Can we brainstorm some on dorm partying control?

<p>Just commenting that there ARE resident directors and other counselors and staff that live in dorms, deal with housing and residential life, as well as enforcing the drug/alcohol policies and judicial procedures and what not. There are staff there. Still the kids are independent and I think the set up is appropriate in most places. Certain kids do not do well and certain ones understand moderation and have other priorities. At some point, these young adults must be responsible. Many schools have things in place for those who break a lot of rules in terms of housing and drugs/alcohol and also in terms of not making the grade academically.</p>

<p>Interesting. There are no resident directors living in my son's dorm or that have a "presence". From what I can see - there is an administrative tree relating more to maintenance that leads to a resident director who has an office outside of the dorms - works 9 to 5, etc. I imagine every school is a bit different. </p>

<p>I am not sure how common this is but as soon as we dropped our son off he was immediately "rushed" by the on campus frats. His first experience with the "social life" at his school was being woo'ed with a myriad of invitations and encouragements to parties happening directly across the street at on campus frats. Being 700 miles from home and wanting to find his place contributed to his going to the parties with all the guys on his floor - they moved as a pack. This was not in his best interest during the first two and three weeks of school when he had no idea what really happened on campus. The frats literally went into the dorms and cajoled kids to come and play football, etc., and then attend parties where drinking was definitely occurring - on campus! Wanting to be part of something first semester is a big draw and I think it would be nice to have different perspectives around than your equally uninformed and new to the scene freshmen brotherhood on the corridor. Older students at least would provide some perspective, perhaps model other options. A corridor of freshmen really are the blind leading the blind. My son was given a bid but ultimately did not join. Now he realizes that he does not need to be part of the frats to have friends and fun but operating without some guidance was an experiment that had some unfortunate consequences for some. I think kids are very vulnerable during this transition and think it would be nice to have a middle ground of support during the freshman year in some official "form". This doesn't have to be curfews or policing but, as a parent, I would have welcomed more than the voice of the just minted sophomore RA who, in fact, belonged to one of the frats that was beseiging these confused potential recruits and supplying a great deal of liquor.</p>

<p>In reference to an earlier post, I want to make sure that readers do not feel that I am singling out state schools as party schools ( my son is at a state school). I mentioned that some students are being arrested at some state schools for underage drinking. This is because campus police at state schools are deputized state police - not police hired by the college. They are required to arrest and prosecute students who are breaking the law. Many of the private school campus police forces will just report a drinking incident to the dean of students and the student may receive a warning or maybe social probation through the school. This is not what occurs at state schools. In Virginia, for example, underage possession of alcohol is a class one misdemeanor. Last summer, the laws were changed such that possession does not have be proven by possession of alcohol - indeed, lack of balance or bleary eyes can be used as evidence of "possession of alcohol". Virginia is very serious about underage drinking and the campus police, who are state police, do arrest students. Student then have to deal with a life long arrest record and/or conviction for a class one misdemeanor. It is happening in Virginia and I just wanted to let parents know that partying is not a minor consideration or a "given" at every college or in every state (or in every location in every state). Definitely know your state's regs and the local tolerance (the town in the state, the school's particular interest in curbing drinking) before agreeing with your student that drinking comes with college and is not a significant concern. I did not mean to imply that students in state schools were more prone to drinking, partying, etc. I think students in some states at state schools have more reason to worry about drinking than students at private schools from what I have learned. I did receive a comment about that and wanted to be clear about my post and it's intention.</p>

<p>Just for the record, i don't party,binge drink, or smoke anything. i completely see that the partying at college is excessive, but don't see posting here as an effective way to aide in solving the problem. as for sink or swim, i say that a student who can't cut it in college on his or her own belongs back in high school.</p>

<p>just read a great book about modern day residential college life (it's called Binge, by Barrett Seamann). written mainly for parents, but it has something for everyone. highly recommend it.</p>

