Can no longer afford school I SIR-ed to

Paying for College
1

<p>(I realize this is very long; please bear with me!)</p>

<p>I'm going to be a freshman at a well known, private LAC this fall. I made the decision to attend in April after receiving a commitment from my dad that he would pay my approx $15K EFC (I would still have to take out federal loans, totaling a little over $20K over 4 years, but his contribution would keep me from having to take any private loans.)</p>

<p>A few days ago, he pulled out completely and is refusing to pay for any college expenses, not even community college. He has always been abusive, and there is a police record. He's extremely controlling and financially abusive (my mom doesn't have a job or any savings or assets.)</p>

<p>Looking back now I realize what a stupid decision it was to expect him to keep his one commitment to me but I'd worked really hard for my dream school and was blinded by the fact that it seemed financially in reach, I suppose. Anyway, I made a bad decision and am trying to figure out what my options are now.</p>

<ul>
<li>I called my school, where they have a previous written appeal explaining my family situation, but the FA counselor I spoke to seemed very dismissive ("well, we expect both parents to pay anyway" ... "well, if he walks out then how is your mom going to pay the bills if she doesn't even have a job?")</li>
</ul>

<p>Her suggestion was to submit another appeal, though she warned me several times that "he's not willing to pay" isn't an excuse (which makes sense.)</p>

<ul>
<li><p>I spoke with the people at my second choice, a UC, where I would have had to pay $16K per year (no loans), but it's past the SIR deadline, obviously. And they said they don't take spring semester/sophomore year transfers.</p></li>
<li><p>I don't know if declaring him a non-custodial parent at my school would help (or even be possible since they're not legally divorced or separated.) </p></li>
<li><p>I could go to community college for 2 years and transfer. This is a last resort, and something I really don't want to have to do because it means living in an abusive household for another 2 years, which I don't know if I could manage. I would also have to take out loans for this as well. (And, of course, it makes me sad to think that I worked so hard and got into great schools, which I have always thought of as my ticket out, only to have to stay at home and then later move to a school that isn't as good as I could have done.)</p></li>
</ul>

<p>Do I have any other options for college, or should I just accept that it will be CC for now? Is there anyway to get financial aid based on my mom's information only?</p>

<p>Thanks in advance.</p>

2

<p>Okay, take a breath, make a plan, and take a year off. I know it’s not what you’d been looking forward to for this coming year, but it seems like it might be your best option.</p>

<p>Ask the private college to grant you a one-year leave of absence and, in the meantime, reapply to the UC, as well as to schools where your hard work in high school might earn you some significant merit aid. (Look at the [automatic</a> scholarship](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-7.html#post15895768]automatic”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-7.html#post15895768) schools.) Use the year to work and set aside some money . . . perhaps you can find a live-in position doing childcare. It wouldn’t be the best money, but it would get you out of the house. Or, if there’s any volunteer/service program you could join that would include living arrangements, that might be an option also.</p>

<p>And, no, under the circumstances, it does not seem likely you’d be able to get financial aid based on your mom’s income only. And you dad isn’t a non-custodial parent . . . but, even if he was, that would only make a difference at FAFSA-only schools. Most Profile schools take a non-custodial parent’s financial info into account in determining eligibility for financial aid.</p>

3

<p>^ Good guidance from dodgersmom. Follow it. Good luck.</p>

4

<p>Thank you to you both. I’m going to appeal to both the UC and my school anyway and just give it a shot. Besides a letter from me and letters from high school teachers/mentors that back up my story, is there any other documentation I should provide?</p>

5

<p>Is there any way you and your mom can move out. Does she have relatives who could take her in while she gets on her feet? If your parents separate and you live with your mom, she becomes the custodial parent and your EFC will decline sharply. It sounds like your mom is afraid of him. She probably would need to obtain a protection from abuse order signed by a judge. If she were then to write your colleges, explain that you two are on your own, and provide a copy of a protection order, that would carry weight. The entire process would likely take weeks however, assuming your mom is ready to leave (I would be).</p>

6

<p>fallingrock,
Sounds like your mom is not about to make any moves and it’s all on you. You show an amazing maturity – tackling this on your own, contacting your schools, making a plan (even one that might involve very significant changes to your education.)</p>

<p>Snowdog is right, if your mother would agree to take this on it could change things. But if not, you need to look at your options.</p>

<p>Dodgermom is right on. Ask for a year’s deferral from your dream school. Make plans to re-apply to the UC. Get a job and save as much as possible. Your home situation sounds awful but it might be worth it for one more year. If you found a live-in situation which also allows you to work for income that would be great. If not, living at home would allow you to save. </p>

<p>Best of luck!</p>

7

<p>PS - I don’t mean to encourage you to stay at home if gets to a point where you are in danger, however. Surely you are anxius to get out of the house. It’s just that the light IS at the end of the tunnel, you had hoped to reach it already this September…it is still there, you just have a bit more to go before you arrive.</p>

8

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<p>As I mentioned above, this is simply NOT true at many (if not most) private colleges. FAFSA-only schools will disregard the non-custodial parent’s income; most PROFILE schools will not.</p>

9

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<p>OP said his second-choice school is a FAFSA-only school so that’s what I was talking about. And although Profile schools may be reluctant to accept a student’s word that the noncustodial parent is noncompliant, a protection from abuse order would lend substantial support to the assertion.</p>