<p>
</p>
<p>Well! The cold was probably a fraction of why I turned down Dartmouth…so I totally understand. LOL Although unlike with Dartmouth, she would not be in Austin during the oppressive temps.</p>
<p>I’m still confused on the sex of the child in question, is he/she a male or female? </p>
<p>Just to put my perspective on women’s colleges, my best friend will be attending Bryn Mawr this fall and she met a boy who currently attends BM who is a cross dresser so I don’t know if you have to be legally a female to apply. I’d say just give each school a call and see what they have to say, otherwise all you are getting is hearsay.</p>
<p>nastynate0315, I think post #9 answers your question. There are some men who attend women’s colleges, but as far as I know, they’re all trans men (i.e., transitioned from female to male) and were therefore legally female when they applied. I’ve never heard of a trans woman successfully applying to a women’s college, and some have issued statements saying they will not accept students who are legally male, regardless of their gender identity.</p>
<p>Not that it’s not worth calling the schools and checking if one really wants to go there … but trans students (FTM or MTF) who apply to single-sex colleges will have to defend their right to be on campus in addition to all the other stress of coming out and transitioning. IMHO, it’s probably not the best choice when there are so many co-ed schools that are great choices…</p>
<p>Kei-o-lei, while I’m still thinking about this, here are a few specific things to consider when looking at schools (in addition to anecdotal info about how trans-friendly the students are, which is also important…) Some of these things may be easier to find out about than other things; some of it may be more or less important to your child, depending on her plans, what she’s comfortable with, and how out she wants to be. It’s awesome that you’re being so supportive - she’s really lucky to have you as a parent!</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Housing: is there all-gender housing or LGBT-themed housing, and is it open to first-years? Can trans students get singles, or be housed with their identified gender rather than their physical sex?</p></li>
<li><p>Bathrooms: how accessible are all-gender / single-user bathrooms, in dorms and around campus?</p></li>
<li><p>Health care: is there easy access to therapists and endocrinologists who have experience with trans patients? Are they available through student health services, or other doctors in the surrounding area?</p></li>
<li><p>Resources on campus: are there trans student organizations and support groups? Are there designated offices or staff members who work with LGBT students? Are there events or trainings to educate the campus community about trans issues?</p></li>
<li><p>Changing records: how hard is it to change the college’s records of your name and gender? Do they need to be legally changed first? Is it possible to register a preferred name for course rosters, etc.?</p></li>
</ul>
<p>As a slight expansion on quaere’s list, see if a college has an LGBT center on campus with paid staff. </p>
<p><a href=“http://www.lgbtcampus.org/directory[/url]”>www.lgbtcampus.org/directory</a></p>
<p>If she decides to go down South (NC is quite mild), Duke is her best bet. I have a good friend who transferred from NYU to Duke, transitioned to female, had a wonderful experience, and is now at UCSF med hoping to work with trans patients. It has one of the largest LGBT centers in the country, and its neighbor UNC annually hosts the Unity Conference – an absolutely fantastic conference with panels, workshops, and performances from across the entire LGBTQ spectrum. </p>
<p>Among the Ivies, Penn is arguably the most supportive in terms of policies and institutional support. If she is willing to consider a large school, Michigan is extremely LGBT-friendly and is very strong in most areas.</p>
<p>Vassar! I’m a rising junior - straight and stuck with the gender I was born and raised into, but it’s a very accommodating and welcoming place. One of our orientation programs is a game show-type thing called Gays of Our Lives, and it’s aimed at teaching incoming freshmen that Vassar is not the kind of place that accepts stereotyping and discrimination. The basis is that there are six panelists and after a series of questions the audience tries to guess their sexual orientation and/or gender. That’s just one example of how Vassar tries to make everyone feel welcome and teach them from the outset that there is no “typical” gay man or woman. (I’m dancing at the program this coming year, which is partly why I’m so gung-ho about it, but it’s totally the best part of orientation anyway.) </p>
<p>We also have two active school-funded LGBTQ organizations - QCVC, the Queer Coalition of Vassar College, and Act Out. (Don’t ask me what the difference is, but they hate being lumped together. Go figure.) We also have an LGBTQ center on campus that often hosts movie nights, game nights, etc.</p>
<p>Kei-o-lei, It must be difficult for you to get used to using “she” for your child. When we parents are holding our little baby boys, we don’t imagine they’ll grow up to be girls. What a shock. Parenting-- it’s not for sissies and wimps, you never know what will happen next.</p>
