<p>“Is Cuba next to China?”</p>
<p>Oh god…</p>
<p>Sent from my SGH-T959V using CC</p>
<p>how are we alive if the atmosphere is crushing on top of us</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I completely lost it at that tidbit. . .</p>
<p>Last year in Geometry
Teacher “Did you study the prostitutes?” (He mispronounced postulate as prostitute)
Student XYZ: “I thought brown rice was created in Africa”
My history teacher told a student in my class, “You should be in a commercial for eating Ice Cream”
same teacher: “stop playing on your black box”
Student: “I thought whats up means go to he**”
Field Trip; student looks at billboard and says “Look, new highway”</p>
<p>how are we on the earth if we are in it (student at 8th grade us history class)</p>
<p>Kindergarten class-</p>
<p>Teacher-children, which vegetable is round, red, and put in spaghetti?
Kid- Meatballs!</p>
<p>Student A to Foreign Exchange Student: “Would you say the alphabet in your language?”</p>
<p>Student B: “I didn’t know the alphabet was in other languages.”</p>
<p>Student A to Teacher: “Are trees considered plants?”</p>
<p>Student A: “Try gone no me tree. That’s sounds hard!”
Student B: “That’s now how you say it. It’s called ‘trigonometry.’”
Student A: “It still sounds hard.”</p>
<p>Letter from student to teacher: “Miss, I know that deep in that cold black heart of yours, that you are really a nice person. Can I have an A now?”</p>
<p>This is from Academic Team, not class, but it’s hilarious.</p>
<p>Moderator: “In Greek Mythology, who was the king who was punished by having to continuously roll a boulder up a hill, only to have it roll down each time?”
Girl: <em>Buzzes in</em> Syphilis.
Moderator: “That is incorrect. We were looking for Sisyphus.”
<em>everyone in the room starts giggling</em></p>
<p>Teacher: What are you grateful for?
Student: I don’t know.
Student 1’s project partner: For your partner!
Student: Nah</p>
<p>This isn’t that funny, but I thought this thread needed to be brought back.</p>
<p>“I’m not Catholic. I’m a Christian.”</p>
<p>In English, we were talking about how the merchant Antonio in The Merchant of Venice had lost all his money at sea (he owns a fleet of merchant ships, all of which had sunk/been damaged), and one girl said, “But why would he put all his money on a boat?”</p>
<p>I was dying.</p>
<p>The following excerpts were from my Honors USH class, which aside from the fact that only three kids were doing the assigned reading, me included, very few kids were paying attention to the teachers, prompting most kids to fail through the course, but here are three of the most vivid gems in the course:</p>
<p>Guy: This Hitler guy was real? I though he was a video game character.</p>
<p>Girl: This is America, I am free to believe whatever I want! (When the teacher marked her answer wrong and failed her test.)</p>
<p>Another Girl: (To me) Could you help me with this map (We were assigned an unlabeled map of Europe each, and we had to fill in the nations’ names without any help. This girl had nothing in her map right, such as how she labelled Switzerland as Portugal.)</p>
<p>Another kid during health class piped up and asked the teacher what was a tampon. This was not stupid per se, but pretty hilarious.</p>
<p>There is also this underclassman who brags how he is going to get into all top schools like Harvard, Yale, and MIT, which he called the “Michigan Institute of Technology.”</p>
<p>Aside from my HUSH class, my APWH was just as painful. We had to build wikis on the content that we were learning, but most kids in my course just copied and pasted from Wikipedia, one of them ended up copying and pasting a completely unrelated article due to similarity between names.</p>
<p>More onto laziness. In a Digital Media class of about fifteen kids, I was the only one who turned in the first project on time. This really surprised me, since I just returned from a rigorous private school that never accepted late work, much less give full credit for it.</p>
<p>Another one: For a project, some kids in my Spanish II class decided to make a PowerPoint on Fidel Castro. Why? Because since our teacher is Cuban, then she would love Castro… Face, meet palm.</p>
<p>I also recall that there were several kids in AP Lang that did not know anything about satire. I mean, I understand not knowing anything about Swift’s famous A Modest Proposal, but to not know anything about satire itself? Pitiful.</p>
<p>Seriously, when my Chemistry teacher told me that only 10% of incoming HS freshmen from my county graduate from high school, go on to college, and graduate, I really doubted her statistics. But now? I completely understand why.</p>
<p>I’m sitting in the library and I hear this conversation:</p>
<p>Girl: Hey, the Eiffel Tower is in Italy right?
