Based off the SAT 1-12, what would you give this essay?

<p>Prompt: Should people be judged by their potential rather than by their experience and achievements?
Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning
and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<hr>

<p>The capacity to have success and success itself are two completely different things. Many people have the capacity to earn all A’s in high school, from diligent studying, always paying attention to details, and consistently completing homework, yet according to the Pew Research Center, less than a quarter of these high schoolers actually do. Should these two populations be judged equally? Afterall, they both had the capacity. Yet, there is a distinct difference between the two, as one group is hard working and the other is not. As such it would be unfair to judge them equally, as those with the stellar report card deserve to be judged as better, and capacity alone is not enough to actually achieve success.</p>

<p>My friend Deidre always had the potential to do well in school. She was inherently smart, and really could get A’s if she so pleased. Yes she never does, as she never studies; Her potential can not make the grade. Another friend of mine is not as smart as Deidre. She always has to spend time studying, and goes after school constantly to ask the teacher for help. Consequently, she receives good grades. She doesn’t have only the raw intellect that Deidre has, but she has the perseverance to do well. That is the key difference between the two. If school was judged on intellect alone, Deidre they would be judged equally. Thankfully, that is not how the system works. Those who always try to do well should be looked upon more favorably than those who do not.</p>

<p>Another example of the reason those with experience and accomplishments should be judged as better than those with just capacity is that capacity is something one is born with, thus requiring no actual effort. Dilligence and motivation are required to actually get things done and succeed at a high level, and these are the things people should be judging. Who cares if Judy was born with an aptitude for math. If she doesn’t try in math class she is not going to do well. This is especially true for college level math, where brains are not the only thing needed to succeed.</p>

<p>Another point I must make is the tricky question of defining potential. It is not concrete. By seeing said other DO something great or at least something good? Without applying some effort it would be hard to do this. Thus so the process of picking those out who have potential, but not success becomes extremely subjective.
It is easy to see those with success however, as to have success requires both the capacity to do something as well as the dilligence to actually do it. As such people should not be judged solely on their capacity to do something, but instead by their concrete experience and achievements.</p>

<p>Having success and having the capacity to have success are two completely different things. One must not be defined by only one’s capacity, as capacity alone is not enough to actually achieve success.</p>

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<p>Any feedback? Also anybody else?</p>

<p>Bump </p>

<p>This is a good essay, but will likely not receive more than an 8 or a 9. You HAVE to use examples from society/history/literature in each and every one of you paragraphs, with corresponding names and dates.</p>

<p>Why must it include examples from history /society/literature?</p>

<p>I would give this a 9 too. Try to use famous, historical, political, etc. examples. Personal experience is the last resort. This is a really long essay, so I recommend to shorten it down, but still be coherent. If you can fit this essay in a 2 pages of A4 in 25 minutes, that will be great; if not, try to narrow it down around 450 words.</p>

<p>People have fit 575 words before, this is only 500. Also, as I asked @asukumar‌ , I would like to know why you believe it absolutely HAS to include these historical or literary examples? Also, I always hear longer is better? Thanks for the feedback though. Any other input would be lovely </p>

<p>The essay doesn’t have to include historical or literary examples. But what that touches on is that the essay should be more sophisticated–everything about it feels too informal. Having the literary or historical examples would help that. </p>

<p>I had nothing better to do than do some light editing. Your basic writing skills are not that strong. There are also issues of organization. I would say it is an 8.</p>

<p>The capacity to have success and success itself are two completely different things. Many people have the capacity to earn all A’s in high school from diligent studying, always paying attention to details, and consistently completing homework. Yet according to the Pew Research Center, less than a quarter of these high schoolers actually do this. Should these two populations be judged equally? After all, they both have the capacity. Yet, there is a distinct difference between the two, as one group is hard working and the other is not. As such it would be unfair to judge them equally, as those with the stellar report card deserve to be judged as better, and capacity alone is not enough to actually achieve success.</p>

