<p>So they found the body yesterday?</p>
<p>They found a body but haven’t definitively said it’s him.</p>
<p>Crucify me for saying this, but there’s something wrong with this story. </p>
<p>The out gay man who was posting on the message board about whether to try to get a different roommate was not horribly shamed by having been observed kissing another man (and seemed certain that he had not been observed further, although it isn’t clear he would have been that upset if he had been). He had rationally approached his RA about the situation, and gotten a sympathetic response. There was no indication that he felt trapped, bullied, hopeless, exposed, whatever. No hint. It WAS clear, however, that he didn’t trust the college to provide a satisfactory solution, and was looking for a creative way to get back at his roommate – “pour pink paint all over his stuff” – without making the roommate the victim.</p>
<p>Therefore, some part of me thinks – hopes, probably – that Clementi faked his suicide to teach his roommate a lesson, and that we will eventually hear from him again. That WOULD be consistent with the voice of the web-poster . . . and another example of an 18 year-old’s thoughtless response to an offense against his dignity.</p>
<p>Of course I will be terribly sad (and embarrassed) if that isn’t what happened.</p>
<p>Then I guess we will be embarrassed (or on the cross ;)) together for thinking this is at least a possibility, jhs. “Set this thing in motion”? What "thing? A plan? (That entry on the link rattled me just a bit. But, I was keeping my doubts to myself. Color me chicken. 
)</p>
<p>JHS, I really think this boy has passed away. The fact he posted that he doubted the school would help him or solve the problem is an indication that he felt trapped and nowhere to turn.</p>
<p>Further, not sure if you read this in the news, but there were two witnesses who saw a young man jump off the GW Bridge that night. Tyler’s wallet and IDs were found on the bridge as well.</p>
<p>JHS, I don’t think that’s the case.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This. </p>
<p>I am in no way defending the actions of Ravi and Wei. They did a terrible thing. However, they are not uniquely depraved demons. I would venture to say that many of us have done cruel things to others which, because there was no record, went down the memory hole. Now, nothing is ever lost or forgotten.</p>
<p>I had the same though JHS, but reports of the/a body being found I would think make it unlikely</p>
<p>
I think its unlikely. Just private threats of them to the defendants in an attempt to settle. No one is going to want a trial on this matter. </p>
<p>And the tabloids and the authorities are going to be seeking the partner. In an age of electronic records, he’ll be easy to find. </p>
<p>I am struggling to condense the lessons contained in this episode, and am unable to do it in any useful way.</p>
<p>NJSue:
No one I counted as a childhood or adult friend has ever done anything equivalent in effect (for whatever era in question), or they could never have been considered my friend. I’m confident of that. So I don’t know about the “many of us” label. Count me out of that crowd. And I have never understood what could be attractive about including such people in one’s circle of intimates. I guess I’m just a snob about personal morality (not about private morality with private-only consequences, but something that potentially affects the life/reputation of another human being in any public or permanent way).</p>
<p>"I would venture to say that many of us have done cruel things to others which, because there was no record, went down the memory hole. Now, nothing is ever lost or forgotten.
NJSue is online now "</p>
<p>I would be surprised if that were true. I don’t think that most people who are older than young chilren deliberately bully other people. Certainly by the time they get to college, most people have outgrown that kind of destructive behavior.</p>
<p>Well, perhaps it wasn’t directly the video…ing. Perhaps he lost his partner because his partner was so upset? Perhaps. There isn’t only one person involved. I’m sure the other young man has contacted attorneys by now. I certainly hope so.</p>
<p>The other side of this, too, is that in the past where all bullying was secret and unprovable, there is now a trail to follow. While these cyber tragedies are horrendous and awful, at the very least, we can now see that it is true. In the past, someone as vile as Rav or Molly could do these things without being caught. The results could have been the same with everyone walking around, including Rav and Molly, talking about how “disturbed” this young man was.</p>
<p>Not saying it’s not awful, but I’m wondering if the sum total of bullying and suicide from bullying has even changed, or if we are finally getting evidence of what many of us have known for years. FWIW</p>
<p>ellemenope, perhaps when he first found out, he didn’t know what was actually on the video, and it was more graphic than what he originally thought? Just guessing of course.</p>
<p>
Well, that doesn’t make me feel better about the state of humanity. I think what they did was evil. I am rather hoping there aren’t many Dharun Ravi’s or Molly Wei’s out there in the world.</p>
<p>Perhaps he found out later that the video was available for anyone in the world to see.</p>
<p>Northstarmom - I suspect that is exactly what happened. If those online posts are Tyler’s I think he was putting up a brave front and looking for support. My suspicion, like yours, is that he discovered people he knew had viewed far more than he realized. The response he got from the RA would be important - we have no evidence of these aspects, only the almost certain fact that this young man chose to plunge to his death.</p>
<p>Or his partner “blamed” him for the video and broke up with him? There are so many horrible scenarios these two bullies set in motion, it’s difficult to know what it was.</p>
<p>But at least there is evidence, and hopefully prison time for the perpetrators.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I do not agree. It’s true that it is easier to collect evidence in this case. But I don’t think this is a typical type of behavior for most young adults. A Rutgers official who I think is the head of Student Affairs and was interviewed on various newscasts, said in his 30 years of working in college student affairs, he has never seen anything like this.</p>
<p>I am at work (student health – large public U) now, and we have been discussing this tragedy all morning. There is a clear divide between the adults and the students (work-study, pre pharm, pre nursing, pre vet, pre med volunteers, and student interns); in how we view the victim and the actions of the perpetrators.</p>
<p>Also. The moderators need to combine this thread with the one in the Caf</p>
<p>“There is a clear divide between the adults and the students (work-study, pre pharm, pre nursing, pre vet, pre med volunteers, and student interns); in how we view the victim and the actions of the perpetrators.”</p>
<p>What’s the divide? Do the students somehow think it’s normal and acceptable behavior to secretly video someone’s sexual encounters and then to broadcast them over the Internet?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>There’s a world of difference in being observed kissing a romantic partner and in being observed being intimate with a romantic partner.</p>