Boy: No, I think it is in Rome…
Girl: Oh, okay! <em>writes answer on homework</em></p>
<p>Not in class, but still funny</p>
<p>Me: It’s somewhere in the Northwest like Washington or Oregon.
My Sister: Wait, is Oregon a state or its own country?
O.o</p>
<p>Apparently our school has issues with social studies and geography </p>
<p>So Sydney is the capital of Austria? </p>
<p>Teacher: Why did Hitler also target Jehova’s Witness?
Student: Because he was tired of them knocking on his back door. </p>
<p>Same Teacher: (talking about trench warfare)…and it was a hazardous environment
Same Student: Couldn’t they have just taken taxis with bombs across the trenches and blown up the Nazis? Cue laughter and epic facepalming </p>
<p>Classmate to Classmate: You’re Vietnamese? But I thought you were Asian. (Happens to every Asian in our school) </p>
<p>According to one of the world history teachers, somebody switched France and the UK on a map test -__-.</p>
<p>First day of Calc, learning about the limit definition
Teacher: Any questions?
Student: What does the “l-i-m” stand for?</p>
<p>My friend’s creepy Anatomy teacher who is also the football coach
Who is the most anatomically gifted teacher in this school?</p>
<p>A sad but common occurrence in my school:
Yo man, I finally got a 2.0 this quata! Aww yea bro, swag!</p>
<p>Another sad and stupid one
5th ranked in my class:
“Well, when I’m cheating through here, I’m going to get a baseball scholarship and cheat my way through to a business major and play baseball. Then when I graduate I’m going to play baseball and own a team.” Our 5th in the class ladies and gentlemen. Not that the 1st rank also cheats and the teachers don’t care *end mini rant</p>
<p>“This book has a typo. They spelled ‘color’ with a u.”</p>
<p>I was assigned to grade some chemistry quizzes from another class and one of the questions was something along the lines of “What kind of bond is formed between sodium and chlorine?” and for an answer the kid wrote “5.”</p>
<p>Teacher: Why don’t you ever try?
Kid: I’m going to be a professional football player.
Teacher: Are you on the football team?
Kid: No. They suck. I’ll pick it up in college.</p>
<p>A woman with AIDS spoke at my former school about the dangers of unprotected sex. Some people were asking questions afterwards, but a bunch of people were afraid if they got too close they’d catch it.</p>
<p>A girl in my friend’s AP US Gov’t class a few years ago:</p>
<p>“Wait, so you mean like, America doesn’t have a king and a queen?”
“Oh! George Washington! He’s the one on the penny, right?!”</p>
<p>Then there’s a guy who was a year ahead of me who was taking USH.</p>
<p>“So the Revolutionary War and the Civil War were different?”
“Abraham Lincoln was the third president.”</p>
<p>Someone asked me if Abraham Lincoln was the first president. </p>
<p>My friend was asked if Canada was a state.</p>
<p>We were talking about welfare in my Honors Economics class and someone said that, “having kids just happens to you. You can’t help it.” He was dead serious too.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>hahahahhaha. Did that actually happen?</p>
<p>Don’t ask me why, but one day in science class we had to fill out a map and label all 50 states. I was about 1 of 5 kids who actually didn’t need help.</p>
<p>Girl near me: Hey, what’s this state?
<em>girl points to Vermont</em></p>
<p>Me: Vermont (I thought that was somewhat reasonable because it can sometimes be confused with New Hampshire)</p>
<p>Then another girl asks me, “What’s this state, Georgia?”</p>
<p>Me: <em>looks to where she’s pointing</em> “No…that’s Missouri.”</p>
<p>Really people?</p>
<p>This guy in my APUSH class said this last Friday:
“So basically all the events that led up to the Civil War is like the foreplay that happens before the climax.”</p>
<p>Same guy:
“So if it’s called a ponytail, doesn’t that mean that the back of our heads is technically a horse’s butt?”</p>