Big or small college?

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hey guys so I was hoping you could help me out with this because I have been trying to figure this out for the longest time but I need some help because I am really torn, and I need to decide soon because I have to apply to colleges this fall. I am a female and going to be a senior in high school this year.

So I really have been having a lot of trouble deciding on which college is better. I would say that I am not initially the most outgoing person ever, and if I just meet someone I can be a little shy but everyone I know says once I get to know someone a little better I am a very friendly and outgoing person. It just takes a little bit and I can be a bit introverted and shy when first meeting people. I like my alone time, but I also need an active social life to keep me happy.

At first I had my heart set on going to a big university with many people. The reason for this being… I really hate high school. My high school probably has about like 1000-1200 kids total. And it’s very cliquish and once you’re in a group of friends you’re done. I made a pretty good group of friends, and while they’re fine for the most part, they can be pretty mean at times and I honestly wanted to get away from them. But I couldn’t because I see them every day and the school is small so I can’t switch friend groups because everyone already knows me and you’ve basically got to settle for a lot of your friends.

I loved the idea of a big school because if I meet some people who I start to become friendly with but I end up not liking them, there’s plenty of other people for me to become friends with and it’s likely I won’t see the people I don’t like very often. I also love the idea of just the freedom of being able to do whatever you want without being judged, and a big school sounds a little intimidating I will admit but I would be more excited to step outside my comfort zone. I also don’t really mind the idea of not being the center of attention in the classroom. Although I would want to go to a school where I can ask the professor for help if I need it, I’m not so much of what you call a class participator and like to watch and listen silently. I also love the amount of activities big colleges have.

Now I have my second thoughts though. My mother thinks that “my personality” would be much better suited for a small college. You see at home I’m not the type of person to be constantly be going out with friends every day and night and I stay home alone a lot. She is afraid that I’ll get “lost in the crowd” of a big university. What my mom doesn’t realize though is that 1, I really don’t like half of my friends but the school is so small there’s no one else to become friends with. And 2, I also value my alone time, but if I had more options to make new friends I would be going out much more! My mom thinks that I will have a much easier time making friends at a smaller school where I see similar faces all the time. But what if I don’t like these people and I don’t want to see them all the time? If it feels like high school all over again I will be really disappointed. I just don’t know which situation would be better for me.

I am a little afraid if my mom might be right and I need a smaller college to make more friends… But I just don’t know. I haven’t gone to college lol so I really don’t know what it’s like.

Basically, I’m just confused with what social life will be better for me. Which type of school is the better way to make friends? A small college or big college? I am trying to keep a very open mind and I hope you guys can help me figure out which type of college I will enjoy more.

2

I could have written this exact post when I was 17! It’s uncanny, actually (right down to the high school “friends” who are kind of mean to you). I ended up at a big school–BU has a community of about 30K (though that includes faculty, staff and graduate programs)–and it was really ideal for me. As you touched on, I was able to flit in and out of a few social groups until I found my footing, and it was nice being able to blend in. But I also was able to stand out when I wanted–my actual college within the university only had a few thousand students (it was about the size of my high school, actually), and my class itself only had 450 people, so my class sizes weren’t that big, my professors were accessible, and I ran into certain people a lot. BU, and super large schools like it, also find other ways to create micro-communities so you don’t feel lost, including through housing, campus jobs (like RAs), clubs, etc.

So I say if your gut says go to a big school, go to a big school! If you want to check out some smaller schools, just in case, that couldn’t hurt either. But I absolutely think introverted homebodies can be happy at huge universities, like I was :slight_smile:

3

How about a consortium school? Like the Claremont schools in California? 5 LACs with campuses fit together like LEGO blocks. You apply to and enroll in one, but can cross register for some classes and enjoy the social aspects like a bigger campus. There is also a five college consortium in Mass., although you need to take a shuttle ride between those. And Haverford & Bryn Mawr are right next to each other, with Swarthmore just a short shuttle away.

4

Visit big and small schools. Apply to big and small schools and then see which ones seems better after you go to admitted students day.

To your mom you say: “I will look at some smaller schools but haven’t ruled out larger schools. I think the larger schools will give me more people from which to find my “tribe”.”

5

Visit small schools,medium schools and large schools to see what you like the best. Being willing to visit different sized schools shows your mom that you are truly interested in finding the best place for you. These visits may highlight things like Firet Year Experince or Learning Living Communities that can give the largest college the small feel your mom likes. Personally I always thought I would go to a large state school but it turns out that for many reasons a small private college is a much better fit for me.

6

I’d recommend going to a specialized program in a larger state school (some type of honors program, living and learning program, &c). Won’t get lost in the crowd, but you’ll always have the opportunity to get some space when you need it.

