…I just can’t find that here in my high school.</p>
<p>I just hope this won’t happen again in college. I just hope I’ll have deeper connections with people.</p>
<p>QuantumArbiter, nothing is life is perfect. I advise that you make do with what you have and move on. So what if these people are not as “academic” as you are? What if they don’t like to talk about politics?</p>
<p>It appears that you are applying some narrow-minded assumptions across an entire group of people. There are academic people in your high school, as in any high school. </p>
<p>Going to college isn’t likely to change your life circumstances unless you change. Remember, the easiest person to change in this world is yourself. If you claim to be outgoing, then just toss out that social elitism you have sewn onto your character for so long and make some friends! Be a different person. </p>
<p>Either you can change your perceptions of the people around you, or you can wallow in your personal misery forever. Quite frankly, I don’t think people will care whatever happens to you, but I do recommend doing the former.</p>
<p>I happen to be applying to MIT, Caltech, Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, Yale (a good bit of overlap), 4.0 UW, and have a 2220 SAT, but I definitely can say that I had plenty of friends in high school.</p>
<p>I do find in comparison to college, people in high school talk about a lot of trivial things, and every time I talk to my high school friends (as opposed to friends I met in college courses or this summer) it isn’t quite as intellectually challenging a conversation.</p>
<p>I don’t know why people in high school feel that they need to only talk about certain things, or they group up in ways where you can’t both talk about calculus and have girls in the conversation (I was the one that always had to merge two groups of people and it never ended up with more interesting conversations).</p>
<p>From my experience at college, I do have to say that the way people group up in high school is mostly gone. You can hang out with anyone, and as long as you aren’t really annoying, everyone gets a long. Most of the people in the college you go to will be quite intelligent as well, so I think that you will undoubtedly have a great time in college.</p>
<p>@QuantumArbiter
I guess the word I am really looking for is not judgmental, but prejudiced.</p>
<p>@gotakun: although you may deem me as “judgmental” or prejudiced by my description and “losing out on friendships,” I have not complained about the amount of friends or fun I have (trust me, I have more than enough meaningful relationships with a diverse group of people). I have met extremely judgmental people…and it sounds like you are one by characterizing everyone as such. </p>
<p>To everyone: While making friends/fun is ultimately up to you, the bottom line is that it is significantly harder for the large majority of people to establish meaningful friendships in high school than in college. ANY survey of undergraduates would show that most students prefer college to high school, hands down (particularly for this reason). Even though the OP may be making generalizations about not finding the “group,” my point is that he will very likely find it in college. We’ve all seen the posts of people who “hate college.” If you can’t make friends in high school, that’s one thing…there still can be hope for you in college. It is quite different if you don’t know how to adjust in college.</p>
<p>Is gotakun the only one normal here…? Everyone’s defending QuantumArbiter, and frankly I don’t know why. Just reading his first post, he says “but they’re kinda stupid and don’t care about academics…a lot of people in my high school are.” You’re already ruling people out and narrowing your variety of friends here. You need to OPEN UP to people…you’re the one straying away from everyone else, this is why you’re so lonely. Everyone can connect in some way, whether it’s a stupid youtube video or politics, and if you ignore the whole “they’re stupid and don’t care about academics” part of those type of people, I can assure you they will actually be fun to talk to. You said you like chill people who make sexual jokes and hit on girls, I can assure you right now that MOST GUYS will do that, from any group. What you need to do is change your mentality and ignore the annoying or bad parts of people, and look at the good parts. And plus, what does being academically smart have to do with making friends? The activities you mention don’t really require any academic stuff…sexual jokes, talk about politics (requires political knowledge but again this still has nothing to do with how good you are at math or something), hit on girls?</p>
<p>Edit: If the problem is making friends or talking to people in the first place, then you need to take the initiative and introduce yourself. I’m getting this idea that you’re afraid to socialize with certain groups of people because you’re scared they won’t accept you (“I can’t find anyone like me”). Try talking to people and you’ll realize we all have something in common. Doesn’t mean you have to be best friends with them, but keeping yourself open doesn’t hurt.</p>
<p>Why the hell are people saying “don’t judge” and “make the best of what you have” and “you are the problem”…there are people that he is looking for, just not in his school. They do exist and they would be close to ‘perfect’ friends for him. Most of my better friends attend different schools to me.</p>
<p>I don’t know if community college is actually college, but it come worst than my bad high school life. I wish when i transfer it will be lot better.</p>
<p>bjt223, it’s okay. We are soon to be friends and then we will be friends and then we will rule the world together.</p>
<p>@rexringo people are saying don’t judge because this kid is narrowing his group of friends and therefore narrowing his NETWORK of friends. there are people he is looking for, and if he’s open to EVERYONE, then he will meet more people of his type.</p>
<p>The biggest problem is that people only judge intelligence by Act scores, gpa, college rankings, what classes you take in College, and all of this other meaningless crap.</p>
<p>If any of you are half as intelligent as you think you are you wouldn’t be in an online forum bragging about your scores and about how much you party and/or play video games all weekend long and still get straight A’s.</p>