can you rate NHS essay

Can you guys check my NHS essay writing? I’m also concerned if my essay fits the prompt.

  1. Is this the essay that they are looking for? Did I get the prompt right?
  2. Is this a good essay in general
  3. If not, which portion should be revised?

Prompt: The four guiding pillars of the National Honor society are Character, Scholarship, Leadership, and Service. Select one (1) of the four pillars and compose a statement in which you explore the influence of this pillar in your life. WE suggest you include a personal experience in which the pillar taught you about yourself and develop your principles. Please use a minimum of 200 and a maximum of 300 words.

Out of the four guiding pillars of the National Honor Society ― character, scholarship, leadership, and service ― scholarship is probably NOT the best element that highlights me. With an ambitious dream, I repeatedly challenged myself with various Honors and Advanced Placement classes; I have achieved approximate GPA of 3.8, which is definitely not the most honorable achievement (in my opinion) compared to monstrous scholars out there. However, regardless of my grade, over the high school career, I can proudly say that I have done exceptionally abundant services to benefit the society. And, ironically, the majority of services that I served relate to the pillar of scholarship: tutoring Japanese from JNHS club, teaching instruments to unprivileged children from stARTs club, guiding children with Korean at the Korean church, and giving a private tutor on math at Carmel Valley Library. It would be a lie if I say that these scholarship services did not burden me at some point. I had to go through more sleepless nights preparing presentations, making worksheets, and practicing instruments. However, I am happy that I, whose academic performance is not incredibly outstanding, can also support the society, and I will always willingly sacrifice myself to offer assistance when they need it. 

+I’m also planning to conclude this paragraph saying something like, “I want to be involved in NHS because it fits my ideal, and I will continually be striving for more services as usual” is this vibe good?

Is the 3.8 UW? If so, its a fine gpa and makin excuses for it sounds bad. Choose service and tell them more about your experences as a tutor and volunteering instead of trying to make excuses.

No it’s weighted GPA. And I took 5 AP classes and 2 honors. 9th~11th. (Taking 3 Ap and 1 College Level this year) So I think 3.8 Weighted isn’t too good… but my school NHS eligible GPA is 3.2 in weighted one.

Still, dont focus on that in your essay.

Hey just caution abt posting your essay online- you could be caught “plagiarizing” yourself

I also completely agree w snowfairy. You are supposed to be writing about a pillar that inspired you, not one that didn’t. Service fits all the voluntary tutoring that you do perfectly.

Thank you for your advice, I thought my essay would be hard to plagiarize because I have my own unique activities, but I should make sure to revise my essay again and pm instead of posting.