7

what the last poster recommends…big school with small, specialized department, sounds like a good option. I also agree that you must visit. And I also could have written your post at your age! As can both of my daughter’s right now! My oldest, in a similar situation, chose a medium school of 4600 undergrads. She thought that it was the right amount of students to be personal, yet not clichish. You will find what’s right once you visit! And know that the whole mean girl thing has happened all over…it’s different in college.

8

I’m a lot like you–shy when I first meet people, but more outgoing when I’m comfortable with them. I’m also very introverted and like to have time alone. I always thought I would go to a small school for many of the reasons that your mother thinks. I thought it would be easier to make friends and meet people, and I was afraid I would get “lost in the crowd” in a large school. But I ended up going to a large school, and I’m so glad that I did.

I actually liked larger classes because it made it easier to just blend in the crowd when I didn’t really feel like talking or participating, but it was still easy enough to stand out, if I wanted to. Sitting in the front row, asking a question (during, before, or after class), and/or going to office hours or asking for a one-on-one appointment with the professor can all let you get to know a professor and get help, if I needed or wanted it. There were often discussion sections as well, which were smaller classes. And my school had lots of programs to help facilitate getting to know professors better like getting coffee or lunch with a professor that the school would pay for. My school also had seminar classes, which were smaller classes, and class sizes tended to get smaller as you get to higher level classes.

There are also lots of ways for you to create a smaller environment for yourself if that makes it easier to make friends, rather than just getting lost in all of the people that are there. The dorm you live in will likely have activities for residents that you can participate in. There are also clubs, which will have a smaller group of students, and something I did was get a job, where I made many of my really close friends. But the nice thing about that is that it’s easy to get away from people you don’t like, and it’s easy to have time apart from those groups too, if you want or need some time alone to recharge. I ended up liking it much better than I think I would have liked a really small school.

Another benefit of a big school is there might be more options, just in general, than at a smaller school, simply because there are more students to support those choices. My friend and I were getting the same degree at two different colleges, but she was at a much smaller school. We took lots of the same core classes, but I had a much wider selection of electives than she did, just because my school had a really large department of students that could support those classes. There may be a wider selection of clubs. There might even be a couple of different clubs that serve similar functions so that if you find you don’t really like the people in one of the clubs, you can find another. I’m not saying there won’t be really great options at a smaller school, but there might be more at a larger school.

I had friends who went to small colleges, and while they did just fine and liked their schools, they all (even friends who went to different colleges) said it was hard for some people to find their group. And if you didn’t, it could be really hard on them. Some small schools tend to attract students with a certain personality, and if you don’t fit into that, it can be harder to find your group of people. And there are just less people around, so it can be harder when you’re seeing a lot of the same people around but you don’t really fit in with any of the groups. At a large school, there are usually all sorts of people, so even if you don’t find your group right away, there are other options. I also had another friend at a small school that had a couple of good friends but really wanted to make more friends but was never really able to find other people. I’m not saying this is everyone’s experience at a small school, but I do think it’s a valid concern. Having similar faces around all the time doesn’t necessarily mean it will be easier to find your group.

I really relate to your position, and I chose a big school. Looking back on it, I do think it was the right decision, but that doesn’t automatically mean it would be the right decision for you. Try to visit different sized schools, and possibly more importantly, talk to students at different sized schools. It can be hard to see what it would really be like to live at a certain school just by walking around it (in my opinion), but talking to students can be helpful because they can comment about your specific concerns.

9

A big public with a smaller honors college could also be an option to balance the two.

My friend is a rising sophomore at one of the Claremont schools mentioned upthread. The amount of drama we all heard about was ridiculous. It might be a smaller school thing. Nothing of the sort happened to me at my pop.-40k school.

10

Personally, I would not recommend a tiny school. If you didn’t like high school, a campus with less than 2500 students is just going to feel like High School Part II.

For you, I’d recommend a school with at least 10k students.

11

I went to a large public college (40k) after a medium sized (1200ish) high school. I loved it! My major was about 30 kids, so classes in my major were similar sized to high school. I also ran into people everywhere between my sorority, my job, and my classes

12

College is going to be very different than high school, even if you are going to a smaller school. I agree with the idea of visiting a bunch of schools and making your decision from there. I go to a medium sized school of 6000-7000 people and athough I constantly run into people I know when taking walks across campus, it never feels too small because I am always meeting new people. There is also a good number of introverts where I go to school which is always fun because I am able to have some of the most fascinating conversations with them. I don’t think one is better than the other, but it’s a good idea to check them out for yourself

13

Definitely apply to at least 1 big school and at least 1 small school. You don’t have to decide now, and you can keep your options open for another 9 months or so