Can someone grade my SAT essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>Nowadays, our society is geared towards the acquisition of knowledge, but we never think of the knowledge as anything other than beneficial. This thinking, however, is flawed, for knowledge can burdensome in many aspects of our lives. Some such examples are Harry Potter, Albert Einstein, and myself.</p>

<pre><code>In 2009, my cousin, developed Leukemia. It was devastating news for my family, but not the whole family knew. As children, my brother, younger cousins and I were not informed of this. One day, I accidentally found out, and I was horrified. After that, the knowledge of her cancer bore down on me, day in and day out. I couldn’t talk to any adults about it, as I wasn’t supposed to know. I couldn’t talk to my brother or cousins about it, because I didn’t wish to scare them. She eventually got better and is fine now, but while she was sick, the knowledge of the situation was burdensome for me.

In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Harry is the wizarding world’s last hope against the evil Lord Voldemort. The only way to defeat Voldemort is for Harry to destroy all of Voldemort’s Horcruxes, which are fragments of his soul. Later, Harry discovers that the last of Voldemort’s Horcruxes was Harry himself. The only way Harry could think of to destroy it was to die. Had he known that he was a Horcrux from the beginning, he may not have had the courage to keep fighting and destroying the Horcruxes.

Albert Einstein was a physicist who is arguably the most intelligent man in history. During WWII, he worked alongside Robert Oppenheimer and others on the “Manhattan Project”, which was the U.S.’s nuclear weapons development program. Einstein was instrumental in the development of the bombs, which would later be dropped on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Einstein described this project as one of his greatest regrets. The knowledge of the destructive power of the weapons he helped create haunted him for the rest of his life.

As is evidenced by Einstein, Harry Potter, and myself, while knowledge is often beneficial, it can also be burdensome.
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2

<p>Its a high 4. Your conclusion is too much of an afterthought- the conclusion is really where you should be proving to the grader that the logic of your examples holds in all cases. </p>

<p>For instance, maybe it’s inevitable that people knowing about something they have no power over (like your cousin’s cancer) leads to unproductive anxiety and agitation. On the other hand the Harry Potter and Einstein examples could show that too much knowledge of a negative outcome out constrain a person from taking a necessary action.</p>