can anyone please grade my essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>hi, can someone help grade my essay? I could only come up with one example at the time (now I can think of many) so could you guys give me some constructive criticism/advice? any feedback would be greatly appreciated!</p>

<p>Prompt:
“A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.”
Alexander Pope</p>

<p>Assignment: Do we learn more from finding out that we have made mistakes or from our successful actions? Plan your response, and then write an essay...</p>

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<p>Successful actions are great portrayals of one’s hard work; however, it is only through mistakes in which one can learn to progress further. Making mistakes is not a vice, instead, people constantly learn from their past mistakes on their road to success. </p>

<p>Michael Jordan, arguably the best basketball player of all time, is a great example of someone who learned more from his mistakes than his successes. In order to achieve accomplishments like procuring the championship ring, Jordan had to comprehend his mistakes and learn from them. Even in his rookie year, Jordan was a powerhouse on the basketball courts. However, just reaching success effortlessly did not teach Jordan anything. Receiving the Rookie of the Year award was definitely encouraging, but this wasn’t going to necessarily help him in his future endeavors in basketball. Whenever Jordan made a mistake, he would try to ameliorate these mistakes to prevent them from occurring again. Jordan said that in many games on the Bulls, he had opportunities to tie or win games; countless times he would fail to drain the 3-point shot in the clutch final minutes. Eventually, by learning how to prevent his previous failures, Jordan learned to be better. </p>

<p>In game 6 of the 1998 Finals, Jordan’s last match as a Chicago Bull, Jordan was able to make history by scoring the final go-ahead basket. Although he had failed so many times previously with missed clutch free throws, unnecessary turnovers, and failed game winners, Jordan bounced back by taking in the lessons from each mistake. He persevered to learn much more valuable lessons from his mistakes than from his earlier successes. Michael Jordan's own success shows how people are able to learn more from finding out they have made mistakes by extracting lessons from these previous failures.</p>

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<p>any feedback would be greatly appreciated!</p>

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<p>can anyone help? thanks!</p>

4

<p>This essay lacks examples as well as length. You should have at least two or three, well-developed examples for the SAT essay. I would give this a 5/12.</p>

<p>Maybe prepare a list of examples that you are comfortable with; on any essay, you can simply “plug and play.”</p>

5

<p>yeah, I agree that this essay is a little desultory considering my lack of examples/length. gotta think of more examples next time, I guess. thanks for the advice though!</p>

6

<p>How about you create FAKE examples (For more info. <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1525053-defeating-sat-essay-2-days.html)!?%5B/url%5D”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1525053-defeating-sat-essay-2-days.html)!?</a></p>

7

<p>I would say this is a 3 essay. 3’s from both readers would give you a 6.</p>

<p>Your body paragraphs are a bunch of blather. Please please please add specific examples. Also, before you use fancy-sounding words (like ameliorate), make sure you are familiar with their uses and subtleties. Oftentimes, the literal meaning of the word may fit, but its nuances make it awkward.</p>

8

<p>@enigmapanda the link doesn’t work, but I found the thread so thanks for showing me it!
@aksoccerboy i agree that there weren’t specific examples (maybe I should have added specific performances and failures Jordan had). thanks for the constructive criticism!</p>

9

<p>A good tip that always got me above a 10 was to fill both pages given. If you fill both pages, the reader cannot take off points for content or use other excuses. Although this tip is good, don’t mistake it for adding fluff. If you add fluff, it can allow points to be taken off. </p>

<p>Based on this essay, your one and only example limits you score to probably a max of 6. I would also give a +1 to fake examples because I always used 2 fake examples for my essay. This allowed to me actually enjoy writing the essay as I would try and make the craziest story but still realistic. I would write about my mother is one of the top surgeons in the world and other bs like that. You should try that if you seem to run out of time on your essays.</p>