can anyone critique my personal statement?

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Los Angeles
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<p>I was wondering if anyone in this sub-forum would like to critique one of my UC personal statements and point out the "good" and "crap" that's in it. I'd really appreciate it. =) No '08ers hehe.</p>

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<p><em>bump</em> 10 chars.</p>

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<p>Doesn't collegeconfidential like...sell those services oO;;</p>

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<p>they do, but I felt that it would be better to get a critique in the UCLA forum since this is actually the first prompt to the UC personal statement.</p>