CAN SOMEONE LOOK OVER MY COMMON APP ESSAY

I don’t need professional criticism, just an opinion. I’m desperate - I need any kind of feedback I can get.
The only “selective” school I’ve gotten into is UNC Chapel Hill early action, and I completely rewrote my common app essay for my RD schools. I’ve gotten rejected so far from EVERY single one (WUSTL, Johns Hopkins, Pomona, Northwestern, Rice) - not even a waitlist. Seems the common factor is my CA essay. So, in regards to the schools I have left (Duke, Yale, Brown, Stanford, Carnegie Mellon) (lol), can anyone review my CA essay? I applied for biomedical engineering/bio-engineering for all except Stanford (econ) - 1570 SAT, 3.9 UW, LOTS of AP classes (all 5’s except for one), 780 math 2, 790 chemistry, decent ec’s with research experience. I’ll PM the link.

I’ll take a look.

WHY??? The applications are submitted and decisions will be out shortly. You can’t do anything to change it now. The list of schools you have is extremely competitive for any applicant regardless of academic stats.

If you do insist on having it reviewed I would first ask a trusted English teacher at your HS to look it over. And if you do send to anyone on CC I would recommend that it is an adult with many posts.

@happy1 For closure. It’s good to have a second opinion on things sometimes.

I’m not one for agonizing over something that can no longer be changed …but to each his/her own I guess.

@happy1 No, I agree. I’m not so much agonizing over it (frankly, I’ve accepted that I’m likely not going to get into any of the rest of my RD schools) - I’m more curious about the cause of my rejections. I’m aware that it’s gotten insanely competitive this year, but I considered myself a competitive candidate; I was expecting at least a waitlist. Nope. All I know is that my common app essay is a large departure from any other essay I’ve written this college season, and I didn’t have anyone I know look over it. That probably wasn’t the best decision, but for the sake of curiosity (and to prepare me for future applications requiring essays) I’m asking now.

I’d be happy to look at it to see if I can see any red flags and/or give you some guidance for future essays. PM me.

You mentioned on another thread that you did not show demonstrated interest for Wash U, which may explain that rejection. Pomona is crazy hard to get into without ED. All of these schools are concerned about yield. If they don’t think that you’re really interested in going there and don’t visit, interview, communicate with reps via email, etc., you’re not going to get in.

@LoveTheBard Yep, I knew about demonstrated interest for Wash U (and Rice), but I didn’t know that the other schools considered it. I did try for interviews at JHU (filled out their request form) and I interviewed for/visited Pomona, but as a Californian it wasn’t very feasible for my family to visit the midwest/east coast schools. Should have visited Rice though - rip. My school is also insanely competitive, so in retrospect this isn’t all that unusual. I just panicked after receiving so many rejections in a row.

Not sure strangers on an anonymous forum can explain adcom thinking. You have no idea it really is your essay. It could be any institutional factor.

You need to try to feel confident you did give this your best shot. And “interest” isn’t as simple as visiting or contacting them. Best wishes.

I think it’s far too late to worry about your essay.

Instead, it’s time to readjust your expectations and apply to other schools. Now. Today.

The “common factor” isn’t just your essay, it’s your entire application-- the classes you’ve taken, the grades you’ve received, your genetic and financial background, your major.

Playing with your essay at the very end of March isn’t the answer. Re-adjusting your expectations is the answer…or accepting the acceptance from UNC Chapel Hill. You applied there and got in… why are you still in panic mode at this point in time?

BTW UNC-Chapel Hill is a fantastic school which can offer tremendous opportunities. You can only attend one college and you have one excellent acceptance already in hand. Try to relax.