Berkeley...First semester Transfer from So-Cal. Topics: racism/friends/lifestyle

[judayxlo]

<p>This is a very long post. I'm sure you can see the length of it already.
It's almost like a diary entry in the sense that I'm not holding back anything. I'm literally saying everything that's going through my head ATM so please, if I offend anyone, I'm sorry. Just correct me if I'm wrong about anything written here, because this is just what I think based off my experiences.</p>

<hr>

<p>I hope anyone who goes to Berkeley or have attended Berkeley and is kind enough to help me out/read through my grievances, I will be eternally grateful and will bake you an internet cake. :]
You know you want that cake! It's every flavor you love, each bite changing the taste and texture. It's a magical cake, because it's an internet cake, which is not real. :D
But enjoy it anyway. lol.</p>

<p>Sorry if I scared you off, but for those of you who are still remaining, please hear my bitching! :P</p>

<p>I don't know if it's just because life in Nor-Cal is so different from So-Cal, or if I'm just having a hard time because of my lack of friends.
It could even be anxiety from being a science major and feeling inadequate being at Berkeley.
Whatever it is, I'm having difficulty adjusting.</p>

<p>I'm a new Spring 2014 transfer student, majoring in IB.
I'm ridiculously shy around new people, but am pretty extrovert around friends or people who are friendly. I'm also a girl. lol. If you couldn't tell.
(This is beginning to sound like a post on a dating site LOL)</p>

<p>Anyways, the reason I'm on here is just to rant about my experiences and ask if anyone else have had the same experiences. </p>

<p>I feel like it's really difficult for any transfer student, especially in Spring, to find new friends and mingle. Everyone already has their own group of friends, and since I'm only taking 2 classes right now (I didn't want to overdo it in my first semester), it's even harder for me to find anyone. And it doesn't help that I'm not very confident in myself, so whenever people stare at me or look in my general direction, I assume it's because of my negative qualities: being fat, ugly, awkward, asian, etc. Sometimes I feel stupid just walking to class because I get out of breath sometimes and I feel like everyone is judging me. I thought being part of different clubs might help with the friend issue. I've tried looking up the different clubs but I don't know where to go because most of the pages aren't even updated. </p>

<p>I've noticed a lot of people up here are rude, even the ones in the service industry. I mean obviously not everyone's going to be the nicest person in the universe, but back in my city, most people in the service industry (except a few crappy workers) are nice, or try to be. Up here, I've encountered more than a handful of rude employees, and I was very shocked at the way they treated me. I can't help but feel like it has something to do with the fact that I'm not Caucasian or African-American. I had 3 horrible experiences with over the top rude employees, and 2 of them were black. One of those times I was almost beat up because I spoke up about the cashier's rudeness.</p>

<p>Which brings me to my next issue: racism.
Has anyone noticed that up here, everyone is in their own racial cliques?
It's annoying, to say the least.
I'm not usually one to judge a person by the color of their skin. If you're friendly and we share the same interests, we can be friends. That was how it was down in LA, I wasn't friends with all Asian people just because I am Asian. In fact, I actually try to avoid my own kind as much as possible, because I like DIVERSITY.
I feel like that'll be really hard to do up here.
I've already tried making friends with people in my classes who AREN'T asian, but that's hard because I'm a science major. (And whoever's reading this, if you're not Asian, you know how hard it is to befriend someone who is Asian. It's actually hard for me too, even though I'm Asian, because I don't act or look like a traditional Asian and I guess it scares some of them off.) So basically I can't make any friends at all because the non-Asians think I only want to befriend Asians and won't talk to me, and the Asians won't talk to me because I'm too unconventional.
Is there any way for me to break this? I hate looking around campus and seeing everyone so segregated, even if by choice. It makes those of us who actually value diversity unable to make proper friends and connections up here because of the rigid boundaries already put in place.</p>

<p>If anyone has any comments, thoughts, whatevers about my post, please don't be shy. I would appreciate any and all input! Thank you! :D</p>

[failure622]

<p>Hello!</p>

<p>I actually transferred a year ago, Fall transfer, but started classes over the summer. I’m EECS, also a girl. It can be a bit tricky to fit in as any major, I think.</p>

<p>In my experience, who you live with can have a HUGE impact on social life.</p>

<p>I didn’t know anyone when I first transferred, so I chose to live in the dorms. I ended up in freshman housing, and didn’t have much in common with anyone. They were all in the same lower div classes, always dressing up and partying, basically doing freshman things. I had bad luck with roommates, the first was a nightmare and eventually moved out, her replacement was nice but our sleeping schedules were incompatible.</p>

