Can you please grade my essay? SAT in a few days!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Prompt of Blue Book PT #9:</p>

<p>"'Tough challenges reveal our strengths and weaknesses.' This statement is certainly true; adversity helps us discover who we are. Hardships can often lead us to examine who we are and to question what is important in life. In fact, people who have experienced seriously adverse events frequently report that they were positively changed by their negative experiences."</p>

<p>Assignment:
"Do you think that ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are?"</p>

<p>Essay:
Human beings confront tough challenges in life, which can result in cathartic experiences. Adversity is crucial to self-realization and to understand the important aspects of life. Several examples from literary works and my personal life clearly demonstrate that adversity is crucial to our well-being.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath, facing our obstacles in life can be healing. In Steinbeck's novel, Rose of Sharon of the Joad is negligent and cold-hearted of the Joad family's hardships in surviving the Great Depression. However, as the plot progresses, the Joads confront several hardships, such as deportation, poverty, and adversity by corporations, like the grape-picking corporation. These challenges instill a cathartic experience in Rose of Sharon, as evidenced by the altruism displayed at the the end of the novel, when she gives her breast milk to an ill old man in a barn during a storm. Therefore, as a result of overcoming adversity, Rose of Sharon portrays positive growth.</p>

<p>Sophocles' "Oedipus Rex" and "Oedipus at Colonus" also demonstrate self-realization by confronting adversity. In Sophocles' first play, "Oedipus Rex," Oedipus is the king of Thebes, a city plagued by the Gods. Oedipus is portrayed as a king burgeoning with self-pride or hubris, his hamartia. This tragic flaw consequentially leads to his "gouging out of his eyes" and exile because he was condemned for killing his father Laius and marrying his mother, Iocaste, accidentally. In Sophocles' next play, Oedipus is healed of his hamartia and shows the wisdom he has discovered by his removal of his tragic flaw, hubris. He is portrayed as a prophet, in exile, rather than a self-glorifier, and tells Creon, a man with excess pride, that his hamartia will lead to his downfall. Thus, Sophocles' plays evidently demonstrate that confronting hardships can lead to an epiphany of oneself.</p>

<p>My personal life also portrays that adversity can benefit us. As a student in high school, I enrolled in arduous courses, such as AP Chemistry and AP U.S. History. These classes gave me knowledge not only of the subject matter, but also of self-discipline. At the beginning of the year, I had a C in both of these classes. But by forming my own discipline, such as obtaining a tutor, taking abundant notes, and taking practice tests, I was able to earn an A in both of these classes and earn a 5 on both AP Exams.</p>

<p>After a careful analysis of Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath, Sophocles' "Oedipus Rex" and "Oedipus at Colonus," adversity is indeed crucial to helping us discover the important parts of life and our identity. If we do not have adversity, we will never uncover our true selves and be negligent of the values of our life experiences.</p>

<p>By the way, I don't know how to underline Grapes of Wrath.</p>

<p>Do mine, and I'll do yours. =)</p>

2

<p>bump10char Someone please help.</p>

3

<p>Clearly stated position, and you’ve got the vocab and examples. A 10 or 11. I think your argument could be improved with a counterargument refuting how ease can benefit.</p>

4

<p>I think this is a 12 out of 12. Your grammar is generally excellent. </p>

<p>There’s a amall error here with misplaced modifier:</p>

<p>Human beings confront tough challenges in life, which can result in cathartic experiences. </p>

<p>Change to:</p>

<p>Human beings confront tough challenges in life – challenges that can result in cathartic experiences. </p>

<p>OR</p>

<p>Human beings confront life’s tough challenges, which can result in cathartic experiences. </p>

<p>You use many big SAT words. You have good organization and variety in your sentence structures. And you have good examples. I don’t think you need to refute the other side. You do a good job of showing your side.</p>

5

<p>Can someone grade my essay?</p>

<p>prompt: If people worked less, would they be more creative and active during their free time?</p>

<p>Offering people more free time would allow the public to not only become more creative but also become more active. The well-regarded painter Michelangelo, the highly respected U.S. president Barack Obama and the world-record holder for weight loss serve as just three of a myriad of examples of this obvious conclusion.
When Michelangelo was just a teen-ager, he initially had to work assiduously on his family’s bucolic farm. He had little time for creative interests. Longing to paint, he insisted on three-day weekends. His parents concurred that painting could ameliorate his dissatisfaction with his adolescent years. Painting every Friday through Sunday, Michelangelo developed many of the techniques that would make him – decades later – one of the most renowned painters.</p>

<p>Another example demonstrating the strong correlation between free time and creativity is U.S. president Barack Obama. He faced a dilemma early in his term, when opponents lambasted him for his plans for healthcare reform. The scathing attacks left him baffled and weak. During a vacation on Martha’s Vineyard, he had an epiphany: He could create a plan that would allay the concerns of his most ardent opponents. That plan eventually passed both houses, overhauling the way Americans receive healthcare.</p>

<p>Leisure time not only augments creativity but also boost activity. No one needs to tell that to Juan Gutierrez, who cut back his work hours by just one hour a day – and went jogging. Within a year, the once-obese man shed 375 pounds.</p>

<p>Because free time can boost creativity and improve health, more and more companies are choosing to allow their workers to have longer vacations and more three-day weekends, hoping to learn from Michelangelo, Obama – and Juan Gutierrez.</p>

6

<p>satstudent11, I say it’s a 9. The tone seems a little informal and pretentious, such as “obvious conclusion.” The third example is barely developed, though there isn’t much to add to it; it’s pretty straightforward. Though, a different, more developed would have been more effective. Clear thesis/position. Your conclusion is good, but relate the issue to a more broad, thematic scale rather than just narrowing it down to corporations learning from your examples; I doubt they learned from your examples, no offense. You want to leave your reader fully convinced about your steadfastness on this issue. </p>

<p>If you don’t like this advice, this thread made me get a 12 on my last SAT essay:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html?highlight=essay+guide[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html?highlight=essay+guide&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;