<p>We hear a lot of talk about buyer's remorse on CC, but not so much about it's opposite: cognitive dissonance. In the former you feel awful after making a commitment, in the latter you feel that your decision was great.</p>
<p>Around here it's all been about cognitive dissonance. Since Tulane accepted my son in October we've found ourselves glorifying everything about the school: Bourbon Street, the president of the university, the honors program, NOLA, Cajun cuisine, beignets, jazz. That is, up until April when UVa and Rice accepted him RD. UVA just played a brief role in the decision process, but once we decided on Rice, Tulane just didn't seem so special anymore. It's not so much that we look down on Tulane, but now you can't convince us that Rice is more than one degree removed from paradise. We're all convinced that Rice is perfect, absolutely perfect for him.</p>
<p>All three of us (my wife, my son and I) have spontaneously said some variation on the following: even if Stanford called and begged him to come there, we wouldn't even return the call.</p>
<p>You frequently hear that almost all students are happy with where they end up, so I'm guessing that cognitive dissonance is more common.</p>
<p>Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously. Sounds like you just changed your minds.</p>
<p>The above two posts are correct-- its not really cognitive dissonance you are describing. But that said, I understand the jubilation of that first acceptance. What a thrill!! And all that comes with it is equally thrilling. </p>
<p>While this next thought is probably a bit tangential to your question, having had one s at Rice and the other at Tulane, I understand the differences you feel. But the schools are different, with advantages and disadvantages to each. I can’t imagine either of my s’s having attended the other school. Each was just right for each son and what they were looking for in a college experience, both on and off campus. I understand your jubilation over Rice- I agree-- its hard to top. But I cant picture my younger s there any more than I can picture my older s at Tulane. </p>
<p>Maybe its like buying a new outfit-- its great and you love it, but then you buy another one, and the first one, while still great, isn’t the front one in the closet anymore. Maybe thats not a great analogy, but hopefully it makes sense. </p>
<p>@gusaspara: That’s just the first line of the Wikipedia definition. Here’s a bit more:
Once Rice is chosen over Tulane it would be very uncomfortable to see the two schools as being equivalent. But it would feel very good to see Rice as perfect. So effortlessly, our points of view shifted.</p>
<p>The dissonance would come in if, for example, you are paying much more for your s to attend Rice than Tulane. Then there might be a tendency to look at all the advantages of Rice and Houston to support the decision and reduce the dissonance. Thats where the dissonance could play in.</p>
<p>That has to do with “fit” , mythie. Their interests, their personality styles, etc. Would prefer not to get into a long rambling discussion of their personal makeup front channel, but , for example, one loved, loved LOVED the benefits of the residential college system. The other loved, loved LOVED the “traditional” freshman dorm life, and chose that over living in the honors dorm.</p>
I’m really trying to understand what you’re saying here. I agree that in the above example it is cognitive dissonance. But I don’t see how the money factor is any different than any other consideration. </p>
<p>Let’s say the price is the same. For a day or two you go through the old 2x2 matrix of Rice/Tulane and Pros/Cons. You suspend judgment and during that time both choices seem about the same. Then you choose one option, in our case Rice. Then you find that without trying you start to think more highly of Rice. How is that not cognitive dissonance? Or maybe I should say, how would the money angle make it any different? What if money doesn’t matter to me? What if Barbecue vs. Cajun or Frats vs. Residential Colleges is the really important issue? What is it about money in the decision making process that makes it any different than any other value?</p>
<p>BTW, I know that on the Internet it’s very easy to take disagreement as hostility. I hope the above comes across as friendly inquiry, which is my intent.</p>
<p>I think you misunderstand, birdrock. Its just a clasic and easy example to use. Many of the old psychology studies on cognitive dissonance revolved around the discordance between how hard someone worked on something, how much they were paid, and their evaluation of the importance of their work in order to balance the dissonance into… and this is gonna get bleeped… but the correct word is, a$$onance.</p>
<p>BTW, to clarify, the rambling I referred to above (post 10) would be on my part, droning on about my kids personalities and what about each school made them the right fit. It would be a real snoozer!!</p>
<p>Just take it easy in the distant future, when he begins to date semi-seriously. He might bring home one possible life partner in autumn, hear rave reviews, but then change and commit to a different person in Spring. :p</p>
<p>oH Gosh==Festinger’s theory? Lots of studies on joining frats; how hard it was to pledge made one think it was so worthwhile. Haven’t thought about this since the late 60’s.</p>
<p>Apllying p3t’s analogy, the harder one works to obtain the admiration of desired girl/boy, the better one feels about that person. (hopefully better ways to find a friend)</p>
<p>Re: colleges. I’d hazard a guess that the more selective a school is, the more one believes it is a better school.</p>