<p>Great book= Pledged, about soririty life in the south, talks about drinking and frats and why the kids do it</p>

<p>The issues that may have been talked about but I missed it, is how are they getting the booze? Obviouslly stores are selling it to them, accepting a Fake ID, not looking at an ID, or older students are supplying it</p>

<p>What is the legal drinking age in most states is 18, and while drinking in moderation for an 18 and 19 year old is fine with me, these kids seem to have an unending supply</p>

<p>When i was in college, if we had alcohol, it was hard to get and we had to ration it to a degree, one blow out a month, or just a little a week</p>

<p>So something to address is where the alcohol is coming from</p>

<p>With date rape a not uncommon accurance in college, this issue is one to be addressed</p>

<p>Again, the book Pledged is eyepopping. These girls pre-partied- got smashed before even going to the party, they would go to off house addresses</p>

<p>As for sink or swim, deaths, rapes, car accidents, paralyzed kids, violence results from binge drinking</p>

<p>Education, positive things to do, some montoring of stores who sell alcohol to minors, etc can all add up to helping deal with a situtation that is giggled at and well, its what happens everywhere</p>

<p>Talking is good. Its a start. ANd schools need to take this more seriouslly and when rules are broken have consqeunces that work, not just a wink and a nod. If a kid is found wondering the campus drunk, well, in the real world, they may be put in holding to sober up, well, maybe at least a hearing. Hey, dude, getting wasted and doing XYZ ain't cool, so tell us about it.</p>

<p>Dorm partying is a problem. Our high school has sadly noted that a few of its alums (who received top merit scholarships) have been kicked out of their colleges because of low grades from excess partying/missing classes. It is a HUGE concern for the h.s. because the kids here are very scholastic minded but just get "caught up" with the fun in dorm life.</p>

<p>The students are devastated -- the parents are furious. What to do??</p>

<p>Room curfews are one answer.</p>

<p>There was a time (back in our parents time) when dorms and greek houses were more tightly controlled about drinking and visits from members of the op sex.</p>

<p>There is evidence that the area of the brain that makes responsible decisions does not fully develop until age 25. No wonder so many college kids (yes, they are kids) make impulsive and unwise choices.</p>

<p>There is evidence that the area of the brain that makes responsible decisions does not fully develop until age 25. No wonder so many college kids (yes, they are kids) make impulsive and unwise choices.</p>

<p>Um yep ;)
I was just talking to my D who is a senior and filling out her teachforamerica application. and thinking about what I was doing when I was her age- ( I had just gotten married and was just months away from getting pregnant with her!)</p>

<p>I wouldn't say it was unwise- but I wonder why our bodies are at prime procreation mode when we are in our early - mid 20s if our brains don't mature for a few years</p>

<p>Probably because we won't need fully-developed brains until our kids are teenagers!</p>

<p>Still, who is SELLING the contraband? Is there any responsibility of the stores? </p>

<p>And it is sad that kids go "wild" in college, for some its just an extention of high school life, for many others, its a release, a freedom from "having" to do well to get into the college, which is the goal, not the BEING in college</p>

<p>Its kind of like a wedding, for months and months the focus is on the wedding that one day, all focus is there, with not enough attention often to the "real" life of marriage to follow- the responsibilties, etc., while some adapt well, others, it isn't as easy as highschool, even if highschool was work, and it moves faster, so it is very easy to fall behind and once you do, its like, well, why bother now</p>

<p>We must look at college like marriage, not like the wedding. I think if students realized that, that marriage/college can be fun, it is also serious</p>

<p>And WHO IS SELLING THEM THE CONTRABAND!!!!! That is my pet peeve of the day, why do the stores or bars who know the students are underage, already drunk, keep selling alcohol</p>

<p>So where is this college that** doesn't have UPS or FedEx for delivery of alcohol**? Who are you kidding? All alcohol is available online and shipped right into the dorms. A student doesn't even need to have a fake ID......just an ability to pay.</p>

