CAn anyone please read my activity essay?

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
1

<p>I would really appreciate it if anyone can take their time and read over my activity essay. Thanks soo muchhh!</p>

<p>My first oversea experience was visiting Thailand with my family when I was 11 years old. Since then, I have fallen in love with traveling and, without me noticing, it has become my passion. I like traveling because I enjoy discovering different culture and meeting new people. Being in a different environment with people I have never met before enables me to me more confident. Now, I find myself able to communicate more fluently and better, even if it’s just using body language. Not only that, I am proud of the knowledge and experience I have gained from each trip and it is the biggest resource and advice I have given myself in preparing to enter a new phase in life.</p>

2

<p>you can edit out extra words and make your voice more “active.”</p>

3

<p>Traveling is not an extracurricular activity. It is a vacation. I don’t think the paragraph tells the reader anything new about you – doesn’t everyone have the same reaction/growth when they visit other countries and experience new cultures?</p>

<p>Can you write about something from your EC list?</p>