The Parent Interview </p>
<hr>
<p>My purpose for starting this thread is to give the parents of applicants a better understanding of what to expect during the “Parent Interview.”</p>
<p>My child applied to numerous schools and over the course of a few weekends, we went on the New England Tour. We went to Andover, Exeter, St. Paul’s, Choate, Hotchkiss, and Deerfield, to name a few. No two interviews were alike, but there were some common factors. But first, understand my state of mind as I approached the first interview.</p>
<p>My daughter is exceptionally bright, has great EC’s, and has a track record of success in sports and academics. Anyone reading her application would know that, but as I went into the first interview I was in the “sell” mode. BS was something she really wanted, and I thought I would help her by “selling her” to the admissions officer. This also happens to be what I had done for a living for many years: convincing people. So I thought I was going to nail this. I had a briefcase with her awards, we had made up a resume, which I had in the inside of my jacket pocket, and I had prepared in my mind a number of “strong points” that I wanted to be sure to mention: first in this, first in that, youngest in this, awarded blah blah blah in those. You get the picture. </p>
<p>Within thirty seconds after sitting down, I was hitting the interviewer with “facts” about my daughter. I was in sell mode, on steroids! Within two minutes of the interview, I had whipped out the resume and was waiving it around, using it as an exhibit, and on and on. </p>
<p>I think the interviewer was a bit startled, but he was extremely patient. He gently tried explaining to me that the interview was just a chance to get to know the parents and the students and blah blah blah…I wasn’t really hearing him. And then he indicated this was to be the one and only interview. “WHAT!! This is it?” I was thinking. So despite what he was saying, now I went into overdrive (obviously, if there was to be only one chance to learn about my daughter, I had to get out EVERYTHING!!!) And then the interview ended. In my mind, it was abrupt. I HAD SO MUCH MORE TO SAY!!!</p>
<p>As I walked out of the interview, I felt so inadequate. I felt that I royally messed up, but I couldn’t quite figure out “why?”</p>
<p>The next day, at a different school, I was about to go into the interview and suddenly it dawned on me what the interviewer was trying to convey. He was trying to convey to me that the interview really is just about getting to know the parents. It was about establishing a rapport with the interviewer, and LISTENING. They really did want to get a feel for the parents. Are they “odd balls” or “helicopter parents” or psychos (I think I clearly established that I was the latter But I was so caught up in trying to convince the first interviewer, that I didn’t listen. I had given him a barrage of information. But sitting there, about to be interviewed again, I had suddenly “got it.”</p>
<p>I walked in, calmly sat down, and “listened” to the interviewer tell me about what a great kid I have. I “listened” to the things she mentioned about the school. And above all, I just tried to relax and be myself. Of course, there were questions, but I simply tried to make it into more of a conversation. We laughed during the interview (I managed to crack a couple jokes) and this was by far, the best “interview” of the trip. It was a pure delight, especially compared to the day before, which was a nightmare.</p>
<p>I went on about six more interviews over the next few weeks and the most important thing for me to remember was to listen. Relax, and listen to what the interviewer is saying or asking. I still “sold” my daughter, but it wasn’t a barrage of information. Instead, I was more laid back, and the information just worked its way into the conversation. It wasn’t forced. They already had a good idea of the strength of my daughters candidacy, but a person can tell a lot from the parents and a child’s upbringing. They want to make sure the parents aren’t off the wall, not too strange, don’t have three eyeballs, that sort of thing.</p>
<p>So I am so grateful for that first interviewer. He truly helped me understand what I believe is the central purpose of the interviews and what IT ISN’T! And it IS NOT the time to hit them with a barrage of facts. Have a conversation, highlight some of your child’s real strengths, show them your child comes from a nurturing, loving environment, but above all, show them that you are not some kind of oddball!! Have fun!