Have you ever met someone whom you instantly clicked with on some degree? Well, that was how I felt when I first met my best friend at 9 years old. It was as if we had known each other for a lifetime. Though our friendship did not last, he made me understand the kind of person I want to be.
Over the years, we formed a bond that could never be broken. Every second of every day, we would be texting or skyping each other. There was not a secret one of us did not know. On Fridays after school, we would go to his favorite spot in our neighborhood-Powell’s Cove Park. There was a bold grey rock straight down the path positioned right before the bay, enabling you to see the sun set and the clear sky. Our spot was surrounded by trees, leaving no visual ability to any trespassers. It was like a fairy tale; isolated and closed off from reality, we were in our own world. But when an incident occurred, I not only lost the one I loved, I lost my best friend. The one person who knew me inside out was no longer in my life, and I did not know how to live.
From loving me, he taught me how to love myself. He taught me how to be independent and how to stand up for myself. He taught me that my scars are beautiful, for they represent stories you can`t buy. They’re better than tattoos. He taught me my flaws make me who I am, so embrace them to the best of my ability. He shared with me his tragedies, hopes, dreams, and thoughts. He molded me into the person, who I am proud to say, I have become. He makes me want to be a better person. Because of him, I am no longer trying to be homogeneous with society. He supported my decisions, and gave me encouragement to help me pursue my goals. From him, I understood that it’s okay to stand out. I learned to be bold in what I believe in, and not be affected by anyone’s opinions. He shared with me his passion to spend time with the elderly- a lesson I am very grateful for. I discovered the elderly have many stories to tell and much wisdom to give if one just listens. But most importantly, he made me believe there was more to life than materialistic things, such as love.
I know this might sound stupid because after all, I’m only 17 years old. Whoever is reading this right now is probably thinking, “What would she know about love? She’s still a child.” But it`s not like that; we had the real thing. We’re no longer best friends, but I still have pieces of him embedded into my soul. Speaking of, he has such a beautiful soul-one I am glad to have known. He`s a very rare breed; he`s someone you would be lucky to meet once in your life time.
I am having a hard time following this essay. Did it all take place when you were 9 or over the course of many years? What was the ‘incident’? Did this person die? When you talk about the person you became- what type of person is that? You talk about goals and beliefs- what are they? It is a little vague/general/broad right now
Definitely needs some editing- I think something to keep in mind is that Villanova isn’t looking to hear a story that’s novel worthy with large vocabulary. They want to know about you. Who have you instantly clicked with and what does that say about you? Why did you click with them? How have they impacted your life & how have you impacted theirs?
You wrote a beautiful piece cherishing a relationship you had with someone special, but as it is written, it would not work for a college essay. Colleges want to know YOU. This essay lacks YOU and your qualities. And remember to show, not tell, in your essay.