<p>We're interested in applying to schools that are fairly structured regarding things like: (1) internet use in the evening (2) lights out (3) schedules generally.
Our S does so much better in that environment, and he really can't handle a schedule that is completely open. He might outgrow this through adolescence, but that's where he is now. Any schools jump out as good candidates?</p>
<p>Is he open to the all-boys schools? They typically are a bit more structured in that way. Even if he is hesitatant, I would see if you can get him to visit one or two. At the very least get the view book from Trinity-Pawling. They do a great job in it telling the all-boys story in the boys point of view.<br>
In any case, those schools are Trinity-Pawling, Avon Old Farms, Salisbury.</p>
<p>Although, to be fair, most schools we visited were fairly structured. Westminster, NMH, Canterbury, Cushing, Suffield, Deerfield all have various versions of required study hall, various lights out times and structure. St Pauls has the least structure of the schools we visited and generally of all the schools as far as we can tell. Some have later times for Juniors and Seniors. </p>
<p>I'm sure there are plenty of others. We were in your shoes and absolutely needed structure. </p>
<p>The boys schools though (I'm biased I know...) really do "know boys" and keep them busy, and help them learn to "outgrow" the need for structure.</p>
<p>I have two friends that I have known since we were all 6 years old and they go to McCallie in Tennessee. They were immature(I was too... I can't point fingers) and my mom said it best, "When they came back they had their shoulders high and sat straight. Really something you need"</p>
<p>I agree with Linda, of course! :)</p>
<p>The all-boys school, much like the real world, will not tolerate excuses, slacking off, showing off, etc. Not that the boys won't try. Kids at any BS will find a way to skirt the rules and test the rules and do everything but the action that is specifically prohibited.</p>
<p>At a boy's school there is no fluff, and the boys are accountable for their actions. My son has forgotten to eat, turn in his laundry, and get his allowance. So he's gone hungry, had no clean clothes, and no money. It is a miracle that he gets out of bed on time...but he survives and is learning to be independent and responsible.</p>
<p>Culver Academies in Indiana provides a structured coeducational boarding school environment. The boys' school, Culver Military Academy (CMA), uses military traditions in order to provide structure and opportunities for student leadership. Culver Girls Academy (CGA), is based upon the English prefect system. At CMA, each living unit has student leaders with military ranks and all the boys have "duties" or chores to keep the barracks (dorms) clean, safe and orderly. Daily inspections insure that living spaces are tidy and that roommates learn to work together as a team for a common goal. The internet is shut down at 10:30 pm (much to the students' chagrin) and lights out is enforced depending upon whether or not it is a school night, with some leeway given to upperclassmen. In the afternoon, following classes, each boy has an athletic requirement. If they are participating on a sports team, this is when their practices and/or games occur, though some games are in the evening. If they play a sport during the evening, they must attend a study period in the afternoon to get their homework/studying done. If a boy is not on a sports team, he must participate in an intramural sport or go to the fitness center. Meals are during specific hours and for breakfast, each unit marches to the dining hall together to make sure they eat breakfast. After dinner, from 7:30 - 9:30 is an enforced study time, when each cadet is expected to be in their room and at their desk. Adult mentors walk the hallways and look into each room through a glass window that cannot be blocked by younger students. After study hours there can be unit leader meetings and scheduled duties before lights out.</p>
<p>Our oldest son graduated last year and thrived within this structure, though he grew understandably tired of the rigidity by the end of junior year. Seniors do have extra priveleges, including their own building where they can gather together to study during the evening study period, prepare snacks and generally socialize. Seniors are also given more times when they are allowed to go into town to shop, have a meal or just hang out with friends. Of course, these priveleges are taken away if a boy is doing poorly academically or has broken school rules. In such cases, they revert to the rules of the underclassmen. Our youngest son is a sophomore this year and he has always created his own structure. Therefore, adapting to Culver's system was a no brainer for him.</p>
