<p>I'm applying to UCLA, Berkeley, and Irvine. I'd like some constructive criticism on for freshmen application prompt:</p>
<p>"Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."</p>
<p>PM me or post in this thread if you're interested. Thank you!</p>
<p>I am! Would you mind viewing mine as well?</p>
<p>Sure! Though I’m not exactly the best at critiquing.</p>
<p>But apparently, I don’t have enough posts to send private messages. Would you mind leaving your email?</p>
<p>I sent you a private message with my email!</p>
<p>Apparently they censor emails in messages. All I see are a bunch of asterisks.
Would you be able to reformat that using (at) or (dot)?</p>
<p>Hey I will! PM me 
or email laurel arroyo @ yahoo . com</p>
<p>Alright, I emailed both of you.</p>
<p>Any other takers?</p>
<p>Well, I still haven’t gotten feedback from either of you two, so…</p>
<p>anyone else willing to review it?</p>