<p>Dr. Wechsler of Harvard's School of Public Health has targeted the alcohol companies, distributors, and bar owners marketing to college campuses as a major component of the problem. He suggests curtailing price promotions and cheap booze as one element in an effective strategy to reduce heavy drinking.</p>

<p>As good citizens, the booze companies help fund "social norms" marketing -- a program adopted by colleges to reduce alcohol consumption exclusively through education and involving no concrete steps to curtail supply or demand.</p>

<p>I have been to the QFC over by the university of washington in very tony university village- but you should see the beer displays- huge!</p>

<p>I have often pondered this myself: so much effort and energy wasted getting the beer from the off campus establishment to the campus party. I am thinking that the universitites should all start their own micro brew and just pipe the stuff in.......you know with a meter and a swipe card. When too much has been drawn from the tap they can slow the flow......</p>

<p>ha, hazmat, you know that vassar was started by a brewer who made sure that the halls of all the buildings were wide enough to roll a barrel of beer down!</p>

<p>why wouldn't bars sell alcohol to minors? it makes them a ton of money, especially near campuses where a significant part of the population is under 21 but still wants to drink. there is a booming business in fake ids (although it's getting harder due to new technology of scanning) and drinking is as social an activity in college as ever.</p>

<p>i think it's a bit sad that so many kids turn to drinking in college - it displays a lot of insecurities they have about being social. but really, college is an independent project of growth and an important aspect of that is learning your limit (it's not like alcohol goes away after college) and becoming mature enough to find other ways to have fun. some people will be lost along the way who have too much to drink or dont know where to get help, but that's just survival of the fittest. </p>

<p>colleges should start offering more school-sponsored programs rather than leaving students, particularly freshman, to the frats. ideally these programs would be run by older students (for the coolness factor).. this way it's not like there's nothing else to do on campus but drink and study.</p>

<p>Reply to #48--</p>

<p>"I wouldn't say it was unwise- but I wonder why our bodies are at prime procreation mode when we are in our early - mid 20s if our brains don't mature for a few years."</p>

<p>Why? because biology WANTS us to procreate. We're not supposed to think twice about if it's a good idea or not! </p>

<p>Unfortunately, today's extended educational system is at odds with what biology wants us to do.</p>

<p>And as far as minors acquiring alcohol, my husband still tells the story of how he was able to buy kegs of beer for dorm parties as an 18-year-old (underage in Ohio) just by ordering them shipped to the dorm loading dock. All they wanted was his money.</p>

<p>I agree the RAs should have a more mature presence instead of being enablers. It's tough on kids who want to resist drinking not to have any support from the college. Bottom line, it's wise to investigate the "dominant culture" of any college you plan to attend. If it's not your lifestyle, think twice about going.</p>

<p>Egad, UPS!!!! So, when parents, who are most liekly paying the credit card see the bills, its like, okay</p>

<p>Maybe there should be a code on the credit cards (like id cards) that say, warning will rogers, under 21 year old is owner of this card</p>

<p>Okay, guess I live in a cave</p>

<p>My Ds, at this point find really drunk people annoying and tacky, but that is now, just hope it carries through to College</p>

<p>Every teenage girl needs to read Pledged- very honest and eye opening, did I mention the book?</p>

<p>Whether you live in a cave or not isn't the relevant factor here. The phenom of underage drinking is an American social problem. We have vast numbers of "underage" violating the laws.......but no longer violating social norms. If society really saw this as a problem action would be taken. No action is seemingly being taken so it is only a matter of time until changes in the law come into affect.</p>

<p>Not UPS! The beer delivery truck would come to the dorm. Cash on the barrelhead, so to speak.</p>

<p>Who else do you think was going to haul those kegs up the hill? I mean really now.......drop them off on the dock and pick up the Yankee Dollar. Yup Yup Yup Commerce if you will, a "market" if you will. Demand meets buyer. Where there is a demand there will be a market.....the meeting of a buyer and seller.</p>