Can anyone rate my essay?

Hi. I am really really really bad at SAT writing section. Like the examiner would prob get cancer just reading my essay. I would appreciate a lot if you guys can comment on my essay and give me some tips to improve.
So my essay topic is “What are your thoughts on the idea that failure is necessary for education to take place?” My friend told me my essay would prob receive 5 or 6 (and i find it hard to believe, i know its bad but i didn’t know it was that terrible). Anyways, here it is:

Alfred Pennyworth, who is a fictional character in the Batman Trilogy, once said “The reason why we fall is so that we can learn to pick ourselves up.” This quote is stating that when one has tasted failure, he or she will overcome and eventually rise as a more improved person. We cannot deny the fact that failure can be bitter but a mandatory medicine as it helps us learn from our mistake. In our lowest and most desperate point of our lives, we are prone to learn and so failure can ready our mindset in order for education to take place. Throughout history, many historical figures were able to be acknowledged as who they are now because they have learnt so much from their failures. A perfect example would be the inventor of light bulbs, Thomas Edison.
These days, Thomas Edison is one of the most prominent figures in the world. His innovative invention has enabled us to continue our daily lives nocturnally. Crossing the road at night has never been safer thanks to his invention. However, Thomas Edison would not be recognized as the man he is today if he has never experienced failure. His first attempt of building the light bulb was an absolute disaster. In spite of the outcome of his first trial, he didn’t give up and he opened his mind to new ideas and different perspectives. He hired experts to work with and invest both his time and capital in order to learn methods to create the light bulb. Every time his newest model failed, he would observe the situation and try to learn ways for the machine to function. After 2000 arduous attempts, his hard work and passion paid off as the world gets to witness one of the most ground-breaking invention in history. Thomas Edison successfully educated himself due to his numerous attempts in pursuing his dream.
Another example that failure is imperative for education to take place can be observed during the Meiji Restoration. Before this event, Japan was merely a remain of centuries of war and the outcome of seclusion from the world. The people of Japan were destitute and so the Japanese emperor decided to start the Meiji Restoration, where scholars of Japan were sent to wealthy western countries like England, the U.S and France in order to study foreign economical, political and social structure. After years of collecting information, these scholars returned to Japan so that the country itself can emulate the West and become much stronger and more developed. Eventually, Japan became the strongest nation in Asia, enabling itself to colonize a myriad of country especially Korea, China and Indonesia. Although Japan’s imperialistic era is highly controversial, its ability to turn the table from a poor country to a mighty country must be acknowledged and praised. Japan’s resurrection has shown that failure compels the mind to learn so that one can rise.
In essence, failure is extremely mandatory not just to an individual but to society itself. If it wasn’t for failure, Thomas Edison wouldn’t have invented the light bulb and Japan would not stand as one of the world’s powerhouses. Education does shape society to become more advanced but if society has no sense of urgency, education would be fruitless. Therefore, failure is necessary as it is a catalyst to motivate both individuals and societies to embrace education.

You have a proficient use of vocabulary; however, your grammar needs work, as often commas or better sentence structure is needed in certain places. I applaud your use of examples, though some words aren’t use properly, i.e. “Japan was merely a remain” should be “Japan became the remnants of centuries of war”, or something like that. Overall, I think you’re a strong writer in terms of content, but grammar and word usage need improvement. Out of 12, I would give this a 8.

Probably 10-12 idk

Trust me you are not that bad, it mainly depends on the mood of the examiner. Personally, I would give you 7-8 out of 12. You need to focus on the ideas more and the overall structure of each sentence.
Good luck.