<p>I suppose I should be thrilled my kid is so involved at school, but this is overdoing it. A senior who is taking a full heavy load of AP and Honors classes and recently he's the lead in a school play. Practice has been all week, for weeks. When he's not involved in theatre, he's the editor of our school's newspaper or tutoring for extra cash. </p>
<p>Today he came home at 4:00 (after going to the gym) and slept until he left at 5:45pm for the show's opening at 7:00. It's now after 10:15pm and he's still not home. When he does get home, he'll start homework. Maybe it's just me, but I think kids these days are totally exhausted.</p>
<p>And yes, he's doing fine in school. I know he'll totally love being away at college, but right now, he has school that starts at 6:50am. How do your kids cope with all the demands of school + sports + ECs?</p>
<p>Student here. I sound alot like your S. Full AP load, editor of yearbook and on the paper staff and I stage manage our musical. We’ve been doing 4 hour rehearsal for weeks. </p>
<p>I def. burn the candle at both ends. I’ve learned to nap when I can, but mostly, have just learned to deal with the constant exhaustedness(if that’s even a word). Most overinvolved kids are complete zombies functioning on about 5 hours a night</p>
<p>This is just what these high-achieving kids seem to do and is part of what separates them from some others. As long as they’re doing it at their own initiative and not being overly forced to do so by the parents and are coping with it okay, I think it’s fine. Besides, it’s good prep if they decide to take a rigorous major and schedule in college where it can actually be even more challenging (and less sleep). They’re young and capable.</p>
<p>Congrats on having such a hard working and high achieving S.</p>
<p>My niece is in college studying medicine( she is 20). She took her RN in a two year college program- that is her full time job- but nurses hours, which means 12 hr shifts. and school.
plus she still has time to play l’il baby rabbit lost on the farm looking for the baby orca on facebook! ;)</p>
<p>But, for comparison, I am taking 2 graduate engineering courses right now, 3 online courses at a community college, and working 60 hour weeks at my job. I’m 30 and absolutely loving it right now.</p>
<p>I will say that I don’t see how he can do well in AP classes if he doesn’t start homework until 10:15…I did AP Chemistry in high school and it took hours of homework every night.</p>
<p>One thing that he should be reminded of is to do things well. I don’t see a lot of value in taking a full load of AP classes if he doesn’t pass the exams at the end.</p>
<p>I keep thinking about starting a thread titled “3.0- Parent of 4.0+ Kid.”</p>
<p>I don’t know how my kid does what she does. I get tired just watching her. Even when we’re watching Jersey Shore, she’s doing AP physics homework and laughing at the show.</p>
<p>She can multitask. </p>
<p>I cannot.</p>
<p>She doesn’t take vitamins.</p>
<p>I do.</p>
<p>She sleeps 6 hours per night. </p>
<p>I need 8+.</p>
<p>I am happy she is happy, but I do wish she’d chill more. I don’t know her secret. Kids are superhuman these days.</p>
<p>It was hard to watch S1. in High School-I knew at the time it was what it took these days to get into a top school, but looking back, I have a haunting feeling it was a form a child abuse. </p>
<p>I got up at 4:00am to start work first at 5:30am, then 5:00 (East Coast time,turned into global time) I did this for 25 plus years so I could be home by 3:00 pm when the kids were out of school. I know from experience the effects of total exhaustion. And these kids bodies are still developing. </p>
<p>Now he is in university and having the time of his life, academically and socially. He was certainly prepared for college, but why are these kids doing college in High school too? Sheesh, He even took college classes while in High school during the summers- no break. </p>
<p>Still feel bad about his high school years, maybe I was suppose to Just Say No to the crazy schedule.</p>
<p>My kids were pretty busy, until they crashed VERY BADLY, both now with chronic health conditions. It endured for about 10 years, through college. At some points, we are not certain what would happen for them in terms of getting to college.</p>
<p>In 6th grade, S was teaching everyone how to scan & get things copy ready for the school yearbook, on 3 basketball, 2 soccer teams and also boy scouts, as well as doing great in school.</p>
<p>I just read The Overachievers, which was recommended by someone on CC. It’s quite good. It’s about this “issue.” It might be interesting to you. </p>
<p>The kids get on a treadmill in junior high and it turns into a hamster wheel by the time they hit high school. In college, they go to classes later and less often, have a basic commitment to some ECs if they want and they sleep a lot more, relax a lot more. </p>
<p>My oldest son burned that candle at both ends in high school – 13 APs (6 his senior year), school president, captain of a state champion academic team, president of a community service organization, tutoring all the time for the National Honor Society, part-time job, setting up for this function or that function, applying to and visiting colleges, etc. </p>
<p>He does multi-task extremely well. He crashes for 12 hours on a Saturday, and then gets up and does it all again. He’s now in college. He is doing the same types of things there. And he’s very happy.</p>
<p>I worry about my daughter and the amount of sleep that she gets. She trains for multiple sports year round, six days a week. She is captain in a fall sport and spring sport where she has many responsibilites, mainly fundraising. She also has a rigorous courseload at school, 4 APs, 3 honors and an honors course online. She is also President of Key Club. She rarely gets more than six hours of sleep during the school week. She tries to sleep in on Sunday, but often has athletic events or community service projects that prohibit that. Plus, studies have shown that you can’t “catch up” on lost sleep. The sleep you miss on a daily basis is lost forever! </p>
