Boyfriend's financial picture included on financial aid forms?

Paying for College
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<p>Emerald, the argument seems to stem from the fact that there is an attorney drawn statement saying that the father is not to be responsible for any of the girl’s expenses. I don’t thing it’s going to matter a whit, but I, nor anyone on this board, matters when it comes to that. The OP is going to have to present the case to someone who is willing to complete the NCP waiver and then to the college financial aid office considering it.</p>

<p>For some schools it won’t make a difference as they are FAFSA only, or don’t meet much need with their own funds anyways. But in my experience, those schools that do, cast a jaundiced eye to these things. If the OP’s DD can get into such a college and it comes down to the financial aid process and what should be awarded, that is when the issue will be addressed, by such colleges faced with the information. No reason, she should not try, just to be aware that it may not fly.</p>

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<p>^Actually the OP’s problem is that there is no written statement. She had a verbal agreement with the biodad. If she had a written statement, then she would have been in a very good position since the paper trail will be 18 years long that she was solely responsible to pay for all financial expenses, there were never married, and the dad just had contact with the child. As you’ve said, she has to file for the waiver and make her case. But since she has one year to plan how to proceed with her living arrangements, if she decides to move with the boyfriend, she can make it in such a way as to not negatively impact her daughter’s chances for fa.</p>

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<p>Written statements often make no difference either. I know just this year, of two kids whose waivers were denied at every school, all selective, great fin aid colleges. They had the legal part of it sewn up as part of the divorce agreement. Too bad, nope. They have contact with the parent, he participated in their lives, so tough luck. You don’t get off the hook that way. I’ve yet to see a case like that fly.</p>

<p>But if the parent has truly abandoned the child and there has not been contact, ideally they don’t even know where s/he is, PLUS he has no legal obligations to pay, there is a good case for UCP over ride. Even hostile interaction and presence is considered as interaction. Better, the NCP has disappeared and no idea where to find him/her.</p>

<p>My friend’s daughter is having a tough time right now because her DH has a child from a prior marriage and there is an agreement. The dad had agreed to pay half the cost of college up to a certain amount. None of the private schools care about that agreement. Tough beans. He’s on the hook to pay what he can just like any other parent. And this agreement was crafted 16 years ago, and there has been very little contact with the child, none in the last 5 years. So the kid got no financial aid awards other than a pittance from FAFSA schools. Been accepted to some very nice schools, a bright kid, but no financial aid because the Dad makes enough to pay according to PROFILE.</p>

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<p>This is not really similar to using an anonymous sperm donor. </p>

<p>When you use a sperm donor, you will be required to PROVE that that is how you got pregnant. Sperm banks are familiar with this issue and will write a letter basically saying that they inseminated, or provided it for you, and that the other “parent” is not required to be identified and is not responsible for any costs associated with your child. </p>

<p>Colleges will not accept the mothers word. They asked for proof.</p>

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<p>^^ “as part of the divorce agreement”
That’s the whole difference, the parents were never married. For all cases, restraining orders, long paper trail regarding non-payments and other legal actions do form a strong case to get a waiver. </p>

<p>“none in the last 5 years” The FA officers had said 10+ is their threshold. There were no such issues raised 15-18 years ago, so FA is more willing to believe that college costs had anything to do with divorce/child support agreements. I mean people get divorce even for health reasons so the other person will get publicly funded health care/welfare benefits, etc. Some students apply for waivers because the parents live in different cities for employment reasons.</p>

<p>Each case is examined individually, with a holistic view, and the better one presents their case, the better the possibility to prevail. Many of the top schools try to discourage students to apply for waivers and act like dragon gatekeepers. They have the forms unavailable through their website and one has to contact them directly to get it. The key is to have as much documentation as possible that the pattern is long established, not just in the recent years.</p>

<p>This is from Brown:
“Waivers of non-custodial information are granted in very limited circumstances, such as abuse, neglect, drug addiction, and a long-standing documented history of refusal to support applicant.”
BU:
"We recognize that extenuating circumstances in individual cases may make it impossible to obtain information and/or support. If the noncustodial parent’s whereabouts are unknown, there is an established history of non-support, or there are certain other extenuating circumstances, we may exempt the student from the Noncustodial PROFILE requirement.</p>

