<p>My brother had similar problems as a college student 20 years ago. We attributed it to a few setbacks, being one of the boys, and being an athlete. He was a handsome, outgoing boy who "liked a good party". Soon it was apparent that his kind of partying was different than other kids...more intense and he always managed to get in caught. Then he had a DUI. Then it was out of control. He's been in and out of AA for most of his life, almost drinking himself to death several times. I can't help but wonder...if I'd pushed him to get help earlier, would things have been better? Take my advice, tell your brother to take a year off and get his life together. AA changes lives, before drinking problems ruin lives and after.</p>
<p>"I haven’t read most of the posts here. So maybe this has already been said. But, is there a problem with the OP’s brother taking off for a year, getting a job, getting some insight on alcohol abuse with a counselor, and then going back to Syracuse a changed man? Were it my own kid, I think I would encourage this instead of having him just hightail it to Tulane without dealing with the destructive issues in his life."</p>
<p>I think you are right; he does need some time to introspectively reflect. My issue though is with the school. After the first incident they should have attempted to help, but instead they allowed it to spiral out of control and just brushed him aside to avoid a possible law suit.</p>
<p>
[quote]
The first time he pays a fine, the next time he gets suspended. They should have put him on probation first.
[/quote]
I think he essentially was on probation after being caught the first time. I imagine that at least then he knew what the consequences would be if he was caught again yet he broke the rules again and was caught. </p>
<p>I hope he pulls it together and does well from here on out. I also hope he can scrape up enough money for at least a room air conditioner (Atlanta in summer!!!).</p>
<p>I agree with Scansmom:</p>
<p>
[quote]
Absolutely it's fear of lawsuits. Colleges often either look the other way or give you a slap on the wrist for "minor" alcohol infractions. Otherwise, as others have stated, they'd risk losing a huge number of their student population. But if the infraction is at a level where there are possible liability issues at stake, they take action, and often, regardless of whether it is a first offense or not.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I believe that there are sometimes mixed messages, even though official policies are very clear. Still, everyone should know the law, and everyone should know the official policy.</p>
<p>{“Let me help a bit.”</p>
<p>Sod off! }</p>
<p>:) OK.</p>
<p>“Your situation is one where they are going die anyway. This father did this because he valued his son's life more than 10 other people. I don't expect you to understand...yet, but think about the senario you've created.”</p>
<p>"Yes, the father probably did value his son’s life over ten people, but he also realized it would be selfish of him to have ten people killed to save his son."</p>
<p>How would he save his son, they were in a concentration camp? No different when the Romans surrounded the jews on that mountain fortress(Masada?). They were going to die, they knew it, they took their own lives rather than let someone else do it. </p>
<p>" It is our natural instinct to protect our offspring, even to the death, and yet he didn’t. Why?"</p>
<p>He did, you just don't understand what happened. What he did was out of love for his son, not the other 10. Truly try to think about a hopeless situation and what you would do for your children. It's been done for ages. There's alot of history behind my point. </p>
<p>" It wasn’t to spare his son of pain, but it was a moral decision to save others."</p>
<p>He saved no one. 12-14 million people died in concentration camps. Very few were saved. His decision to spare those 10 probably just put off their deaths temporarily. He did them no favors. </p>
<p>{“Please find any point where I have used a political boundry? C'mon read what I am saying. My kid... my kid is the most important to me.”</p>
<p>You stated that you would prefer a child in another country to die rather than a child in your own.}</p>
<p>And the alternative would be? :)</p>
<p>"So, that would be a political statement, as they are not your children, so you share no parental obligation and therefore you evidently value your nation’s offspring more."</p>
<p>How do you attach my "nation" to my offspring? I could just as easily be Canadian as well as American. I still would not want my child to attend a war I don't believe in. </p>
<p>Your hung up on the claim that Bill Clinton allowed 500,000 children to die because of the no fly zone and enforcements on Iraq between Bushes in the White house. That's the basis of your begining arguement with me. There's a guy who posts that all the time. </p>
<p>My point is if were to invade a country to save children, what about africa? Please tell me how many children were saved by our invasion of Iraq? Would I want to commit my kid to this follie, no. I also don't want anyone with children in the service to have their kids in there without a clear honest reason to be there. I view this administration the same way I view the French leadership in WWI, aristocrats detached from the people they send to die. Troops are just chess pieces to them. </p>
<p>" I vehemently disagree with that and ergo my previous statement is applicable “Imaginary borders also do not detract from the importance of human life, which you seem to think they do.”" </p>
<p>You still don't get it. </p>
<p>“Which side of this fence are you on? You've spent most of your posts explaining why underage drinking is OK in your opinion, now it's not?”</p>
<p>"No, I think it is acceptable; however, you don’t."</p>
<p>Really? are you sure? :) aren't you confusing underage drinking with drinking till ya pass out? If you drink till you pass out at ANY age, you have a problem. Don't you? </p>
<p>If you have to drink, when you drink to such a degree that you aren't aware of your situation and have impared yourself in such a way that you pose a risk to both yourself or others... isn't it a problem? </p>
<p>IF underage drinking by your definition means getting pass out drunk every time, then Yes I guess you're correct, I don't support it. I support the reasonable use of alcohol, food and other things. I don't care if someone under the legal age drinks as long as it is done in moderation. </p>
<p>It's called learning your limits. Just about everyone goes through it. If after once or twice getting too buzzed, you're still drinking till you pass out, you have a problem. </p>
<p>{I am a guy by the way.}</p>
<p>Are you an EMO guy? :)</p>
<p>Sorry you are a very empathetic guy for your age. That's a compliment by the way. You're attempting to argue about two or three different points with me. Let's either focus on one at a time or do it via PMs. This post is about alcohol abuse and the consquences, not nazi concentration camps or "geopolitical immaginary boundries" in relation to child mortality. How bout you stick to too much beer on this one?</p>
<p>...........Sorry you are a very empathetic guy for your age. That's a compliment by the way. You're attempting to argue about two or three different points with me. Let's either focus on one at a time or do it via PMs. This post is about alcohol abuse and the consquences, not nazi concentration camps or "geopolitical immaginary boundries" in relation to child mortality. How bout you stick to too much beer on this one..........</p>
<p>Thank you - good idea :)</p>