Can someone please grade my essay?

<p>I'm taking the Sat's for the first time in March. I've mainly been practicing CR and Math, which I usually score around a 1400 combined (that's good enough for me, I don't have SUCH lofty goals) from those 2 sections, so now I'm focusing on the writing section.</p>

<p>I took the practice essay on collegeboard's website today and they gave me a 10. I don't know how accurate that is, and I also know that typing and writing the essay are very different, but I have a pretty neat handwriting even when writing fast and finished this essay in about 20 minutes, so I just want to know if this style of writing is any good or not. thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Prompt- Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?</p>

<p>There usually isn't much of a reason to keep things private. If people like to do embarrasing things, they should be able to tell their friends about it, assuming they're true friends. Keeping things private implies that you shouldn't be doing them. If it's something you really shouldn't be doing, for example illegal activities like driving under the influence or taking drugs, you shouldn't be doing them in the first place, but if you did, you should confess to it. However, if it isn't anything illegal and is just embarrasing, like your choice of TV shows, you shouldn't have to hide that.</p>

<p>For example, in high school there are people who enjoy playing video games, watching anime, and other activities that are known to be "nerdy." These people wil most likely keep it private and not broadcast to the world that they enjoy these things. I don't think that is what they should be doing. This means they have to go through their whole teen life lying to all their so called "friends," which nobody enjoys doing. If they would be open about it, they would find out who their real friends are by hanging out with the ones that respect them for telling the truth.</p>

<p>However, when you get into the area of keeping illegal practices private, that is a bit of a different story. If you drink while under the age of 18, you definitely aren't planning on telling cops or teachers about it, and probably not your parents either. This is due to a combination of factors, but the main one is obviously because you don't want to get caught. Of course, you shouldn't be drinking in the first place, but many teenagers will not listen to that advice. I think that talking about it to someone that won't turn them in, like a parent, is very beneficial. They can then possibly be talked out of doing bad things and making bad decisions. If you keep it private, you're sure to repeat your past mistakes.</p>

<p>Another thing some people like to keep private is how they run their everyday life. While some will rush to tell everyone about who they've been texting lately or what they had for dinner, others feel more reserved and don't feel a need to tell everyone every little detail about themselves. While there is nothing wrong with that, think they should make a bit of an effort to keep their life a little less private. Talking about what you like to do is a great way to make conversation with your friends. You can choose to be reserved, but in the end this may make it harder to be social and have fun.</p>

<p>These 3 cases all differ from one another, but they all make the same point: Keeping things private isn't usually the best way to go in life. For whatever reason that you feel you need to keep something under the radar, there will usually be a better reason why you should tell someone, or some people. Because of these reasons highlighted in the previous paragraphs, people should aim to keep their life less private.</p>

<p>anyone? please?</p>

<p>Well, what seems to be the problem here?</p>

<p>Your writing style is good enough but the reason why you scored a 10 is your lack of solid examples. Also, I’m not sure if this is important but I personally feel that your content paragraphs are slightly…narrow-minded. They focus only on the woe-is-me angsty life of teenagers, but that shouldn’t be too big of a problem.</p>

<p>Try to avoid using conjunctions eg. isn’t, shouldn’t etc.</p>

<p>thanks so much for reading through my essay!</p>

<p>And yeah, I’m not really sure if there is a problem or not. I always thought of myself personally as a good writer, but I have trouble fitting in good vocabulary words into my essays, as I feel like it never flows well. Are big words really needed, or will an essay written like this be considered good?</p>

<p>As for the examples, yeah I agree that’s a problem. Truth is when I read for fun I don’t really go for the famous literature books like the Great Gatsby and my school doesn’t make us read so many of them either, so I was unsure what examples to put in besides the general ones that I included here. Are there any other types of examples that the essay graders like besides from literature?</p>

<p>Can someone grade this essay? I’m new here
Prompt: Do people need to compare themselves with others in order to appreciate what they have?
Essay: Comparison is a psychological tendency that one cannot avoid no matter how hard one tries. We are always comparing ourselves to others, sometimes without even realizing it. But does this tendency to compare teach us to appreciate what we have at our disposal? I think so. I was led to believe this due to what happened to me a few years back.
My parents and I were out at a restaurant one weekend. We hadn’t had dinner out at a fancy restaurant for quite a while, and I was extremely excited. So here we were at the restaurant skimming through our menus. I really wanted to try the beef steak as it was a specialty of that place. But my mother, who was pregnant at that time and immensely hormonal, insisted on vegetarian food. Her condition made her wishes a priority for my dad and we settled on having plain old vegan instead. I must admit I was furious at having to make this sacrifice. Hence, the entire time we were there, I picked on my food.
Why I was sulking, I noticed through the glass windows next to me that a waiter of the restaurant was giving away some food in a Ziplock bag, perhaps leftovers, to a shabby looking man, presumably a bum. That was when my perspective started to shift. I compared myself to that beggar. I was much better off that he. At least I had a plate full of food right before my eyes. That poor man probably didn’t even know if he could have breakfast the next day. He had to rely on luck.
The incident with the beggar got me thinking and I forgot about my desire of having a steak. I was rather grateful to God for at least having a plate fool of expensive food, whereas that man was presumably eating mere leftovers, sitting in an alley or someplace worse. This comparison made me appreciate the food in front of me and I immediately began chomping it. For some reason, the vegetable dish tasted ethereal to me at that moment.
If I hadn’t compared myself that evening to the poor man, I would never had realized the importance of what I had at my disposal. I believe that when human beings are depressed over what little amount of belongings they have, they should compare themselves to others who are far more deprived than than they are. This instills a sense of gratification in them for what they have rather than lamenting over what could have been. Indeed, comparison helps us appreciate our possessions.</p>

<p>I’d give this essay a 8 because of grammatical mistakes and because you don’t have solid example just like the first one. Both can have this score. You have to have examples from history, literature, and one personal or anything else if u have solid examples I’d give both essays a 10</p>