<p>Okay, my math teacher keeps saying crazy things like </p>
<p>"Then the tangent line says, 'I am mightier than you because I am straight.'"</p>
<p>and</p>
<p><em>draws box on graph</em> "This is where the sasquatches live."</p>
<p>and</p>
<p>"I'm Fidel Castro in this class. You don't assign homework and I do it; I assign homework and you do it. I am the dictator of this class."</p>
<p>What odd things do your teachers say?</p>
<p>“You have no friends anyways” my English teacher to one if the kids in my class 
hahaha</p>
<p>My MES teacher says crazier things in his explanations and does huge hand movements but their things you have to see before they’ll make sense…</p>
<p>Just happened…
Teacher: “There’s a tidal wave in your water bottle.” Student 1: “There’s a tidal wave in your mom’s water bottle.” Teacher: “Yes there is.” Student 2: “Does your mom even have a water bottle?” Student 1: “Now she does.” Teacher to Student 1: “Now explain the wave in your mom’s waterbed.”</p>
<p>How about, “You will use this in life someday.”</p>
<p>"…people in love tend to be irrational." - MIT chemistry professor, yesterday.</p>
<p>(The context was, he was introducing rate laws and comparing that to an old song with lyrics, “If it takes forever, I will wait for you…for a thousand summers I will wait for you…”)</p>
<p>Overall, there was a good amount of laughter in the lecture hall…</p>
<p>My friend decided that Chlorine and Carbon are slutty when the Chem teacher was teaching us about bonds…</p>
<p>Nerd jokes from our chemistry teacher, all kinds.</p>
<p>“People don’t appreciate good food anymore. I think we should have class at Starbucks today.” Seriously. I LOVE MY TEACHER!!!</p>
<p>“You gotta ef it, you gotta eff it good” the eff is referencing factoring ��</p>
<p>“This isn’t a test a you can study for in one night.” </p>
<p>They’re so naive.</p>
<p>AP State teacher: <em>after turning the calculator plot on</em> Yeah… yummy plot… I turn you on you plot…</p>
<p>Hahahaha, then he rapped the next day! Hilarious :D</p>
<p>So anyone who goes to the same school as me will EASILY identify this teacher. I’ve never had her, but she’s insane. These are just paraphrasing her insanity.</p>
<p>She’s a vampire hunter
She shot and killed her husband
She talks to her fish, and they talk back
Oh, and she talked about me to one of her classes, even though I’ve never had her</p>
<p>Another teacher wore a corset (She’s an English teacher, so she was teaching British Lit.) She proceeded to say another girl should wear it, because she had gained weight
Then she said she wears it for her husband at home
This teacher also says Stonehenge was built by aliens
And she talks about sex way too much</p>
<p>Both are English teachers, now that I think about it… Hmm…</p>
<p>Oh, and my current Econ teacher says his finger is crooked because he two finger death punched a bear. And he says that he could have been a MLB player if he wasn’t nearly blind in one eye. And he has a handle bar mustache complete with mustache wax.</p>
<p>“Be quiet…”</p>
<p>Anyone who knows my AP class knows that will never happen.</p>
<p>My AP Bio class is all girls. At the beginning of the class we learned about induced fit in enzymes. The teacher explained that the enzyme sort of “hugs” the substrate so that the enzyme and the substrate can bind, and a bunch of girls were all, “D’awwww!”
Later, a glucose molecule was referred to as “this little munchkin.”</p>
<p>Another teacher says he’s crazy because he was exposed to mercury in a cereal box prize when he was little.</p>
<p>“Here are the keys to the cadillac. Don’t drive yourself into the brick wall.”</p>
<p>“You have enough rope to hang yourselves.”</p>
<p>“Don’t be sorry; be aware.”</p>
<p>Oh, my Freshman English teacher…</p>
<p>“I was crossing the parking lot and almost got hit by a bus…I could have gotten 4 broken legs!”</p>
<p>Hahahaha I’ve had multiple teachers say funny things.</p>
<p>Today, here’s what my AP Bio teacher said: Today, we’re talking about Mennnn…del.</p>
<p>My APUSH teacher, “there’s a reason Sam Adams has a beer named after him!”</p>
<p>Math teacher is a big joker…</p>
<p>“You’re all ugly”
“Don’t look at me, I’m ugly! Look at the board!”</p>
<p>English teacher says to a kid he doesn’t like because he’s always disrupting class
“You better buy new sneakers for June when it’s graduation time because we’re gonna fight, and you’re gonna run. You won’t be considered a student anymore so that’s it. Watch”
He’s only joking, but it’s always funny.</p>
<p>Art teacher
“What’s six times zero?” Students answer: “Zero”. Teacher: “No, it’s fitty five. You don’t do work 6 times, you get a fitty five.”
Bell is about to ring for period end, and teacher says, “Ok everyone clean up. If you work too hard you get a zero.”
Bell is about to ring for period start, there’s just about 4 out of 25 kids in the class, and teacher says, “Raise your hand if you’re not working”.</p>
<p>One of my old English teachers used to make a joke about a university named “Tight” (dunno if there is one). He’d say, “U Tight?” when someone got angry. Same teacher introduced our class to the word “phallus” after reading about it in the news. Because it’s more appropriate to say that than the other popular word that means what phallus means, he’d say it all the time when the students were joking about it.</p>