Can someone take a look at my CommonApp essay (too informal)?

<p>Hi, I'm an international student from Italy and I really need someone to proofread my Common App essay and tell if it's too informal. I have been a bit ironic, but I don't know if that's ok.
While you're at it, could you please also point out flow/content/grammar that you think doesn't sound quite right?</p>

<p>Any help would be much appreciated! :)</p>