Can I Get A Grade For An SAT Practice Essay

Test Preparation
1

<p>Hey everybody. Could you guys tell me what you would give this essay which I wrote to a prompt from collegeboard.com in 25 minutes, under test conditions? Also, how is the length (388 words)?</p>

<p>Question: Is it beneficial to learn of flaws in one's role models?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>It is tempting to say that it is always best to know the full truth of a role model's character; it is actually, however, often better to believe in the illusion that he is perfect. While it is, in essense, opting to be naive, ignoring a man's worst qualities can allow one to benefit more from his relationship with his role model. When one sees his role model as a perfect being, he is extremely receptive to following and learning from his role model's best qualities. When he becomes aware of his role model's flaws, he loses respect for him and benefits less from the role models good qualities. This was the case when I learned that my uncle, whom I'd admired since a young age, was racist.
Since I was a boy, I had respected my uncles fun sense of humor and character; he made me laugh and I enjoyed being around him. This changed when he made a racist comment in front of me a few years ago. Suddenly, I stopped looking up to him and emulating him because of this newly discovered flaw (until I discovered it, he had been one of my most prominent role models). When I learned of the flaw, I forgot about all the good qualities I'd always seen in him - these qualities had previously inspired me to be like him - and I came to see him only as a racist. This experience ruined my image of my uncle, causing me to disregard his actions and abandon my rich respect for him. Ultimately, I wish I'd never discovered my uncle is a racist; doing so took a positive male role model out of my life.
The saying "ignorance is bliss" rings true in many situations, and this is one of them. A person can enjoy substantial benefits from having a role model and emulating his best qualities. When one believes his role model is perfect, even if he is wrong, he is able to maximize his ability to learn from his role model without guilt or question, in a positive way. Discovering a role model's flaws only brings one doubt and hinders his respect for the role model. It is best to maintain good image of those one looks up to, even if it's fake.</p>

<p>Thanks for all answers!</p>

2

<p>wow, they’ve already given out the prompt for the last SAT?</p>

<p>your writing is rather trite and long-winded. you don’t really make your example too resounding and don’t make it prove your point. moreover, it’s only a single example. this essay is really wordy yet rather short.</p>

<p>I’d say 7-8. But I’m pretty tough.</p>

3

<p>You have some grammar errors (plug the text into Word and run a grammar check for some feedback) and you rely too much on “it is” sentence construction, particularly early in the essay. With more examples, your essay could be stronger.</p>

4

<p>6 out of 12.</p>

<p>too short, grammar problems, etc.</p>

5

<p>It makes more sense to grade out of 6, since only one person grades it at a time. I would say 3-4.</p>

6

<p>You didn’t explain what you could have learned from your uncle, and glossed over what could have been a pivotal (and space taking) example in the essay. You also repeat your sentence structure and ideas, while some diction is overused. </p>

<p>The essay is set up to be a one-example essay, with your thesis basically arguing that ignorance is bliss because of so and so, but you definitely need another example which either ties in with the essay’s personal example, or generally supports your argument in consideration of the prompt, which will call for an introductory paragraph, which you should have anyway.</p>

7

<p>This format has gotten me 11-12:
Start with hook then thesis then three points then transitions. Then firat point topic then elaboration and transition conclusion. Follow this for all three points. Conclusion is restating thesis and a brief summary on all points. Then conclude with an open but relevant and thought provoking remark. I do impromptu public speaking as well as extemporaneous speaking, and im a good writer(not on the internet) and you just need to stick with it! Good luck! Id give it a 6-8.</p>

8

<p>hmm. I already got a 10 on the real thing already and didn’t think this was much worse. Oh well. Thanks to everyone</p>

9

<p>oh and I am pretty sure most of you are wrong about length. I read some grade 6 samples and also read Kaplans advice and my length is fine. Thanks though for the other advice</p>

10

<p>Five paras are best btw</p>