Bittersweet

<p>I am a single mom. My d and I are thrilled that she is going to b school next year. However, I will be an empty nester and frankly wasn't prepared for the degree of sadness I am feeling knowing that I won't be seeing her everyday. Dies any one else share similar feelings?</p>

<p>My mom is a single mom and at the start of the application process she told me that even if I got in, she wouldn’t necessarily let me go. But after a month and a half of looking at all the school’s opportunities, she was more and more okay with it. When we found out I was waitlisted, she helped and is helping me try to get off. So she’s not in your shoes quite yet, but I understand where you’re coming from. But one thing that’s different is that I have an older brother that’ll still be home (except for when he goes off to college in a few years!) So I can’t offer advice quite yet, but I just thought I’d say that you’re not alone.</p>

<p>I am in the same situation and I understand your feelings of sadness about having an early empty nest. I am making myself feel better by reminding myself how going away truly is the best thing for my child in so many ways. When I feel sad about it I review the school calendar and see how long the school vacations are! I realized that one of the things I will miss is watching my child play sports and having the chance to catch up with my “mom friends” on the sidelines. They have promised to let me know when their kids are playing home games so I can join them. Having an empty nest also means that I can plan weekend trips every so often to see one child at boarding school and the other at college. I write all this trying to see the glass half full but I know when I come home to an empty house after drop off in the fall, it will be sad.</p>

<p>My D is in her first year away at BS and I am an empty nester. It’s funny; I have raised a couple of crops of kids and with the older ones I was so overwhelmed with single parenting, working fulltime 6 days a week, etc., that it was somewhat of a welcome relief when they went off to their dad’s for 6 weeks and were gone for one whole semester.</p>

<p>I was not prepared for completely different feelings this time around. What helps me is taking it one day at a time. When I dropped her off in Sept. I didn’t think of it as dropping her off for a whole year. I fixed my sights on Parents Weekend which was only 6 weeks away. Then it was just a month till Thanksgiving break, etc.</p>

<p>I am well aware that if money and distance are issues, you might not get to see your D very often. My much older son went to BS and his Thanksgiving break was shorter, so he did not come hone for Thanksgiving for 3 years. I never attended any of his Parents Weekends. Money and distance are still issues for me, just not quite as much as then, so I am making financial sacrifices to visit her at BS more and bring her home at Thanksgiving. I am very envious of parents who live within driving distance of their child’s school.</p>

<p>Remind yourself that you would have been an empty nester in a few years anyway and read, surf the web, whatever, for ideas on how to deal with it that suit you and your lifestyle. The joy that will emanate from your D will let you know that you are doing the right thing.</p>

<p>So, short answer is, Yes, many others share your feelings. If the sadness gets really bad, of course you should talk with a counselor. I used to go to a counselor who was a licensed clinical social worker when I had occasional family or personal issues and she was great, always left me feeling much better after just 2 or 3 visits. Not like entering psychoanalysis.</p>

<p>Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. There is no question that going off to b school is the best thing for my daughter, but not for me! That said, as a parent it’s my job I feel, to do what is in get ultimate beat interest. And B school is without a doubt it. I have no regrets as to the path she’s on, just a tinge if sadness knowing I would see her everyday.</p>