<p>Sometimes noncustodial parents are initially reluctant to provide information. We are happy to speak directly with them and often find that we can resolve their concerns. Providing information does not necessarily mean that a noncustodial contribution will be expected. But refusal to provide information or financial support will not, on its own, constitute sufficient justification for a waiver of this requirement."</p>

<p>Emory:
“Instances when waivers are granted are in situations where abuse, a restraining order, incarceration, or total disability, etc. exists. The Waiver request form must be completed and submitted to this office accompanied by a letter of support from a third party who has knowledge of the family’s situation regarding the non-custodial parent. The third party confirmation can come from someone speaking in an official capacity such as a counselor, a minister, a social caseworker, etc. Letters from neighbors or other family members are not sufficient.”</p>

<p>Note how none of these descriptions specify the type of support. You can have a restraining order, or no contact, or drug abuse, and still get child support.</p>

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This is because mom never pursued her right to child support. Still it would have been different if there was a support agreement in place, dad blew off agreement and there was virtually not contact. </p>

<p>Depending on the state where student lives, once she reaches 18 she can take dad to court for child support (for ex. this can be done in NYS where a non-custodial parent is obligated to pay support until child is 21. The agreement can be modified to contribute to college costs and pay support until child graduates from college). In addition, if this were to take place in NY and the child was under 17 1/2 any mandated reporter (which theoretically is any adult who works for the dept of ed) would have to refer the situation to ACS.</p>

<p>I have literally written hundreds of requests for non-custodial waivers. In this economy it is getting harder to get a waiver. Based on info provided, it is going to be very difficult for OP to get a waiver. Any school professional that knows the Op’s situation (child is living next door to bio dad), is not going to lie for OP and risk losing their license, job or ruining their relationships with adcoms.</p>

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<p>True, however if there is a restraining order, OP would send in copy of restraining order with other paperwork to request a waiver. If there is a parent no contact order with the child, the school has a copy of the order on file and in the childs record, to the extent when you pull up the child’s information the first thing you will see is a flag that there is a no contact order in place.</p>

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<p>Brown also states:</p>

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<p>there was also a recent thread when mom posted that her D was accepted ED at Brown. Her ex refused to contribute, and Brown did not discount the ex’s income/assets</p>

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<p>In every case I know where there has been a child, whether the parents are married or not, there is a responsibility that each parent has to financially provide for that child. That the custodial parent did not insist on pursuing that route does not mean that the course was not open to do so. </p>

<p>Ana, I am totally for the OP giving it a go. But as Sybbie has shown in the Brown blurb, many colleges are not interested in anything except the ability to pay as shown on the financial aid forms. So the OP should be prepared for that response. There are some colleges that do not take NCP information into consideration, and those schools should be on the list. Also if there are some financial/admission safeties included, whatever else is truly fine to try. But, the OP should be aware of the pitfalls.</p>

<p>Personally, unless I have to ask “what parent?” or know that the other parent is abusive, in jail, outof the picture, etc, I would not certify a NCP waiver for someone. Certainly not in this case where that parent is involved, has a relationship and will even provide a place for the kid to live. Absolutely not, with that info. He should be on the hook for the college bills for those schools that want NCP info. </p>

<p>But as in all cases, the OP should explore all option. JMO in terms of what I would do or say, faced with this situation.</p>

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<p>Also, even if the parent is abusive and there is a restraining order, that does not still automatically mean, that parent is not going to be on the hook for paying for college. If he is paying through high school and decides that he won’t pay another cent and the law back him up, too bad for the kid. My friend who was in that situation lives in PA and child support ends at age 18 or when the kid graduates high school, and not a single school would take the father’s refusal to pay, along with some abusive behaviour into consideration. He has the money, he is liable. In that case, a minister, social worker, school official would gladly sign off on a NCP waiver due to the behavior and problems with that parent, but colleges still may not buy into it. They do not have to go along with the waiver, as that is just a request, and as Sybbie says, it is getting increasingly difficult to get a school to agree, especially those that meet full need.</p>

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<p>In addition, parent should make sure that there is a financial safety on the list along with schools where her D stands a good chance of obtaining merit money.</p>

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<p>You are absolutely right. Any school official who wants to remain employed is not going to do this for Op. There are just too many ways that it can come back and bite the school official in the butt, which would be immediate termination and/or loss of license.</p>