<p>I worry that the sleep deprivation will affect her health and I am sure that it has already affected her performance, both academically and athletically. She is physically exhausted nearly every day!</p>
<p>Our house went through LOTS of discussion about this just before junior year when things seemed to really pile on. My main concern at that time was doing homework until midnight and not getting enough sleep. </p>
<p>I have since realized that actually my S seems to do best when he has a full schedule (or overfull ) Give him more open breaks of time and he doesn’t schedule himself well. He’s happy socially, meeting deadlines and getting excellent grades and loving all his EC’s. I also noticed that he too will often come home from school at 4pm - literally crash for an hour (sleeping) and then wake up and get started with his 2nd day - evening activities and EC’s. So while I hate that he’s going to bed after midnight and up at 7am, I think that burst of nap gives him his second wind and works for him. </p>
<p>I have talked to him though, about getting in the habit of setting his phone alarm so that he limits the “nap”. Once he is away at school and doesn’t have me or the family activity to wake him up, I’m worried the “nap” will turn into a 3 hour slumber. :)</p>
<p>My daughter is one of these “overachievers.” First and foremost are her grades as she won’t accept anything below an A. After that she juggles a varsity sport, singing in a church group, volunteering weekly at a local elementary school and at other events as needed, three honor’s clubs, website design and maintenance for various clients and theater, which as any parent with a child in theater knows is horribly time consuming. In addition she has a boyfriend of almost three years and he is just as busy. </p>
<p>I don’t know how she does it, but I do know that I handle a lot of her household chores when the school load gets too crazy. She insists she has enjoyed every minute of high school and is happy she has been so involved, but she is also looking to do nothing this summer before college. Now at college she is already talking about joining a community service organization, an intramural sport (volleyball), volunteering with a professor in research and major in biochemistry. As crazy as I think she is I think she will do it and do it well. </p>
<p>Anyway, I really think that these type of kids are happy being like this and it is good they get the experiences from doing so much before they have kids of their own and are too tired to join everything. :)</p>
<p>I think the schedules are too much for the AP/IB students. We had one student fall asleep at the wheel and drive into a tree (Thank God she survived). </p>
<p>One thing that falls off in the lives of these hyper busy teens is any contribution to household work. I don’t think that sets them up to be good life partners at all. But it is hard to tell a kid that it’s his turn to clean the potty when every day is packed.</p>
<p>“I don’t see a lot of value in taking a full load of AP classes if he doesn’t pass the exams at the end.” </p>
<p>There is lots of value to AP (and IB) classes, if that is what the student wants. Remember that many of these students will go to colleges that don’t even accept AP/IB credits. But yes, it is nice if students can survive the classes without sleep deprivation. </p>
<p>This is a verrrrry busy year for my senior son (5 IB classes, lots for music, etc). He is a fine student and we rarely interfere, but I am so glad we said No on an extra IB that he did not need. </p>
<p>Parents of Juniors - be aware that senior year will have added burden of college apps (and essays!), college trips, etc. Students really do need a free block for chasing down paperwork, making up tests, etc. Encourage at least one free block.</p>
<p>I fought hard with our school to allow our kids to come home early so they could relax before they went to their ballet classes. I made D2 choose between violin and piano when I thought her schedule was too hectic. I never scheduled anything academic for them over the summers. We traveled and they spend time on their ECs when school wasn’t in session. When D1 wanted to do a play, she had an understanding with her drama teacher to let her show up when she needed to be in the rehearsal. </p>
<p>I am in a very demanding job, but it is important for me to not allow other people to control my time.I believe often more is not more. It is important to know when to say no.</p>
<p>bigtrees: I agree, taking AP classes is overkill if you don’t do well in the final tests. So far, my son has all 5s (Phys, Chem, US His, US Gov, Comp Gov, Eng).</p>
<p>Olymom: my son still manages to do his “regular” chores which is to empty the dishwasher and take out the trash.</p>
<p>Luckily he drives to all his activities so I don’t have to pick him up late at night.</p>
<p>Anyway, I think it’s how kids are programed these days…always on the go. Even when he’s home and it’s downtime, he’s on FB. The one thing I miss though, before senior year got so super busy: seeing him relaxing with a classic (not required reading) book. He’ll get back into that routine, I’m sure, but senior year is just too much fun.</p>
) Give him more open breaks of time and he doesn’t schedule himself well. He’s happy socially, meeting deadlines and getting excellent grades and loving all his EC’s. I also noticed that he too will often come home from school at 4pm - literally crash for an hour (sleeping) and then wake up and get started with his 2nd day - evening activities and EC’s. So while I hate that he’s going to bed after midnight and up at 7am, I think that burst of nap gives him his second wind and works for him. </p>