<p>I always recommending visiting schools that are being considered, but with your child it’s more important. She should consider contacting the GLBT organizations on campus before she visits, so that perhaps when she visits she can meet with a member or two for a chat. </p>
<p>She should also talk about housing to schools she’s considering. Would she want a male roommate, a female roommate, or a single? Probably a single would be easiest. </p>
<p>If it were me, I wouldn’t hold it against a school if administrators were a bit baffled by her requests-- especially a small school, who might not have had to deal with trans students, or MTF trans students, before. Hostility would be unacceptable, but I’m afraid that minority students sometimes have to educate their schools. She should consider whether she’s willing to be the trailblazer, or whether she’d be more comfortable at a school that has experience with trans students.</p>
<p>“If it were me, I wouldn’t hold it against a school if administrators were a bit baffled by her requests-- especially a small school, who might not have had to deal with trans students, or MTF trans students, before.”</p>
<p>Speaking from the experience of having met quite a few “T” students (and counseled some), I definitely WOULD. It is difficult enough having to negotiate the social terrain, and undergoing physical and emotional changes without being required to take on the role of educating educators. It is easy to forget that for “T” students, as for everyone else, there is a lot more going on in life and education than gender identity. With so many wonderful schools out there, I would make this a deal-breaker.</p>
<p>The presence of GLBT center has little impact on whether a school will be a good fit for a “T” student. Some of the schools with the strongest centers also have poor reputations for prejudice based on sexual orientation. In fact, that is one of things that often makes a GLBT center stronger, as one of the few safe spaces on campus.</p>
<p>I second Wesleyan and Hampshire, as I’ve known MTF trans students that went to those schools. Oberlin seemed very queer-friendly and I also noticed a lot of gender neutral bathrooms and housing (Oberlin’s policies are outlined in detail here: [Trans</a> at Oberlin - Oberwiki, The Oberlin Wiki](<a href=“Registrant WHOIS contact information verification | Namecheap.com”>Registrant WHOIS contact information verification | Namecheap.com)). </p>
<p>I agree that in addition to a “liberal/tolerant” atmosphere, you should look into the school’s official policies, like in housing. I know at Wesleyan (see: <a href=“http://www.wesleyan.edu/queer/[/url]”>http://www.wesleyan.edu/queer/</a>) roommate selection can be gender-neutral after the first year, but you can also put down that you’d like to be recognized as a gender identity other than your legal “sex” so that you would be placed with a roommate who is open to people of minority gender identities/expressions. I believe trans students get priority for singles here but I’m not sure. Both Oberlin and Wesleyan and the policy that all dorm bathrooms be gender-neutral unless (by an anonymous vote at the beginning of the year) any two people were uncomfortable with it, then they would be gender-specific), while I believe at Vassar all the dorm bathrooms were gender-neutral.</p>
<p>If schools have groups explicitly trans-focused groups, you could look up their contact person and ask them directly what trans life is like. I’m not sure whether looking at schools with GLBT centers would be the best barometer of whether it’d be a good fit for a trans student. I would only consider it if you were looking at those sort of schools to begin with. a lot of the campus GLBT centers seem to be at big schools, often public schools, that are probably less likely to be accepting overall, not just the small, tolerant LACs with a considerable queer population that you’re more likely to be looking for. there were only a few LACs on that list, and I’d question how much GLBT centers at very small schools actually impact the experience of queer/trans students…</p>
<p>While there can certainly be T-friendly colleges without centers, they certainly help. At the very least, the staff is trained to work with LGBT issues and can act as mentors to new or confused students. An accepting student body is all well and good, but that is not necessarily enough, particularly for a person still in transition. </p>
<p>Yale has long let students be in charge of LGBT resources on campus, with mixed results (I’ve heard many complaints from women and minorities). That it has worked as well as it has is, I think, simply due to the size of the LGBT community. This might not be the case at a small LAC, however accepting, if it lacks the trained staff, older students/mentors, or even a single T undergraduate.</p>
<p>I don’t know where you live, but when I visited the University of Vermont, I remember walking through the student center, they talked about LGBT groups on campus. There were also many ‘gender neutral’ bathrooms, which I hadn’t seen at other colleges. Burlington may be a good town for someone like your child.</p>
<p>Not sure this is helpful -as stated, the presence of a gender-neutral facility does not, alone, insure a good experince but suggests at least there is something in place there (beyond simply the facility) for the LGBT student.
