Can someone help me with my UC essay?

<p>I finished my UC essay for prompt number two, but I really need help shortening it (it is 650 ish words) and I feel that there is a lack of cohesion between some of the paragraphs because I feel the need to explain every single detail sometimes. I would gladly take any help I can, but I have to warn you guys that it's not exactly that good yet because I've only edited it twice. </p>

<p>If anyone is willing to help, just post or PM me and I'll send you guys the essay through PM. (:</p>

<p>Sure I will help</p>

<p>I’ll read too!</p>

<p>wow 650 words for just one prompt?
im sure i can help u with that.
send it over =)</p>