<p>Two misconceptions of Culver are that the boys go on to be in the military. Only a couple of graduates each year go on to one of the service academies, the same percentage as from any other high school. Second, admission to Culver is extremely competitive and they will not accept behavior problems. If a student breaks the drinking or drugs policy or has another honor code violation, they are stripped of all earned rank and priveleges and generally given a second chance. If they have a second violation of a drinking or drug policy, they are gone - no matter who their parents might be. Each semester students have been forced to leave, usually at great distress to their parents and themselves, even as late as a month before graduation. Consequences are known up front and consequences are enforced. Most high school boys whose parents are committed to the Culver tradition graduate as young men of honor and character who are confident, well rounded and ready to succeed in a world of adults.</p>
<p>I think many of the schools do have restrictions on internet use, lights out, etc., particularly for 9th graders. At Choate, for 9th graders, the wireless connection for internet use is cutoff at 8 pm (this time is adjusted as you progress through the years, but do not know the details for 10, 11, & 12). Study hours are required from 7:30-9, then a short break, then again from 9:30-10:30. Lights out for 9th/3rd formers is 10:45 on school nights (and students and do request early lights out, if they've completed their homework, and want to go to bed earlier, as well as late lights, if they need extra time for special reason.) There is also a very detailed sign in/sign out policy on weekends with dorm, so that a student can't be off campus from Friday evening through Sunday evening, without prior permission. From my observation, seems like they are kept quite busy; for instance, all students are required to do a sport/or participate in theater production, which involves at least a 1.5 hour commitment every day, in addition to school work (and parents can easily check out daily events, happenings, and each child's particular schedule through internet weblink.) </p>
<p>Again, I think many of the schools have similar internet/ and study hour requirements. Would be interesting to hear about others.</p>
<p>Thank you LindaS. Many of the schools you mentioned are ones we are looking at, which is encouraging. I wish we had begun this 10 months ago! We actually hadn't paid attention to co-ed vs. all-boys, but we will. Part of our motivation for considering BS's is that he attends an all-boys boarding camp in the summers and is completely transformed -- rested, active, engaged, mentally alert, and happy. The camp also doesn't allow ANY electronics. As a parent in the internet age, it's difficult to sort out what's causing what. I hope that makes sense.</p>
<p>Hi eballen501- Thanks for your post. I'm not sure whether or not my son would thrive in that environment. He is at heart an earnest, hard-working, bright boy, and whenever something rings of being "punitive," he balks. He's not defiant at all; he just likes order.</p>
<p>Thanks Skibum4 - The Choate policy sound exactly like what he needs to be happy and to do well. I don't know that he could get into Choate; he hasn't yet taken the SSAT, so I'd love to know about other schools that have similar policies.</p>
<p>my son needed (and wanted) some structure and rules when he went to school. He is thriving at NMH -- just enough rules and follow-up, without being so punitive that the kids spend all their time plotting to get around the rules.</p>
<p>Great to see you back here Stef. We've missed you!</p>
<p>raisincane - feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions about the all-boys schools. I'm not an expert, but we did spent a siginificant amount of time at them and researching them and my son is (duh) attending one of them.</p>
<p>Thanks hsmomstef
Can you please tell me more about NMH. It's one of the schools we especially like, and I'm trying to picture him there. I'm interested in how the structure of the school would help him to compartmentalize his day without his being aware of that. He is a different person when he is fully rested, caught up, and stress free. I know that's true of everyone, but more dramatically so for him.</p>
<p>St Andrew's (Del) has a similar rules to the ones skibum lists above for Choate. There is no internet in dorm rooms at all, only in lounges, mandatory study halls from 8-10 every night, lights out times, sitdown lunches with faculty members, and mandatory chapel on Sundays. The students need permission to go off campus on weekends or for errands. </p>
<p>I think the structure is a good thing.</p>
<p>hmm well its about 12-1 o'clock in NH right now and I am currently talking to an Exeter sophomore through MySpace. It just depends in the dorm you live in, but from what I can tell Dumbar, Lamont, Bancroft, and Amen are all pretty laxed about their rules.</p>