<p>This year, partly from bad luck last year and partly because most upper div students already have housing, I went for dorms again. This time I landed in Wada, one of the weird upper div apartment dorms. The difference is amazing. Everyone is a non-traditional student in some way… some are older, most are junior transfers, a couple seniors, some sophomores. It gives the floor a different dynamic. The rooms are nicer too, but that’s only a small benefit. There’s more variety in the classes people are taking, but it’s more likely you’ll find someone on your floor to study with. Overall it was a much better situation, though.</p>

<p>If you are in school housing, go say hi to your neighbors. Hi, I’m a Spring admit, I don’t really know anyone yet so I thought I’d stop by and introduce myself, etc. Maybe take a roommate with you. At least in Wada, there’s quite a few new transfers (my floor has 4 or 5), so you’re not alone. It’s tough though, being somewhere new with established groups already around you. But most people try to be friendly, I think. And if they’re not, go try the next door.</p>

<p>It’s always hard to make friends in class… most of the people I know in my classes I met when we were forced to work together. That said, I purposefully take project classes so I’m not all alone. I always found that working together (in a study group, on projects, as a TA/researcher) made it a lot easier to become friends. Clubs probably have a similar effect, I dunno. The other place I made CS friends was actually in section… it’s a small group so you actually see the same people more than once. Of course, that one helps if you go to section and actually say hi to people. In my experience, most people are pretty friendly, but you’ll never know it if you don’t try to talk to them.</p>

<p>Racial cliques: Honestly, this kinda happens everywhere. I think part of the reason for it here is that some students prefer to speak their native language, so they’ll tend to befriend others who are the same way. Obviously that isn’t the case for everyone, there’s also just a tendency for people to segregate themselves… I guess we like people who are like us? I dunno.</p>

<p>But I’d say ignore that, and go talk to who you want to. Non-asians won’t talk to you because they don’t think you want to be friends? I mean, if you go up and talk to them, I’m sure they’ll take the hint. :P</p>

<p>Clubs: Uh… can’t help much there, sorry. In Fall semester, there’s something called Calapalooza, where all the clubs set up tables and recruit people, I dunno if there’s one for Spring but it would’ve already happened if there was. If you have an RA, they might have ideas. Or if there’s older chem students (maybe an undergrad TA) they might be able to point you in the right direction. You could also try asking on facebook/reddit/whatever about clubs.</p>

<p>Wow, that was long, sorry. Good luck!</p>

[bomerr]

<p>You sound really sheltered. </p>

<p>if you are fat and you want to be treated better than you should lose some weight. You put effort into your grades to get into Berkeley, right? Well you should be putting effort into what you are eating. In fact you should be putting effort into every part of your life. To cut your research short eat 1500 calories a day and you’ll lose weight. If you are awkward and you want to make friend then you gotta work on talking to people. From you way you talk, judging everyone else and looking for differences, I can tell you right now, it’s not the people, it’s you. </p>

<p>Welcome to the real world, things don’t get handed to you. </p>

[ForeIN]

<p>Wow sounds like you have a lot of self esteem issues…I think you need to work on the whole race thing. You say being Asian is one of your negative traits. So why should anyone disagree with that when you already believe that yourself. You prejudge people already, thinking they’re judging you, when your the only one judging yourself! </p>

<p>We all have race cliques because it’s what we’re comfortable with: usually we have a lot in common like interests, music, culture etc. It’s nothing uncommon.
So maybe they’re not use to interacting with other races, don’t think just because you’re a different race that people don’t want to be friends with you.
As a girl majoring in science it was be overwhelming to be the minority. I was surprised to see more men in my math & science classes too! For me its been easier to make friends with the guys, the few girls never seem friendly. So maybe try that and don’t feel inferior, most are really just nice & aren’t trying to date you, so don’t worry about that.</p>

<p>For the weight thing, go to your campus gym there’s always people there or someone jogging around campus. Once you get fit, you’ll have one less insecurity to worry about. I started working out last month & I haven’t reached my goal yet but I’m getting more confident with my body.</p>

<p>I don’t think cashiers are rude, maybe the place is so crowded its hard to keep a happy face on. Plus customers can be just as rude esp if its fast food.
When I first went to Noah’s bagels, the girl cashiers didn’t seem too friendly but after a while they seemed less bitchy. Most are nice but obviously not 24/7 so don’t take it personal.
And I’m from NorCal but to me Berkeley has a lot of friendly people. I still wanna go to SoCal eventhough we say yall are more rude and stuck up. I’ve only visited and that’s
been mostly true, I’m sure living there is another story. I go to a Gocommunity college and only visit the UCB campus area to get food during my break so hopefully my advice somewhat helps.</p>

<p>GOD BLESS</p>