Rejections are difficult…for us, no one statement could ease the pain. Rather, it was more a process that my D needed to work through.
The prep for rejections started before my D submitted her first application. I told her when the decisions come in, please don’t say “I didn’t get into the college of my choice” because every college she applied to was “her choice.”
Before decisions arrived, I reminded my D of the process she used to determine whether a college would be a “good fit” for her before she applied to them. Now, the admissions committee gets to weigh in on her decision. They know their students, campus culture, and academic rigor. They know the type of student most likely to succeed at their college. They’ve reviewed thousands of applications and somehow are able to see fine distinctions between applicants. I told her their decision to admit her or not is actually giving her the best opportunity for success during her college years.
I told my D she should be thankful for their guidance and know their decision is not personal, even though the rejection may feel that way. Of course, they’ll be tears. I told her never pine too long for things that were never meant to be. Rather, focus on the acceptances. There’re wonderful schools who want her on their campus and in their classrooms and they wait for her acceptance of their offer. I told her to think about the attributes that she saw in the colleges that encouraged her to apply. I reminded her that there really wasn’t a first, second or third choice because each college had their pluses and minuses.
I told her to be excited for her choices because she could be successful at any of the colleges. I told her she really couldn’t make a bad decision because every college who accepted her is one of the colleges she wanted to attend. So, she should choose to attend the college where she felt most at home. Celebrate and support the decision.
My D has moved on since last year’s decisions and has not looked back or thought about “what if…” and we couldn’t be happier for her.