<p>^ Not being his business doesn’t mean it won’t be an issue. In an ideal world, there’d be no question, but this is the real world, and things like this can be an issue.</p>
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[Why</a> not?](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1061584880-post5.html]Why”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1061584880-post5.html) :D</p>
<p>In all seriousness, the OP does not need to settle for a double standard. Thankfully, most students at my university were raised to have some semblance of courtesy and know this. </p>
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Replace “homophobic” with “egotistical” or “vain.” :p</p>
<p>still, I think the roommate should at least know, I mean if I wasnt gay, then I’d want to know if my roommate was. One thing I do hope is that he doesnt try to hook me up with someone just because I’m gay. I hate that so badly. Gay people are not attracted to ALL gay people.
And just like you wouldn’t start a convo with “Hi, I’m Sierra and I’m straight,” dont do that and say I’m gay. I think you can do whatever you are most comfortable with but I’ll just let him and anyone else that I meet ask me.
And I agree, if you cant bring a guy home, he certainly cannot bring a girl home. It does not work like that.</p>
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<p>Sorry, but once again, that’s not how the world works.</p>
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<p>Naturally the giant frat douschebag will get on people nerves…as will giant douschebags in general.</p>
<p>a friend of mine had a gay roommate this year and they got along fine. sure, they aren’t exactly friends, but it has nothing to do with the other guy being gay. the only issue my friend has ever had with his roommate is the few weekends or so in the fall when the roommate’s boyfriend would come up and they would have sex in the room. but that’s something everyone has to deal with, no matter what their orientation. so, if anything, just respect your roommate and tell him right away that your gay, but don’t make a huge deal out of it. if he wants to be a homophobic jerk and switch rooms because of that, it’s his problem.</p>
<p>Don’t you have facebook? You think after he checked out your profile, and saw “interested in: men” he would have gotten the picture.</p>
<p>I agree with the others who say it’s not a problem as long as you don’t act all Big-gay-Al like. I’m not homophobic or anything but that kind of behavior certainly is very uncomfortable among regular males.</p>
<p>diontechristmas - how DOES the world work then?
If a guy wants to be an ass and bring his girl over without letting me know, then certainly I can do the same.</p>
<p>You shouldn’t have to pick a dorm with a bad location just because your future roommate might not be cool with you being gay. If he isn’t, that’s his problem and he can switch rooms or something. Like everyone said, don’t make it the first thing you tell him. However, tell him in the first day or two, after you have talked some and gotten to know each other. Every gay guy I know has a roommate and I haven’t heard any big horror stories. Who knows, you may get a gay roommate or a really open minded one. There are a lot of people like that in college so you never know. What dorm you live in could make a difference as well. For instance(this may sound stereotypical) at my college one of the dorms is required for all fine arts majors to live there and a lot of the guys I know who live there are gay. On the other hand, one of our greens(we have 3 you can choose to live on) is where everyone on an athletic scholarship lives. The one I live on is where everyone on a academic scholarship lives(the dorm with fine arts students I mentioned is on this green as well) and also a lot of artsy, liberal people tend to live here. If you have a choice of what dorm you can live in, try to talk to someone who goes there and see if you can find a dorm you might feel more comfortable in.</p>
<p>after reading this, i’m really glad i’m going to NYU.</p>
<p>haha I agree :D</p>
<p>I’m an entering freshman and I wouldn’t room with a gay no offense. So before starting college contact your roommate/s and tell em before you guys move in.</p>
<p>Of course, because a gay roommate wants you. Bad.
Or he might spread his gayness all over you.
Or you might have to be mildly tolerant. Horror.</p>
<p>^Haha, well said!</p>
<p>OP: You’ll very likely be okay. Yes, it’s possible you’ll end up rooming with a homophobic feces-nozzle, but it’s also likely in that scenario that if you’ve chosen a reasonably queer-friendly campus, the people in charge of campus residences will be able to help fix the situation. In my experience, gay people are extremely well-represented in student-life jobs (maybe because most of us are so happy to have found acceptance when we get to college that we never want to leave?), so you’ll likely find plenty of allies if you need to report a problem with your living situation. If you’re not sure how gay-awesome your school is, you might want to contact the LGBTQ student group/center or diversity office and ask what the best course of action is if you get a homophobic roommate. </p>
<p>If you’ve been out in high school, you probably already have a decent feel for how you prefer to disclose to new friends/acquaintances. If not, you’ll get the hang of it pretty quickly. I’m a big fan of the casual conversational coming-out with new people who I don’t think will completely flip out. With a roommate, it might be safer to explicitly come out to avoid any misunderstandings (unless you’re getting clear signals he’s going to be totally cool with it), but you can still probably let conversational flow be your guide. At the first natural opportunity (e.g. roommate mentions wanting to check out girls at a party, asks if you think celebrity X is hot, talks about what kind of sexiling policies you should have, asks if you’re dating anyone), go ahead and mention you’re gay. Don’t put up with any double-standards about hooking up in the room, don’t be afraid to assert yourself if your roommate is being an ass, and don’t be afraid to talk to an RA or residence-hall staff if things go badly.</p>
<p>Don’t attack me, but I’m genuinely curious about this.</p>
<p>What happens if you become attracted to him? Wouldn’t it be awkward for you both?</p>
<p>No, I don’t think gay guys are attracted to every guy they see. But just in terms of attraction, wouldn’t your situation be similar to a straight guy rooming with a girl? And I can imagine attraction developing in that case, on the part of the guy.</p>
<p>It can happen. Just not nearly as often as narcissistic homophobes seem to think it does. Ideally in that situation both parties act like adults, the one with the crush realizes it’s a bad idea to crap where they sleep, and life goes on. There’s no possible rooming arrangement that totally eliminates the possibility of sexual tension between roommates (unless gay guys and lesbians all pair up and the bisexual, pansexual, and other queer people are restricted to singles?), but it’s generally not a pressing problem.</p>
<p>If you become attracted to him, then you simply do not do anything about it and move on. That is all you can do. It would be the same if a gay guy were rooming with a straight girl. The girl might become attracted, but she would realize pretty quickly that it is pointless because nothing will ever materialize out of it. lol</p>
<p>If you become attracted to him, just wait till he gets drunk. True, alcohol won’t give you a particularly hard ride, but there are exceptions.</p>
<p>"if a gay guy were rooming with a straight girl. "</p>
<p>Does that happen much? Most of the colleges I looked at don’t allow roommates of opposite genders (except for married couples in apts).</p>
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<p>The difference between a straight guy and a gay guy is a six pack. And I don’t mean abs.</p>