Greetings,
We are 5 days out and another question came to mind. Can those with experience speak to the scaffolding/hand-holding boarding schools provide for incoming 9th graders? Or do most schools just throw the kids to the wolves and hope for the best? I have heard Choate, Exeter, and Andover and pretty much ‘sink or swim’ as the kids are on their own like college. Is that really the case? Yikes! I’d love to hear about your family’s experience!
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Can’t attest to the current state of BS guidance but assume it’s the same as college still. It was definitely sink or swim when I went. We lost through attrition (or expulsion) 4-5% of the freshman class yearly through graduation which of course gives opportunities for others to be admitted Forms 4-6. Why else send a kid away from home at 13/14 yrs of age unless he/she can manage through the process of trial/error/self analysis? Freshman year is most difficult for mama’s boys and daddy’s girls (ie the false bravado associated with coddled parenting).
So… do you have kids in BS? Was this your experience? While I thank you for your comments, I was hoping for more specific descriptions of the freshman experience, and how kids blossomed through the process. Thanks again!
My kid’s freshman year was some time ago, but I would say it was somewhere in the middle. They provided a structured week long orientation on managing academics – everything from managing a schedule, creating project and srudy plans, how to use consultations, library resources, etc. The school 's philosophy was definitely one of self-discovery and self-learning, so the kids had the ability to slide down pretty far. There were not, as there were at some schools we looked at, supervised study halls and a lot of structure that prevented coming off the rails.
But if you came off, there was a lot of mentoring and resources to help you get back on track. These included scheduled times at the learning center, mandated consultations, even school-provided tutors, etc. The idea was that it was more important to learn how to recover from sinking than to think you could swim because you were wearing a flotation device.
Fwiw, this approach worked great for kids who ultimately cared about their performance and those who could be “scared straight.” Lessons from failures seem to be very memorable! But DS also said, after the fact, that he had a lot of classmates who were smart and capable who would have benefited from more/earler intervention - they were the students who just didn’t care enough/yet. My kid really learned to own his own learning experience this way, and it served him well in college and now at work. This is very specific to each kid.
At that time, there were trimesters but only the final grade was put on your transcript. The grade for trimester 1 was described as “what your grade would be if class ended here”, but most teachers recognized that improvement was possible (and may have included some trimester 1 material on the final), so it was possible to recover from a bad start. I think this also softened the impact (and stress) around derailments as well.
Personally, I think this is one of the biggest ways in which schools differ. As a parent, it’s important to understand what the school’s attitude is around this, especially if you think your kid may evolve on this front.
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DS23 goes to what CC likes to call a small, nurturing boarding school. Incoming 9th graders eat all meals with their dorms for the first 2 weeks. DS was looking back on this recently and stating that he didn’t realize it at the time but not having to look for someone you know when walking into the dining hall was a big load off his mind when he started school. They also do a ton of activities together as either a dorm or grade. DS has been a prefect for freshmen the last two years and walks them through everything in the beginning from how to tie their tie, checks in with the in the morning to make sure they meet dress code, helps them find wherever they need to be, etc. Even the coursework seemed to ease them into BS. It seemed that it was more about building habits in the beginning than about the actual academics.
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I would say that culturally, our school provided a lot of supports and points of connection for incoming students so that they could integrate happily into the community and mimimize that social stress. Everyone was part of several cohorts that met regularly - whether a team, dorm floor, advisory, work “shift”, etc that helped ensure you’d know a lot of people and find the ones you clicked with.
@vwlizard is so right to point out that being at ease socially makes it much easier to deal with academics.
These answers are so thoughtful and greatly appreciated! With this in mind, and knowing what you now know through experience, what questions would you ask during the revisit days to get a truthful answer as to how kids are supported in 9th grade… I’m sure all schools will tell the parents how great they are at this, but we all know that is not always the case. Any suggestions would be very helpful and appreciated!
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Hmmm…
Are there required study halls? For whom?
Does the school do an orientation on study skills?
If a student is falling behind in a class, what happens? Does the teacher initiate consultations? Is there peer tutoring? Who initiates that? Ever required?
