<p>It's too long. It's too dumb. It's too formal. It isn't formal enough. There are too many contractions. He says 'I' too much. The whole thing makes me roll my eyes and gag. And this kid thinks he's going to make it through high school with that kind of writing? He'll be lucky to get into Community College with that one.</p>
<p>Hey, whatever your comment or criticism, I want it and need it! Anybody willing to help a B student try to make it to an A school? :)</p>