essay advice

<p>Every humanbeing needs to take the responsibilities of his own life , without anyone outside waiting to criticize or intrudes . So, i deeply believes that people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way ,and the life of Ray kroc and that of Michael jordan makes me more and more persuaded with my thesis .</p>

<p>Ray kroc was born during a time when men and women where competing in starting their own jobs. Ray kroc suffered from diabetes , asthmas , and he had his gallblader removed ;however, He didn't wait for someone outside to help ,and he was resolute to accomplish what really motivates him ,Success . So he worked as a salesman and a driver . But being born in poverity didn't stop him . he worked till he purchased Macdonald's cooporation ,and soon he started to offer franchies till he sate the American market , then he looked over seas . nowadays macdonald's is one of the best resturants in the globe . This shows us how by being allowed to do things in our own way we achieve more .</p>

<p>Michael Jordan ,one of the best pro-basket ball player of all the time , hadbeen rejecting from playing in his high school basketball team beacuse he lacked skills ;however , He deeply believed thatthe only way to reach success is by hard working .Despite what the people said about his playing , he believed that he will only achieve success by allowing himself to do things on his own way. Nowadays we view Michael Jordan as a unique character with a different style and that style was the main reason that he achieved glory . This shows us that how by neglecting negative opinions and by giving ourselves the space we need this allow us to achieve more and more .</p>

<p>Michael jordan life's and that of Ray kroc shows us that we didn't allow ourselves to do things in our own way . then we are working for someone else to give him the space he needs to achieve success in life</p>

<p>*human being
*life,
*intrude
*I
*believe
*way, and
*Kroc
*Jordan
*thesis.
(Also, it’s bad form to say that your thesis is a thesis.)</p>

<p>*Kroc
*were
*Kroc
*diabetes and asthma, and
*help,
*motivated
*him,
*success
*driver.
*him.
*He
*until
*McDonald’s
*corporation,
*franchises
*until
I don’t know what “sate” is supposed to mean.
*market,
*overseas
*Nowadays
*McDonald’s
Best restaurants in the globe? REALLY?
*more.</p>

<p>*Jordan,
*pro basketball players
*all time,
*had been rejected
*skills;
*however, he
*he would only
*glory.
*more.</p>

<p>*Jordan’s life
*Kroc
*show us
*ways, then
*life.</p>

<p>Punctuation goes DIRECTLY AFTER the word. No space except AFTER the punctuation.
ex. Hi there. This is a sentence; there is no space between the period and the word before it.</p>

<p>Names are capitalized.
Many of these errors could have been caught with a spell-check.</p>