Hi.
I am hoping to get at least 10 for my essay.
I will be much appreicated if you could grade my essay and also give me some feedbacks.
Oh and yes, the examples that I used in my essay may not be fully correct, since I just bull craped as I wrote. So, please don’t judge based on the factuality of my examples, because it’s probably not gonna be correct.
Prompt:
Are people who do not follow society’s traditional paths to advancement more likely to be successful than those who do?
Response:
The pundit of pedagogy, Dr. Davis Rourke in Australian National University once stated that the best way to educate children is to form an environment where they can question freely. As Rourke testifies, the key to success in today society is not about following the conventional trends; instead, it is taking an alternative path that society does not fully endorse. I will argue that taking an unconventional approach increases the chances of being successful, because doing so precipitates one to develop critical insights that are essential to success.
One example that proves why opting for original methods is significant to success is Thomas Edison, the father of the lightbulb. To take a case on point, Edison, since the beginning of his career as a scientist in 1836, was always eager to develop a permanent light bulb that could improve the public’s life condition. However, one problem he faced during his investigation was that none of the contemporary scientists supported his experiment due to the mere daunts and uncertainty that conventional science did not support Edison’s idea. Undeterred, Edison underwent numerous unsuccessful trials of connecting two different electric currents through Platinum filaments but finally discovered an amalgam of Iron and Copper filaments that allows this connection. His discovery through an unconventional approach ultimately served to form the robust basis of the first practically sustainable electric lightbulb that could last for more than 1800 hours. Clearly, his insight of employing different materials would not have been formed, had it not been for this unconventional approach, thus revealing that the success is likely to come from not conforming traditional ways.
Frederick Douglass provides another rudimentary foundation that attests the significance of unconformity to the mainstream social rules. Specifically, born a slave, Douglass was always treated as an inferior being to other ‘normal’ people and thus had to always follow his slaveholder. Since his era was mainly the 18th and 19th century, not only did he get treated inhumanly, but also other African-American people similar to him had to undergo insufferable time. The adverse social milieu notwithstanding, Douglass decided to take an opposing stance against the corrupt society: to free himself and to free all the slaves. Consequently, with his brave, yet certainly adamant attitude, he ran away to the north and started a new life as a social reformer and changed the general public’s perception that slave has an inferior intelligence. An understanding of his actions is crucial, since this not only reflects his different approach to the typically expected social trends of what slaves were meant to do in the 19th century, but also once again elucidates the importance of attempting unconventional approaches.
Although it is tempting to believe that ‘difference’ does not always create success, compelling evidences of Thomas Edison and Frederick Douglass reveal this notion to be fallacious. The real key to success, instead, is taking a different route, since this allows the quintessentially necessary perspicacity to form.
Thanks everybody! 