Are there grades first term? (Some schools give as guidance to help understand expectations but don’t record. Maybe @confusedaboutFA can comment - if they still do this at L’ville).
Ask students where they study. Ask how they met their closest friends. Do dorms/houses have activities together? What groups are new students a part of?
I’d also ask students how competitive they think other study are. Our school was super collaborative, and I think this made it easier for kids to ask for help in general and from each other.
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FANTASTIC! Thanks so much!!
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Is there a required, supervised study hall?
How often do students see their advisors? (Lunches, advisor periods, etc)
How do you keep students from falling through the cracks? What happens when a student needs an academic or social intervention?
Is it a “1 strike” school? What steps are taken for disciplinary infractions (VERY important to know)
What happens if there are roommate disagreements (most schools are very good at matching up roommates, but you never know).
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Exeter is pass/fail the first trimester which is very helpful for students to adjust to harkness and being on their own. They also have vertical housing and the older kids are really great resources for peer tutoring and offering guidance to the preps.
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Removed by author - wrong Forum.
Knowing some new faculty are very young (at least IME) and/or new to boarding school, I’d want to know what training the school provides faculty on noticing warning signs in kids --things like homesickness/disengagement/depression, etc. and how they are supposed to engage in those situations. Overall, what is protocol for working with a kid they are worried about… how do you avoid kids slipping through cracks, etc.
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Emma Willard I’d call a high support school. It’s the only school I know, but here’s what’s offered.
Freshmen have a mandatory study hall in room for first year. Tutors available for all subjects, although it might be an older student. Open hours tutoring for writing and math. The freshman have an advisor, but then pick an advisor for the next three years.
The first semester grades as estimates only and not on a transcript. By spring there is a grade but parents can’t access the grade book. This probably reduces stress on the kids overall. I do notice I get immediate notice of any absences or tardies.
Social supports are good. Some of the kids train as Wellies or student advisors for mental health, and also a mental health hangout and relaxation room. These kids will nominate students for professional mental health services if needed.
EWS has a lot of social events and dances for the year, as well as open maker spaces. My understanding is that EWS wants to increase weekend activities.
Edit: once a week the girls meet advisor, Emma Ready counselor, and tech in a group meeting. The Emma Ready class is a nice way to address the health class requirement of NY.
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I wish more people would include the school they are referencing as it would help parents get to know the schools better with this first hand perspective. Thank you!
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@nat1969 - Can you speak to your child’s experience at Williston this year? I think you said in another thread that they have a very good 9th grade program to foster community and get the kids in the rhythm of boarding school.
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At Andover, English and Art are Pass/Fail for the first term. Besides that, it is definitely sink or swim. There are a lot of resources, such as peer tutoring and conference periods. The kids also all help each other. They all want each other to succeed. However, it is up to the kids to put in the time, effort, and to seek out teachers, peers from their classes, or resources.
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@DrPrimo As a parent of a first-time applicant, I don’t have any experience to offer, but I wanted to thank you for yet another interesting post to engage us as we wait …! 
You have elicited some very useful indicators of where a school lies on the scaffolding spectrum, which make great lines of enquiry!
Hoping that the planets align for your DC on 10 March! 
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We wrongly assumed there would be a very nurturing environment with lots of daily touch points with multiple adults (dorm parents, advisors, coaches, teachers) that we’d receive some feedback from. That has not been the case at our children’s school which was different than previous family experiences (maybe Covid?; result of all of the sexual assault and other issues from years past?). Good thing to ask about in revisits.
I think most schools have mandatory study hall for 9th and 10th graders at least but it’s typically in their rooms unless a school offers an evening office hours option. I’m sure most schools offers orientation for a few days but this is typically more student driven. But if your child or you are looking for a very high touch, nurturing environment where everyone knows your child, etc. then I’d suggest considering some of the smaller schools. For the larger and more academically challenging schools more independence and resiliency are expected.
Best of luck!
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My impression is that my boarding school has social supports and touch points for the kids, but not necessarily for the parents. It’s a bit unnerving being in the dark, but my kid seems to like controlling her personal info and status.
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