Sending a child to boarding school means outsourcing your child’s moral education at the most critical and formative time of their life. It requires an enormous amount of trust and faith and frankly in this crazy and divided world, it seems to be a very poor choice to make. Yes, these schools offer phenomenal educational opportunities, but please ask yourselves: would I rather my child be a whiz at calculus or would I rather my child absorb the hard-fought lessons that my spouse and I (and generations before) have learned through life experience? You can’t have it both ways. Too many families are outsourcing too much of their children’s lives. The upside is no longer an upside as the guaranteed Ivy/T20 acceptances are no longer guaranteed. The level of negligence in this case (and others) should give EVERY family pause before they whip out their checkbooks and call in their favors to secure a spot at PA/PEA/Choate/Hotchkiss etc.
How can you know that the adults entrusted with your child’s health and safety are not as clueless and misguided as the LVille administration who so egregiously failed this family?
This also depends on the student and the relationship with the parent(s). I think my spouse and I communicate with ours (through text and Facetime, along with during breaks) as much as we would if “they” were under our own roof all of the time.
Yes I can see that. I attended PA in the Middle Ages (early 90s) and there were no cell phones or email. I spoke to my parents once a week and they knew little of the the drugs and sex and other entertainment that I got up to. They were also befuddled by my new political leanings and my views on the world in general. To this day I tell them (with affection and a little resentment as well) that if they didn’t want me to turn into a raving liberal they shouldn’t have absolved themselves of my moral upbringing at age 13. Perhaps these days there is more opportunity for parents to remain connected with their kids through smartphones, and that is a good thing, but I do maintain: you can’t have it both ways. You better trust deeply in the moral education your child is receiving at boarding school because for better at worse, the school becomes another “parent”. I wish good luck to those of you with kids in BS, but especially wish good luck to those kids. Boarding school is survival of the fittest/richest/most connected/prettiest/fastest etc. If you’re anxious for your child to learn how cruel the world is, then boarding school is an excellent fast track.
My kid at BS is none of these things and is having a wonderful experience. And “they” seemingly hasn’t turned into a raving liberal yet, either!
That is wonderful for you, ameridad. I hope your child continues to thrive.
Deleted the rest as I don’t want to violate guidelines or offend, although on a thread with this stated topic I’m not sure how anyone can avoid contemplating the merits of BS. In any case, back to the main point, which is the tragedy at L’Ville and the public airing of the investigation findings. Very sad and devastating, and IMO it would be appropriate for multiple people to lose their jobs at that school.
There are many types of boarding schools, and many reasons a family would make such a choice. Not all boarding schools are cutthroat.
Frankly, I wasn’t impressed with the moral education my kid was picking up at the LPS. Apparently my one voice is not enough.
My experience is that bullying and indifferent teachers are much, much more widespread in public schools.
Boarders school is definitely not for every child, but when it works it’s phenomenal. All 3 of my boys became the best version of themselves.
Public schools….hmmm, if I was happy with the local middle and high schools, I wouldn’t spend 60k+ A year to send DD to a boarding school.
I think schools need to take another look at their admissions policies. Knowledge and goodness are both important. Now schools interpret goodness as community service, volunteer work, etc. They seem to put less emphasis on who the person actually is. There are quite some people in those elite schools with questionable values.
Just to remind poster not to post speculation regarding the tragedy, as well as rumors, and unsubstantiated accusations.
Posters should also move away from debating the advantages and disadvantages of a boarding school. That is not the topic of the thread, and debate is not permitted.
Thank you all for your cooperation.
The article is gifted, so readers should be able to open it.
What is the app that is mentioned in the article- “ nationwide, student-run app popular with boarding-school students”
Does anyone know?
Not sure if I should say it here….it’s an anonymous app where kids at all the BS can post under their school name anonymously. I saw some weird stuff there before the app was taken down. Didn’t realize this was why until I read the article.
“Boarding school is survival of the fittest/richest/most connected/prettiest/fastest etc.”
This was our LPS. Not the Quaker BS my kid attended!
To me it’s both LPS and BS. I’m not here to say my LPS is perfect. However, it is MUCH easier to stand out in my LPS. You don’t have 300 D1 recruits or 500 AIME qualifiers (you get the point). That says something to me- especially because my public school is one of the most competitive that isn’t a school you have to apply to (like Stuyvesant). And I honestly find the work at my public school just as difficult as BS.
I’m glad to hear it’s been taken down, although I wouldn’t be surprised if there is already or soon to be another similar app…
This is tragic. You’re there 24/7 - how could the school not find any evidence of bullying? I also think parents want to believe things will work out and they just never think their child would do something so drastic. .
The parents lived so nearby. I wonder if there were frequent visits to check up on him or discuss alternatives when he was going through a difficult time.
All schools confront issues of suicide these days, and all schools have issues of bullying, sadly.
They did. They just didn’t take any action.
This is a very sad story. Unfortunately, mental health issues, suicide and bullying are not unique to BS - it’s everywhere. That being said, I do think BS have a responsibility to hold themselves to a higher standard when it comes to these issues - they are asking you to put your child in their care and I think parents have a right to expect that issues like bullying will be addressed swiftly and appropriately.