[Colleges</a> With Gender Neutral Housing – Dorm Rooms for Gay, lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Students](<a href=“http://gaylife.about.com/od/gayteens/a/genderneutral.htm]Colleges”>5 Bad Ways to Demonstrate Your Interest in a College)</p>
<p>New College of FL ([New</a> College of Florida](<a href=“http://www.ncf.edu%5DNew”>http://www.ncf.edu)) has T students and T employees. It is as LGBTQ friendly as you can get, and is only too hot in the summer when school is out.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>The one T-ish student I know well (probably more accurately Q) could have gone anywhere and chose Wesleyan after a lot of thought and reasearch.</p></li>
<li><p>You may be wrong to write off Chicago. I don’t specifically know about the experience of any T students there, but there are lots of LGBs who really like it. It is somewhat more politically conservative than many other peer universities, but the conservatives there tend to be strongly libertarian (and as likely to be gay and out as anyone else), so there is really no culture of rejection or fear. And the University’s standards for civil discourse are self-enforced pretty strongly by everyone. It really seems to be an institution where your sexual identity doesn’t have to be the most important thing about you, no matter what it is, and many kids are happy with that. Also, it has an OK rooming policy, lots of singles for first-years, and an administration that won’t be baffled by your questions.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Oberlin and Wesleyan immediately come to mind.</p>
<p>American University
Bard College
Bates College
Boston University
Bowdoin College
Brown University
Carleton College
Carnegie Mellon University
Colorado College
Columbia University
Connecticut College
Cornell University
Duke University
Grinnell College
Hampshire College
Harvard University
Harvey Mudd College
Haverford College
Indiana University-Bloomington
Kenyon College
Macalester College
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Middlebury College
New York University
Oberlin College
Ohio State University
Pennsylvania State University-University Park
Pomona College
Princeton University
Reed College
Stanford University
Swarthmore College
Tufts University
University of California-Berkeley
University of California-Los Angeles
University of California-Santa Cruz
University of California-San Diego
University of Chicago
University of Massachusetts-Amherst
University of Michigan-Ann Arbor
University of Minnesota-Twin Cities
University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
University of Oregon
University of Pennsylvania
University of Southern California
University of Texas-Austin
University of Washington
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Vassar College
Washington University-St Louis
Wesleyan University
Whitman College
Yale University</p>
<p>Wesleyan
Swarthmore
Vassar
Haverford
Oberlin
^Seem to fit your criterea and are quite selective</p>
<p>Hampshire, Bard, Sarah Lawrence and possibly Skidmore would also be nice selections and a little less selective (possibly safeties or lower matches).</p>
<p>If there is any flexibility in region, Reed, Pitzer (as you said) and Macalester would also be great choices.</p>
<p>depending on the status of your daughter, she may or may not be able to attend what is, in my mind, the best and safest place for a trans student: smith. if you’re daughter is a MTF, pre-op, then, she is unfortunately barred from attending smith, whose admissions policies are biologically based, not identity based. if she is post-op MTF or pre-op FTM, then i very much think smith is the best option. i’m unclear how your daughter is transitioning, because you use both “he” and “she.” i assume, however, that she is a pre-op MTF. if that’s the case, then i would recommend larger universities or top ivy league schools like yale or harvard. while certain liberal arts colleges will be welcoming, the size of the school, and the size of the trans community itself, may make her more of a representative token than she’d want to be. oberlin and wesleyan, both of which are larger campuses than say swarthmore are good choices. but i would also say that extremely wealthy schools like harvard and yale are, for middle-class americans, unlikely to require loans. </p>
<p>good luck to you and your daughter!</p>
<p>Alexandre -</p>
<p>Whew! Thanks for the big list. </p>
<p>I was wondering: what criterion/criteria did you use to develop it?</p>
<p>Again, thanks</p>
<p>Kei</p>
