Boarding School Cultures

Prep School Admissions
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I had to tune out of CC for a few days, so I may be a bit out of synch, for which I apologize.

This past trimester, my DD was asked by her adviser to answer the questions below, in writing. The adviser then shared DD’s answers with us, in addition to providing an independent assessment. I’m omitting the answers, but I’m sharing the questions because they give a good idea about what the school considers important.

Tip: Use them on your child whenever they fall into a one-word-answer pattern. :wink:

  • How is Your room used (Study, Hang Out, Etc)?
  • Do you help out around the dorm (dorm jobs, etc.)?
  • How is your self-care (sleep, nutrition, personal hygiene, laundry, etc.)?
  • What do you do to foster a good environment in the house (for example, do you interact appropriately with other residents, engage during dorm activities, respect study hours, set a good example for peers and/or younger members of the house community, use intervisitation appropriately, sign out properly when leaving campus)?
  • When things get tough or you have a bad day, how do you respond or recover (how do you take care of yourself in stressful situations, WHO do you turn to at SPS)?
  • How has your engagement been with the broader SPS Community?
  • What activities (clubs, organizations, community outreach, sports, etc.) did you participate in outside of the classroom this term?
  • Are there other ways that you would like to become more involved in the SPS community (any plans to try something new)?
  • What do you like most about the SPS community? Why?
  • What do you find most challenging about SPS beyond the classroom?
  • Do you feel like you are respected and heard within the SPS community? Why?
  • How has your academic experience been so far at SPS?
  • You study best when… (where?, what are the circumstances?)
  • Your homework load is…
  • When do you normally complete your homework?
  • What is your favorite class and why?
  • What is your most challenging class and why?
  • Outside of grades, what improvements can you make in your studies?
  • How academically challenging do you find your classes?
  • Is this year turning out to be what you expected in terms of classes and classwork?
  • What do you have in mind for courses for next year? (if applicable)
  • List three goals you would like to achieve by the end of this year?
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What a great list of Qs!

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@libaya - Greetings!

Thanks for your thoughtful comments. Regarding your observations of the “super-structured” school, I suspect that every situation is unique. I believe that with the right people in the right positions, most any approach can yield favorable results. And every kid has his or her own comfort level regarding structure. My younger daughter was comfortable enough in what struck me as a highly structured junior boarding school, though she was clearly ready for considerably more freedom and responsibility in high school.

With my elder daughter’s “unhappy” school, I tend not to think that the amount of structure was the issue. Indeed, I’m not sure I would call the school super-structured–though I suppose it might have been so. If I had to describe the school environment, I would call it “authoritarian”–which, I feel, is distinguishable from highly structured. I think we need to be clear about exactly what super-structured means. Perhaps you could provide some specific examples of the sort of structure that manifestly worked at the school you spoke of.

In the end, schools are about people. My daughter’s school seemingly hadn’t grasped that the overall quality of one’s day-to-day experience is largely determined by the quality of one’s relations with others. It didn’t see that a student’s personal relations with peers and faculty are arguably more critical to one’s future success than even the formal instruction that takes place in the classroom. For why, otherwise, would the school manifestly strive to corrupt these supportive and nurturing relationships at every turn, inevitably leaving students feeling alienated, alone, and distrustful?

The most important factor, I feel, in operating an effective school is that the faculty and administration have respect for the both the students and themselves. For all of its reverential talk of respect as a “core value,” this unhappy school didn’t seem to be able to translate that talk into action. Whether we call it common courtesy, respect for others, empathy, or kindness–it’s an essential element in creating the sort of healthy, supportive atmosphere that promotes everyone’s happiness, well-being, and success. Indeed, it’s the very foundation upon which a benevolent educational community is built.

Overall, the school seemed to be stuck in defeatist patterns that had become calcified and sanctified through years of practice. Societies change, and schools should endeavor to reflect that change; what might have been educationally valuable seventy-five years ago might not be so valuable today. Even schools that are strongly traditional cannot afford to become complacent and unreflective. Like people, schools are not perfect, and can’t be expected to be. Accordingly, a school that feels the need to hold itself up as infallible and beyond criticism would seem to have taken a terribly wrong turn.

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@DonFefe I agree with everything you said. My experience has only been with local day schools, private and public. But in 3 towns. I have found that faculty and sometimes PTA makes a difference. We have encountered schools that won’t brook criticism, or seem to only take account certain parents’ input. I guess, subconsciously I was aware of that when I looked at BS for both my kids. When we decided which schools to attend and apply to, I was drawn more to schools that seemed like they genuinely were trying to get to know the kid and help the kid reach his potential. IMO, I’m handing over my kids, who are more precious to me than anything, so I better trust them.

Well I think this is super structured. Maybe military school or other schools are more structured? My younger son goes to a school (Gow) for LDs. Formal dress 6 days/week, Saturday classes. He gets up at 6:45am, chores have to be done before breakfast. in class by 8;10. In dorms from 3-3:30 to change for sports for 2 hours. Change clothes for dinner (dinner dress code required). Dinner is from 5;45-6:30. Most kids have required supervised study hall (dress code applies) from 7-9pm. Lights out by 10pm for his grade. They are locked out of the dorms when they aren’t suppose to be there. Because he is a new student and hasn’t earned privileges yet, he has to turn in his laptp and cell phone to his hall’s charging station by 10pm. He wasn’t allowed any other devices. Wifi is turned off from 10pm to 7:30 am anyway. Cell phones are only allowed to be used in the dorm rooms. Sunday morning they have room inspection. Early lights out for everybody on Sunday by 9pm.

He’s only been there for 2 weeks and he doesn’t hate it as much as he thought he would. So this is where your point is made: he likes the teachers! Given DS’s experience, this probably means that he feels that he is taken seriously and they hear what he is saying. So far, the changes to his programming reflects that they are very responsive to what his abilities and potential are. So yeah, totally agree with you. I think loose or strict rules, whatever kind of mission statement a school states they have, it comes down to the people who are there.

I guess for the folks on this board, how do you make this assessment on 0-2 visits? I’ve found this board and talking IRL to current parents help.