Can you grade my SAT essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Could you rate it on a scale of 2-12 and tell me where i could improve and what i am doing wrong </p>

<p>Everyone hero or criminal starts out as a normal human. The only difference is the circumstances that they were faced with. Stories of all hero figures begin as a simple and normal story that changes only after some circumstances. This is illustrated in many incidents in the past times.</p>

<p>Mahatma Gandhi is considered the father of India. The person who made the difference; lifting India from an age of oppression by the British rulers to an age of freedom. Mahatma was a lawyer, a regular man by all accounts until one incident completely changed him. He was traveling in a train in South Africa when he was rudely and unjustly thrown out of the train b the British, who ruled South Africa at the time. He was thrown out of the train only because he was colored. This outraged him and he decided to return to India with a strong passion burning in his heart. He vowed to fight against injustice, against the British rule and against tyranny that represented the British rule. He was no different from us until an the fateful day hat changed him.</p>

<p>Buddhism was created by Siddhartha Gautama, who later came to be known as Buddha. He was born to a royal family and had 3 palaces at his disposal. He lived a luxurious life, a life of a prince. His father shielded him from the suffering faced by the common man and wished that one day he would become a great king. Buddha had all the material things in the world one could dream of. He soon came to realize the sufferings and difficulties faced by his fellow men. He gave up this life of luxury to lead an ascetic life. He become great because of a series of incidents.</p>

<p>No man is born special we are all the same when we are born. A series of circumstances change us and shape us into who we are. We all have the capability to become a hero if we are faced with a scenario that lets us be one</p>

2

<p>If you could reply with a prompt, I can give you better advice. (not that my advice is good or anything, I’m just another student)</p>

<p>Could you grade mine back please? (one of the last posts here)
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days-29.html#post12488583[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days-29.html#post12488583&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

3

<p>The people we call heroes do not usually start out as unusual. Often they are ordinary people subject to ordinary human weaknesses—fear, doubt, and self-interest. In fact, they live ordinary lives until they distinguish themselves by having to deal with an injustice or a difficult situation. Only then, when they must respond in thought and in action to an extraordinary challenge, do people begin to know their strengths and weaknesses.</p>

<p>Assignment:
Do people learn who they are only when they are forced into action? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

4

<p>There’s some punctuation and grammar mistakes in the intro and conclusion.
The second example is rather weak, I don’t see the “forced into action”
Perhaps a bit more syntax variation - most sentences start with “He”.</p>

<p>I’d give this a 4-5, and I think you would benefit from a few minutes at the end checking everything over. </p>

<p>thanks for looking mine over!
(it was somewhat offtopic, I agree - I was reciting from an article I read xD)</p>

5

<p>I didn’t know much about the second example i was clutching straws. Good catch :wink:
and i almost ran out of time. It took me like 6 minutes to brain storm.<br>
I noticed all the punctuation errors after i posted it decided not to change it.
4-5 on 12!!???</p>

6

<p>I would give this a 8/12.</p>

7

<p>8/12 for me</p>

8

<p>6-7/12</p>

<p>-Lot of grammatical errors
-No introduction of arguments or links back to the thesis
-Decent vocabulary</p>

9

<p>@btbam1</p>

<p>I noticed the grammar errors. The are really bad!!! :cry:
I did not know we had to link back to the thesis! I never do that</p>