<p>pb2002, I disagree that Smith (or women’s colleges in general) are the best places for trans students. I say this having considered Smith/Mount Holyoke/Wellesley/Bryn Mawr as a pre-op FTM, and also based on discussions with close friends at Smith and Mount Holyoke. These are students who are allies to the trans community, but are still frustrated about the presence of men at a women’s college. The majority opinion was that it’s a women’s school; there are FTMs there who transition after enrolling, and they should be supported because they are part of the school community; but that doesn’t mean the school should open its doors to students who know they aren’t women when they apply. When I realized I was FTM, I took women’s colleges off my list. While I know some are supportive of students who transition, I’d be acutely uncomfortable coming in knowing that I was male and asking to be recognized as a man from the start. It seems very disrespectful to the students who go there specifically looking for an all-women environment.</p>
<p>It’s also worth noting that going to a women’s college is always an outing situation for trans men every time someone asks where you go/went to college. While it may not seem like a problem if you’re 19 and just beginning to transition, it may be different 30 years later when your resume still says you went to Smith…</p>
<p>There is no precedent for trans women attending women’s colleges. If one did choose to attend, it would almost certainly generate attention, and controversy (especially among alums). Even if she were totally stealth, there would be no community, support, or medical resources on campus for her. That’s a difficult situation to be in, even if you are completely post-op. While some might not mind it, I don’t see how it’s inherently better than attending a co-ed college with an established trans community that includes other trans women.</p>
<p>Re LACs, it really depends on the school. At some schools, a trans student would definitely stand out. (That’s true of some universities, too.) But an LAC with an established trans community (like the ones named in this thread) can be a great choice. My experience at Oberlin has been that although our trans community is smaller than that at, say, UVM, we’re collectively more visible because we’re a greater percentage of the student body. That means individual students are less likely to stand out as the trans person. It’s also easier to find resources and navigate problems at a smaller school. If someone feels strongly about being at a small LAC rather than a larger university, they don’t necessarily need to compromise that in order to find an environment that will respect and support their trans identity.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I don’t think that means a darn thing. Swarthmore has long been a leader in LGBT issues, from hosting one of the first annual symposiums on LGBT issues (Sager Symposium), to being one of the first two or three schools in the country to offer same-sex benefits, to having a trans professor who taught from 1968 to retirement in 2001 and for whom the student art gallery is named.</p>
<p>The culture is accepting and strong with real influence. For example, students on the interview committee shot down a candidate for Dean several years ago because he expressed his commitment to LGBT issues in terms of supporting “alternative lifestyles”.</p>
<p>However, the structure of the school is such that all of the multicultural organizations are independent student organizations with a corresponding associate dean as the paid staff. So, there is no paid staff for the Black Cultural Center, but there is a (black) dean who is the liason with the BCC. There is a (gay) dean of multicultural affairs who is the liason between the school and the LGBT student groups. And, so on and so forth. It is very apparent that Swarthmore makes an affirmative commitment to making sure that each identity group on campus has champions, liasons, and role models in the administration and faculty. It’s part of an affirmative effort to ensure that students from each identity group not only attend the College, but have a stakeholder role in the College community.</p>
<p>So, if you went strictly based on that list of schools with “paid staff” for an LBGT “center”, Swarthmore would not be on your list, despite the fact that it is one of the most comfortable and progressive colleges in the country for such students. So comfortable that it is probably a bit jarring for some graduates when they find that the real world is not like Swarthmore.</p>