Can someone please grade my SAT essay?

<p>The quote is "Many people believe that out government should do more to solve our problems. After all, how can one individual create more jobs or make roads safer or improve the schools or help to provide any of the other benefits that we have come to enjoy? And yet expecting that the government-rather than individuals-should always come up with the solutions to society's ills may have made us self-reliant, undermining our independence and self-sufficiency.</p>

<p>The assignment is: Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>My essay:</p>

<pre><code> It has long been debated whether the government should take a larger part in the community, or if the general population should assume responsibility for themselves. As history has shown taught us in the past, a "laissez faire" approach to the community is not beneficial due to score of people that would take advantage of others. As behavioral psychology has taught us in the past, people generally have an inclination to take part in acts which in turn will benefit them. In addition people tend to partake in activities that make everything convenient, easy, or enjoyable, thus making a need for laws set by the government. Due to the natural inclination of people, the involvement of government becomes necessary.
People, in history, have generally taken advantage of others, when the government has had a "laissez faire: approach to the community. An example of this was the rise of monopolies which occured in the early 20th century. Many business men had started to take advantage of laissez faire policies, which inevitably caused big business men to try and take over their specific industry. They accomplished this goal by buying small businesses, and running other, that wouldn't sell their business, out of business. This would inevitably cause many to lose their source of income and go bankrupt. This would, in turn, cause the Great Depression. The government needs to have a hand in regulating businesses in order to stop monopolies.
The inclination of people to do what's easy, convenient, and enjoyable also has led to need of government to have a hand in society. An example of this is present in all high schools and their communities. Many young adults do not see the need for school, and do not wish to go to school. The law forces them, but this was not always the case. Around a century parents would not send children to school, so they could help with the family business, thus ruining the chances of their children of a better future. Today, according to law, students are forced to attend school atleast until they're 16. This opens a whole new world of opportunities that would not be there if students would not go to school. Although this law has value, the government should have a stricter control, forcing students to at least graduate high school, which would open up even newer oppurtunities.
As history has shown us, government control over communities is necessary. Without this control, people would be out of business, children not go to school, and the economy may even be in an ever-present state of Depression. The control and strictness negates these results, and puts society in a better state.
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