<p>I had kids who 3/4 years ago got waivers where kids who were in the same situation this year did not receive waivers.</p>

<p>I had a student whose has one deceased parent and the other parent is currently incarcerated for 37 years. The kid is in legal guardianship with aunt. Kid was independent for FAFSA, but had to go through a lot of hoops in getting letters, copies or court records for guardianship/ records for the incarceration just to get NYS aid, TAP (where you can be a dependent student until you are 35)</p>

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<p>I am extremely familiar with the situation because my niece was granted a waiver from 2 ivies, 7 schools in the top 30, every single school that offered admission. The parents were never married, had an agreement, but no contact, no abuse involved, and child support was paid since birth. The father makes over 150k. It was not even a case that the tax return can not be provided. When mom was calling the different schools, one of the students answering the phone connected her directly to a fa officer that had similar personal circumstances very compassionately walked her on the details, what to write, what papers needed, what the process is. That fa officer explained that longevity on non-financial support/contact are very important as schools worry that parents try to abuse the system, parents even divorce trying to game the system. Non-marriage is a significant factor when issues like waivers arise. Lots of papers to support the situation, nice written letter by the parent detailing the situation and staying on topic. Appeals are evaluated and granted by a committee, not the individual fa officer. It takes time to collect the papers/evidence but if one does not apply will not have any possibility to obtain the waiver.</p>

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<p>How long ago did this happen? Did the waiver hold for subsequent years?</p>

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<p>Ana, I, am not saying that a NCP waiver cannot be obtained. That this parent was not in the picture might have been a reason that a waiver was even obtained. For the OP, with the given facts, I wouldn’t sign off on the waiver, so she will have to find someone who will. Then it’s up to the individual schools as to what they want to do. . We are just pointing out to the OP that what she is intending to do has some major risks to it. </p>

<p>In situations that one gets the second hand story, often all of the facts are not on the table. And this is a second hand story, as are all of our anecdotes. We are just swapping tales and experences here and offering our opinions. Everyone should have a financial/admissions safety any ways, so if the OP’s D has one, then she is covered. She can shoot for the moon once she does that.</p>

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<p>^^She got the waiver two years ago and subsequently did not have to file other appeals. </p>

<p>I just wanted to bring the personal example so people understand the circumstances but also the possibilities. The schools policies were written baed on the average family where parents are married for years, then divorce. Absence of the parent since the early years, or non-marriage, make a strong case towards establishing non-parental involvement. But tangible proof is needed. As cptain said, many non-custodial parents behave just like some families that they do not believe they should contribute anything towards tuition because they have their retirement, early retirement, travel plans, purchase of new car, oh so many frivolous expenses, and after all they are only middle class even though they make over 200k a year. Indeed, every one should have a financial safety but also should not hesitate to apply to a ncs-profile school. Most important, do not procrastinate until after admissions is offered. Be proactive and send all the info in advance. Do not readjudigate the bitterness, hostility among parents, but make your case in a clear manner and support it through evidence why you should get the waiver.</p>

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<p>Sorry if this reply is somewhat off-topic. If a non-custodial parent refuses to provide needed documents for FAFSA, can’t the child or the custodial parent take them to court in an attempt to aquire the information needed? I realize that this action would have to be taken fairly early in the application process, but is it a viable option?</p>

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<p>I admit that I am not an attorney, but under what process would you be taking them to court to obtain access to their financial records?</p>

<p>You are probably better off trying to improve the relationship so they will comply voluntarily.</p>

<p>You also don’t need NCP for Fafsa only schools.</p>

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<p>Three, FAFSA doesn’t require NCP info.</p>

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<p>Three4three, yes you can take the non-custodial parent to court for any process that requires him to sign a form or produce a paper for the benefit of the child and the judge can compel the NCP to produce documents, etc. However, in this situation, you should not submit the financial information of the NCP. Instead request a waiver from the school not to file the CCS profile for the NCP. If you submit the financial info then they would take it under consideration.</p>

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<p>Are you saying that a judge can make a parent produce financial documents for the PROFILE or other financial aid docs for a non-minor child? I’m not really sure if this is true… at least not in all states. </p>

<p>I’m sure you could try, but I don’t think the judge can force it…</p>

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<p>Even if the NCP turns in his/her financial documents, that does not obligate him/her to pay for school.</p>