please grade my essay!

<p>Hey so I just wrote my first practice essay. I'm disappointed in what I was able to write in 25 minutes, so know that you're reading no 6 essay right now. I want feedback. Score it and provide your insight. THANKS! Do we benefot from learning about the flaws of people we admire or respect? I think that we benefit from learning about the flaws of people we admire or respect, because perfection is unattainable, thus we shouldn't view human beings as flawless. Additionally, flaws can serve as motivation for ourselves to strive for our own personal best. In Chinua Achebe's "Things Fall Apart", Okonkwo uses his father's flaws as motivation for himself. His father died in serious debt, and was a lazy, unambitious weakling. Okonkwo does not want to end his life as an unsuccessful man, therefore he becomes one of the most prominent men in his village, and focuses immensely on strength. Children are like sponges, and it's important that they absorb the fact that perfection doesn't exist. If children strive to be like TV stars who they view as "perfect", then they will only disappoint themselves. Learning their own role models' flaws fosters confidence in children as they are--imperfect people. Learning that their role models are flawed people who strive for their personal best allows children to set reasonable goals without setting themselves up for disappointment. Awareness of the flaws in the people we admire and respect is beneficial, because their flaws inspire people to aim high without expecting perfection. Their flaws can also serve as motivation for ourselves, in the case of Okonkwo who tries to avoid his father's mistakes. As children develop they can procure a healthy perspective on goal-setting by knowing the flaws of those they admire. Human beings are flawed creatures; they can strive for their best but will never reach "perfection".</p>

<p>“I think that” I give this a 2.5.</p>

<p>I give it a 5/12</p>

<p>Agreed with the other two, a 5/12 I think would suit the essay</p>

<p>Needs to be longer and more organized. Use paragraphs.</p>

<p>ok thanks. 2.5/12…hahaha wow. i am a good writer though believe it or not (this essay didn’t show that), so by a little prep on how to approach this essay i think everything will be ok.
thanks so much for your help.</p>