<p>My friend Deidre always had the potential to do well in school. She was inherently smart, and really could get A’s if she so pleased. Yet she never does, as she never studies. Her potential can not make the grades. Another friend of mine is not as smart as Deidre. She always spends time studying, and goes after school constantly to ask the teacher for help. Consequently, she receives good grades. She doesn’t only have the raw intellect that Deidre has, but she has the perseverance to do well. That is the key difference between the two. If school was judged on intellect alone, Deidre they would be judged equally. Thankfully, that is not how the system works. Those who always try to do well should be looked upon more favorably than those who do not.</p>

<p>Another example of the reason those with experience and accomplishments should be judged as better than those with just capacity is that capacity is something one is born with, thus requiring no actual effort. Diligence and motivation are required to actually get things done and succeed at a high level, and these are the things people should be judging. Who cares if Judy was born with an aptitude for math. If she doesn’t try in math class, she is not going to do well. This is especially true for college level math, where brains are not the only thing needed to succeed.</p>

<p>Another point I must make is the tricky question of defining potential. It is not concrete. By seeing another DO something great or at least something good? Without applying some effort, it would be hard to do this. Thus the process of picking those out who have potential, but not success, becomes extremely subjective.
It is easy to see those with success. However, to have success requires both the capacity to do something and the diligence to actually do it. As such, people should not be judged solely on their capacity to do something, but instead on their concrete experience and achievements.</p>

<p>Having success and having the capacity to have success are two completely different things. One must not be defined only by one’s capacity, as capacity alone is not enough to actually achieve success.</p>

<p>Why do you say my basic writing skills are not that strong?</p>

<p>Also any other 1-12 posts?</p>

<p>I just mean that pretty much every sentence could be improved by basic editing.</p>

<p>@sattut Given the 25 minute time constraint, it is very hard to get in basic editing for every single sentence. With regard to this post, I expected that this would be taken into account, as it is on the actual SAT.</p>

<p>@satteacher I agree that lines such as “Another point I must make is the tricky question of defining potential.” and the ‘The capacity to have success and success itself are two completely different things.’ especially the ‘things’ bit are too informal. However, I would argue that having literary or historical examples does not necessarily increase the sophistication of the essay. There has become a sort of cookie cutter approach adopted by SAT hopefuls that I do not think is extremely sophisticated. It does not take a good writer to memorize a format to fit any prompt. </p>

<p>Going off your advice to use literary or historical examples, I am going to assume that you thought my examples were too simple. I would like to point out that the bottom two body paragraphs, the one about how capacity is something one is born with thus requiring no work, and the paragraph regarding the subjectiveness of potential itself, are fairly advanced concepts. </p>

<p>@mandyg233 I didn’t say that having literary or historical examples is the only way to be sophisticated. I didn’t say it guarantees a 12 or the lack thereof prevents a 12. Someone can have literary or historical examples and still not write a very nice essay.</p>

<p>I agree that the thought behind your essay is very sophisticated. I agree as you wrote that your concepts are sophisticated. That’s why I gave it a 9 and not lower. </p>

<p>Thanks for the feedback. Anybody else with 1-12?</p>

<p>9: Your use of language is magnificent and everything seems to flow but you need to use concrete examples. I was able to achieve an 11 on the past test by using two examples of Utilitarianism by Mills and A Few Good Men…I know polar opposites, and I didn’t have nearly as good fluency as you did. </p>

<ol>
<li>Your essay is good but considering the lack of literary and historical examples (which are favorable), I dont think your essay would exceed the score of 10. My suggestion is that if you are too lazy to memorize real examples from literature and history, practice making up examples.</li>
</ol>

<p>I got a 12 recently by using 2 examples from literature (The Veldt, Flowers for Algenon) and a fake example.</p>

<p>@phongtheha *Flowers for Algernon</p>

<p>You get a 7 from me. Your argument is based on the assumption that those of us who have potential or “capacity” are not doing anything about it. In your world, all people with potential are lazy. That’s a broad and incorrect generalization. This prompt is asking you if you should evaluate someone based on what he has already accomplished versus what he may accomplish in the future. You did bring up one good point though: how do we measure potential?</p>

<p>@Czeska Hey, so you totally missed the point of the entire essay.</p>